Two Kings, Two Queens

This was a very random little piece, fantasy based. I should also probably mention that I wrote this with the Chronicles of Narnia in mind, hence two Kings and two Queens.

Notes: This was sort of written with the "Anyone Up For A Poetry Challange" challange set by Adam M Snow, so I would like to thank him for bringing back my poetry muse, as it's been ridiculously long since I wrote poetry, and I enjoyed every moment of writing it.

:::

Two Kings, Two Queens.

 

Upon a hill, beyond the sea                                 
There lies a grave beknownst to thee.               
It’s weathered rock dark’ned with time,        
And upon it, a single written rhyme.                 

Rejoice, rejoice, those who kneel here                           
Remember there is naught to fear.                               
Beware, beware, those who are chok’d with glee        
For revenge will turn tenfold unto thee.                    

A King here sits, his head bowed low,                 
His features lined with tears of woe                    
Thinking of a time so long ago;                             
Of treachery that forced a Land so low.              

Rejoice, rejoice, those who kneel here -
Remember there is naught to fear.
Beware, beware, those who are chok’d with glee -
For revenge will turn tenfold unto thee.

A brother dead, a heart in grief;                     
Tales of poverty, and a thief.                    
A sister’s heart in jealous rage;                
The King’s eyes in grief forever aged.  

Rejoice, rejoice, those who kneel here!
Remember there is naught to fear.
Beware, beware, those who are chok’d with glee -
For revenge will turn tenfold unto thee.

Another now sits, head in prayer.  
Eyes raise to her brother’s stare.    
Infinite hope within her young heart:
As she waits, for the eulogy to start.

Rejoice, rejoice, those who kneel here.
Remember there is naught to fear!
Beware, beware, those who are chok’d with glee;
For revenge shall turn tenfold unto thee.

A second queen approaches near;
The younger tenses in quiet fear.
A flash of steel as blade and neck meet:
The brute queen falls to her young brother’s feet.

 

Rejoice, rejoice, those who kneel here;
Remember there is naught to fear!
Beware, beware, those who are chok’d with glee;
For revenge will turn tenfold unto thee.

The king stands; the penance is paid.
Far from the grave, the second queen is laid.
A life of hatred; her last, final curse.
She is finally taken on a single drawn hearse.

Upon a hill, beyond the sea;
There is a grave beknownst to thee.
A simple hope, and a treasured past;
A Golden King put to rest at last.

Rejoice, rejoice, all those who kneel here…
For in these eyes there is naught to fear.

Reviews

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T..]

I can't believe no one else has commented on this fine piece. The inspiration is clear once you pointed it out but I think it would stand alone even without that prolog. I wonder about the lines that are repeated each time. Did you hear this (in your mind) as song perhaps? Something to be sung by a madrigal troupe? Just curious. Fine job either way. Thank you for sharing! :)

[Vittoria]

Thankyou so much for your kind words! Yes, originally this was written as a song, but the idea of that changed during the writing, and it became more poetry than lyrics. Still, it could perhaps even now be intrpreted as such. Many thanks for such a lovely review!

Vittoria

[James McFadyen]

The symmetry is overwhelmingly emphatic, the meter is perfect and the archaic imagery and vocabulary is truly fantastical. perfect poetry

[Vittoria]

Thankyou so much! I'm glad you enjoyed the piece! :) Thankyou for such a lovely review.

read moreThankyou so much! I'm glad you enjoyed the piece! :) Thankyou for such a lovely review.

Vittoria

[zainul]

A fabulous write.
You told an amazing story keeping in mind Chronicles of Narnia.
You offered a beautiful song with repetition of the following lines:
"Rejoice, rejoice, those who kneel here -
Remember there is naught to fear.
Beware, beware, those who are chok’d with glee -
For revenge will turn tenfold unto thee."
This inspired me to sing looking at the imaginary hill,beyond the sea though I don't have any singing talent.
Congratulations,Vittoria!!!

[Vittoria]

Thankyou, Zalnul, for your lovely review!!! I'm so glad you enjoyed the repetitious stanza - I played around quite a bit with it before I was able to make it sound how I wanted it to! So I'm so glad you like it!
There are some that say that musical ablilty is installed within each of us - so sing, sing away!!
My humbled thanks once again for your lovely review.

Vittoria

[zainul]

Hi Vittoria,
You are most welcome.
I am very pleased to learn that musical ablilty is installed within each of us. Let's sing, sing away!!
Nice to meet you,lovely poet.
Best wishes,
Zainul

[Vittoria]

Hi Zalnut,
You're far too kind! And I suppose that theory makes sense; considering all of us appreciate music to some degree or another (even if one person does not always agree with another's idea of "music"!). Indeed, let us sing!
And you, my gracoious friend!
Kindest regards,
Vittoria

[zainul]

Hi Vittoria,
You are a lovely friend.
I feel very very blessed to be your friend.
Please share your all works and happy moments with me so we can sing happily.
Sincerely yours,
Zainul

[Vittoria]

Hullo, Zanul,
Your kindness is overwhelming! The feeling, I assure you, is mutual. And the thoughts are returned twofold. Hope you have a lovely weekend!
Kindest regards,
Vittoria

[zainul]

Hello Vittoria ,
I totally agree with your very lovely statement.
Hope you have a lovely weekend as well!
Best regards,
Zainul

[Vittoria]

Zainul, I just realised I've been spelling your name with an L rather than an I! My deepest apologies; the writing on my screen made it too small to recognise as an i! I promise I'll be spelling it right from now on!
Enjoy your weekend to the fullest-

Kindest regards,
Vittoria

[zainul]

Never mind,dear Vittoria .
I knew it was inadvertent.
And ,what is in the name!When we are good friends.
I am, however,very pleased for your polite gesture.
Kindest regards,
Zainul

[Amanda J. S.]

Fantastic! I really love the story in this poem! It's so beautiful!

[Vittoria]

Thankyou so much! When I first wrote this, I really wasn't too sure whether the story was going to come out alright or not, but I'm happy you like it! Thankyou for reviewing!

Vittoria