Beautiful Red Roses

I'm having a depressing moment. Just ignore me until it passes. (laughs)

Watching roses fall and splash as the river guided them over its ivory borders, I felt my fingers weaken their grip on the wooden handle.  Before I knew it the knife was free, announced its arrival upon soiled tile with a clang, and its sharp bite divorced my flesh.

Reality was a bitter poison and those serving within knew how to force it down my throat.  It was no secret their disdain for me led them to this.  I never belonged, was a rat scurrying about and always under foot, and caused nothing but irritation.  I couldn’t help it though.  I just wanted them to notice me, perhaps try to pick me up and talk to me.  Such a fool I was.

My knees buckled.  I no longer wanted to fight.  It was a battle I could never win.  No matter how hard I tried I failed.  They didn’t want me to sully their reputations with my presence, words or sentiments.  I was a liability.

Growing tired I lay in the warmth spilling forth from opened veins, my blonde hair staining red, and as shifted my gaze to the hazy horizon I knew this choice was the best one I’ve ever made.