My Apologies

My Apologies

I’m sorry for trying to belong…

…trying to be noticed and accepted

I’m sorry for trying to make friends…

…share thoughts and feelings

I’m sorry for wanting love…

…friendship and communication

 

I should have listened to my Step-Father when he told me…

“You’ll never amount to anything.”

“No one would miss you if you died.”

“Go ahead and commit suicide.  No one will stop you.”

“You’ll always be a reject.”

“No one will ever love a s**t like you.”

 

I should have understood when my Mom refused to hug me…

…told me I was nothing special…

…confessed to how I was a mistake…

…regretted giving birth to me…

…how I’ve never done anything to make her proud…

…wished to have gotten rid of me

 

The truth is I will never belong…

…to any social group…

…to any fandom…

…on anyone’s friends list…

…in a conversation…

…in life

 

So again I am sorry

I will try to not converse…

…express interest…

…voice my feelings…

…believe I’m your equal