Must we break the ocean into a million pieces To discern the severity of a decision made wrong? To convey how life shattering your actions are? If only you knew how deeply your actions portray Where your priorities lie
Tell me. Is your reaction really congruent with the situation? Can you admit to over reaction? Or is your pride to high a flight To come back down to earth Land Feet to dirt And realize we are only human
I see now why it is That we can’t complete a full circle Without stopping mid way Or letting the line go astray I see now why Our emotions can sever us from other people who love us If
We let it control us.
Why must we Cut deep into each other The way the rain slices into the earth We don’t have to cut To know we have a core.
Writings like this, Celeste, you really need to do more instead of retreat to the dark. It may help you distract or escape, but beyond you, this is a necessary read that should never be deleted from the eyes of others...just sayin'
"I see now why it is
That we can’t complete a full circle" loved this in its midst.
Thought-provoking and cleverly-written piece,
Or is your pride to high a flight - think it should be 'too'. I wouldn't normally lecture on grammar (hardly a strong point!) but you said in your pm you needed an editor so maybe that's what you were looking for.
Initially this is very hard to pick apart, but that's why its clever, your questions give over totally to your voice in the end, in trying so hard to 'understand' we are actually reminded, 'we don't have to cut/ to know we have a core.' What a beautiful way to put it. There is a difference, is what I get from your write, from asking pointless questions and striving for knowledge, and realising we'll know what we need to in time. I also loved,
I see now why it is
That we can’t complete a full circle
Without stopping mid way
Or letting the line go astray'
Beautiful and raw. My favorite line is the last - so many things going on in it. This is one of the most powerful poems I have read in a while. Thank you!
Wow. The first verse in particular has an enormous impact. The questions land just right really make the reader think. There's a strong directness here, there's no hiding from the message of the poem. The first verse is so strong that it actually encapsulates the whole idea perfectly, it could almost stand alone as a poem in itself. It's also gorgeously descriptive, breaking the ocean into a million pieces is elegant, evocative, and stays with the reader throughout the poem, anchoring it to a single thought. This poem particularly hit home for me, because among my main faults of character are stubbornness, pride, inability to climb down and accept I'm wrong... so, there's a lesson for me here! Very well expressed poem, good thoughts, and nicely written. Like this :)
ur poem is really nice write, do have a look to mine "QUEST OF LIFE"-
" it is about how one neglects his life ,pondering about this precious gift of nature unnecessarily ".
profound piece, an impossible mission to break the ocean - its waves and collective force with the elements of wind, heat and tension make its beauty and violence. The feels like opposing tides crashing and fighting to live without giving.
Please support me by liking my Facebook author page!!
https://m.facebook.com/fleshtofleshbyKandiceCelesteMason Have a lot going on in my life right now, and basically getting a bit stressed, so ple.. more..