4 or so

“I can't stand it!" William said in frustration, he had asked a friend from school to lunch. "I hate seeing her like this, it hurts." He said a little quieter, starting to realize that there were people watching him.

Jeremy waited for them to start to look away before he answered, "no one would blame you if you just let her go."

"You know I can't do that," Will said glaring at the full plate in front of him.

"Oh, ya. I forgot you work for her dad, right? Be a shame to lose your job." Jeremy kept eating like saying that was no big deal.

"You say that like you would leave Julie if she were sitting in the passenger seat."

"I would have! No way I could live her after something like that." He continued to eat, "I'm just glad that only her arm was broken, not something important."

"What exactly is important to you?" William was now angry, "do you only think about her body? What about her mind? Her soul?" That last part slipped out.

"What, so you do?!" Jeremy's face reddened with anger, "When did you start caring anymore for Julie then me?" He stood up, full of anger.

"That's not what I meant," William said with an apologetic look. "I'm sorry," He looked down at his food. Whatever appetite he had when he bought his food was now gone, and he didn't think it would be coming back.

He didn't look up, but he could hear Jeremy walk away, he was sorry. But he had stood up for his sister and would do it again if need be.

But he still had the problem of Clara, what was he going to do when she woke up? What if she never woke up, how could he live with himself if he ran? Leaving her now was not an option, he would not do the same thing his dad did.

He promised himself he would never leave, no matter how hard it gets. He wouldn't turn on his heels and run when things became difficult, he would face his fears. Even if he was scared he'd lose her, he would rather be there when Clara died then off doing who knows what.

He sat there wondering what he could have done differently, could he have saved Jessica's life? Or maybe kept Clara out of the Hospital? She would be awake right now, probably right by his side. If he hadn't been so selfish, where would they be? Would they be eating lunch right now?

What was he doing with his life? Was college a necessity, or was it non-essential?

He went to the hospital that night to apologize, how could he ever even think about leaving her? She loved him even with all his faults, so why couldn't he love her throw this? He stopped outside of her door. How many times would he haft to walk through this door before he saw her sitting up with a smile on her face? Or would she never wake up, like the Doctors say?

He glared and walked in, there she was lying in her bed. She was so still one would think she were died, panic took him over and he ran toward the bed. She was breathing, a sense of relief covered him, and he relaxed. She was fine.

But then dread filled his mind as he realized how many times he would see her laying here with a look of pain on her face, would she die? Would she leave this world before she even turned eighteen? At this thought, his stomach lurched but he held it in, would he haft to live without her? He couldn't take the thought, so he pushed it away, she would get through this, she was strong. But could she? Could she really beat this? What if she didn't, what if she left him?

STOP!!!

My mind can't take this, please just stop. If she dies, then… Oh, I love her so much.

He gave her a kiss and left, he wouldn't stay there any longer than necessary. Couldn't. She meant too much to him, he didn't want to think what her going away would mean. He would be alone.

 

When he opened the front door, it was so quiet Julie must have already gone to bed. An emptiness pulled at him, did Jeremy tell her what had happened? Would she hate him now? Knowing Jeremy, he probably told her that Will insulted her instead of defended.

Julie came out of her room just then, looking like she just cried her eyes out.

"What's wrong?" Will asked even though he knew the answer.

Surprising him, she answered. "Jeremy said that he couldn't see me anymore," she looked about ready to start crying again.

"Why?" He asked carefully, not wanting to hurt her more.

"His father said I'm a bad influence on him!" Though he knew that was definitely not the reason, he had to give Jeremy credit. Julia thought he was the perfect kid, when in reality he was far from it.

"Well, maybe you should just give him time." Ya, like that was gonna help. "He'll miss you eventually," he murmured.

"What's wro…?" She was about to ask when their mother appeared in the hallway, upon hearing the front door open, she finished what she was doing and went to greet whomever entered.

"You look distraught Julie." She said with great concern in her voice, "what's the matter?"

Julia turned to her with shaking hands and said "nothing." She walked past her and into her room, knowing full well that answer would never satisfy her mother.

"What's wrong William," Martha said turning to her son. "Both of you seem to be having problems lately."

"You don't know the half of it," he mumbled under his breath.

"Perhaps God is testing you?" She asked with a skeptical look, "That would explain a lot."

"Like what?" He asked playfully, but then became serious. "I don't believe God is testing us Mother, I think he's preparing us."

"For what?"

"I don't know, but let's hope He'll show us soon." He answered, then said quietly "without claiming anymore lives."

She gave him an understanding look and said she'd better be off to bed. "I'll see you in the morning!"

"Night Mom," he smiled and gave her a hug before going upstairs to his own room.

There he sat on his bed thinking, what made him say what he did? How would he know if God was preparing them for something? What made him so sure? Sigh… "It's been a long day," he said to himself.

He leaned forward to open the top drawer of his bedside table. In it sat two things, an old warn bible and a small square box. His mind ran over the day he’d bought it, he had finally earned enough money to buy it. How was he supposed to know that it would be for nothing?

He slammed the drawer closed, why didn’t he just return it already? What good was it to him? He looked around at his almost empty room, all his things were packed in boxes. Was he ready to go off to college? He got down on the floor and began unpacking the boxes, he decided that he wouldn’t go to college until Clara got better. If she didn’t, it would be a nice distraction.