I don't want to feel guilty.

 

   I sat on the plastic chair near his bed, he looked to peaceful and calm. I had never seen him like this before in my life. The beeping noise echoed in my head as I stared at his pale face.

 

"Ath..." Dawn's soft voice spoke from behind me. "I think he's gone..." She said in a deathly sight.

 

 She knew the same thing as me. We all knew what was happenning. All of us, all of his friends who where standing behind me, next to his hospital bed; we all knew it was over.

 He had faught so hard. A tear crawled down my red cheek, making me sniffle quietly. I felt Ed's hand drop on my shoulder, I knew it was him because of the smell that came with the cold air to my neck.

 

"I have to ask you to leave now, people..." The nurse quietly said. "Maybe Miss Gerhawd would stay a little longer to say goodbye." She added, seing that I didn't react to her demand.

 

"To say goodbye...". The voice repeated itself again and again in my mind. I have to, I have to say goodbye to Aaron, now.

 

"Goodbye." I whispered, my voice was deformed because of the crying and the pain in my heart.

 

 I found the strength to lean over and kiss his cold forehead, before walking out of this room.

 

"Athena..." Dawn said quietly, holding my arm as I walked passed the group.

 

 I looked back at her, she had mascara trailed down her cheeks, revieling the fact that she had been crying aswell. I couldn't help but crash against her for a tight hug. This was so painful. Ed, Josh and Dan stood in silence behind her, their heads hanging low.

 

"Why him ?" I managed to sob in Dawn's red hair.

"It's no one's fault, and no one wanted this." She said, patting my back before tightening the hug even more.

 

 She was right, no one wanted this.

 

~ * ~

 

   I didn't even have the strenght to eat the next day, and my parents didn't make me go to scool. Not that they cared much, they spent their lives at work.

 

"Ath, come to the beach, we're all here and we need to spent some time together." Dawn's voice said trough the phone, before hanging up, not even giving me time to anwer.

 

 Guessing it was an obligation to go, I grabbed my keys and jacket before walking into the fresh, autumn air that filled Oakland's streets.

 I walked to the beach, as Dawn asked and stopped a few times, looking around me, seing those happy faces on people. I was jealouse of them. Why didn't they have problems ? Why did I have one ? I stopped in front of the music store, where he used to work. His green eyes flashed back into my mind, nearly causing me to fall backwards; as if someone had pushed me with this memory.

 I carried on walking as fast as I could. I need to be with someone, quick.

 

"Athena !" A yell caused me to turn my head as I arrived on the other side of the boulevard, just next to the beach.

 

 Josh waved his hand to catch my attetion to where they where all sitting in a circle. I could just see Aaron sitting overthere, next ot him, drinking and smoking, like they used to do on week-ends; all together.

 I shook this image out of my head and walked to them, my heart feeling as heavy as always since the accident.

 

"Okay, we can't stay like this forever." Dawn started, as soon as I sat down with them.

"Dude, it's only been two days..." Dan said, the same expression as the others' was on his face: sad, dpressed... Lonely ?

"I know, I know..." Dawn said, lowering her voice. "But I can't stand it anymore already." She said. "Look, we lost a good friend, a boyfriend..." She looked at me straight in the eyes before I looked back down at the sand. "A brother." She finished.

"Do you expect us to live all happy again after what happened ?" Ed sarcasticly asked. He was always sarcastic; he was the sarcastic guy of the band.

"I don't expect anything from anyone !" Dawn snapped back. "Just... Try, you know."

"Try what, exactly ?" Dan asked, taking a puff of his cigarette; being as clever as always.

"Try and live without him..." Dawn said, so quietly I could barely hear her. "Try and move one, without forgetting him, with him in our hearts..." She whispered, grabbing my hand to hold it tight.

 

 The boys nodded. A tear fell on Dawn and I's hands. We all knew how to respond to each other, without even talking. We knew how hard it would be, how hard it's going to be to move one, as Dawn said.

 Try and live without him... 

 

Author's Note

First chapter. Sorry it's sad.
Still, enjoy. ♥

Reviews

[Miranda]

when are you going to continue??

[Miranda]

this is really good. Its well written and makes me want to read more. Keep going your good at writing :-)