The unfogettable night

I don't know I am thinking this up as I go.

On a spooky cold, winter night as I lay in my room. I lay on my bed in My room just thinking about how better life could be if their was only no war but, we can't always get what we want. I just dazed off thinking of why people think it is so cool having war. what has war every done to help us. wow, it only kills people and the government is ok, with this?? well, what yoyu expect they could careless about the people of the world. I hope for just one day noone would argue. constantly all I hear from my parents is just a bunch of jiberish. seriously, I swear people think it's fun to argue. well, I hate it!! I just hate it. As I still lay on bed and ignore all the arguing going on downstairs. I get up out of bed and I am in my pajama's and walk over to my window and stare outside of it and I see the snow slowly land on the ground. I keep staring at the snow fall to ground but then I notice the mood downstairs and the color of snow change. I wonder if something is wrong downstairs and think the changing of the  color of the snow is a bad sign because it turns to red. red, the color of blood. I hurray downstairs as I hear people screaming but,  then when I get downstiars I see noone and I hear noone screaming. I figure it is just in my head and I head back upstairs

Reviews

[Gabriella]

I definitely think you should have revised this before posting. You have plenty of spelling and grammar errors and it distracts from your message - simple things like capitalization and comma placement. This is very disjointed and none of the thoughts seem to have anything to do with one another - what does the snow have to do with anything going on downstairs? Why wouldn't you have looked outside again? Another confusing thing is when you say "people think it is so cool having war." I don't know of any people who think it's "cool" and I'm not sure any of your readers would be able to relate. It would be very helpful if you provided some examples of people you know who think that it's cool to have a war. Whether you want to add more is up to you but I definitely think you should at least run a spell check.