The Journey

I knew I had reached the pit of despair when I began to feel spiritually bankrupt.  Life had slowly whittled away at me until it reached the core of my being and could go no deeper.   I had searched for answers to questions I barely understood and I examined my life without success.  Where had I gone wrong?  Was it the work I chose or the education I have?  Was it the house I live in or the amount of money I make?  Was it the books I read, the company I keep or lifestyle I chose?  Was it the thoughts I have, the words I speak or values I believe in?  With each passing day I understood less and less and felt further away from where I needed to be.  I felt desolate and empty and they became my constant companions.

Then I met a woman who would open the door to the path I would take to find the answers I desperately needed.  She captivated me and I trusted her.  She led me to the door but I knew I would take this journey alone.

When I stepped through that door I began my descent into another world. The sensation of falling was both exhilarating and frightening.  But instead of me falling down the world around me was moving up and at great speed.  The deeper into the journey I went the more I was drawn into my heart until great energy was concentrated in the center of my being.  Blackness enveloped me as I reached what I thought would be the end.  But, in fact, it was just beginning.  I felt light and free.  It was as if I entered a place where all of time existed simultaneously.   I stayed in this place long enough to feel at home in this new world, and, when I was comfortable the energy concentrated in the center of my being slowly opened up to reveal yet another passage way. I was drawn through this opening by a gravitational force I had never felt before and when I reached the other side I know immediately where I was.  I had returned to the place I existed before I was born.  Suspended and surrounded by light I was unified with the Creator.  I was whole not separate.   I was loved not forgotten.  I was peaceful not tormented.  I was found not lost.  I was reunited with my soul and all that is divine. 

 I had the answers all along; I was just looking in the wrong direction.  The journey stripped away my ego and unshackled the bonds to unworthy earthly desires.  Love and longing, joy and sorrow, hope and despair; they are two sides of the same coin.  I couldn’t fully appreciate one without experiencing the other.  I have learned to let go of expectation and just be.  I was born to experience all that is offered here on earth and to embrace it without fear or distrust.  I am here not as a human being to have spiritual experiences but rather as a spiritual being to have human experiences.  And this revelation has made all the difference in how I live my life.