The why the how and when.

The last poem (hopefully) that I write about him.

His mind is like a deep mystery to me.

I don't know what he feels or thinks about me.

It stirs emotions of dread in my head.

I want him to love me still.

Take me in his arms and hold me like he used to.

Love me the way he did before.

I threw away the letter.

I couldn't stand looking at it anymore.

I couldn't stand reading the lies anymore.

I didn't want to feel that way again.

To sit there and read it on my bed.

To think about how he said he felt.

To wonder if it was all lies.

I need to get him out of my insane mind.

My thoughts are racing 100mph

I no longer have control of this feeling.

If he could just understand and set me free.

Tell me no and let me be.

Let me grow and stop hoping for anything from him.

I want the truth no more lies and run a rounds.

He shut himself off to the one he said he loved.

No longer giving two s***s and me and my time.

I couldn't stand having his number so I lost it.

I couldn't stand having him at my disposal.

It was a grand life.

Of smiles and riches.

I threw it away for time to myself.

And a stupid title.

But if he loved me wouldn't he have wanted what I did?

Wouldn't he have wanted to talk?

Wouldn't he have wanted to see me and be by my side?

Then I stop and remember all the talk.

I remember how he said he wanted to take care of me.

How he said he would never hurt me.

Doesn't he realize how this is tearing me up.

Riping me to shreds.

Leaving me with nothing left.

All my friends are bored and tired.

All my family are sick and tired.

And as for me...

Me I'm just sick...

Wanting something that was never mine.

Dreaming of the days that I left so far behind.

The days that he said he would propose.

make me that happiest girl on Earth.

Didn't he know that I already was.

I was soaring high in the sky.

No one could get me off of cloud number nine.

I was great.

I was grand.

Now I'm low.

And left all alone.

Feeling sorry about the past.

And all the stupid grudges he still has.

Against me and the break ups.

Against the pain that I left him.

He won't say it but I know.

That at least once he let himself go.

He was happy for sometime.

He threw our happiness and left it all behind.

Decided that now just isn't the time.

But then when will we ever come together?

When will it be the perfect harmony?

I'm getting ready to board a new ship.

Leave my past behind me.

Is that when he will miss me and want to love me?

I don't care about the later.

I know I want him now.

I know that he is what I need.

But I am no longer what he needs to breathe.

So I shall set sail.

Let time take me where it will.

If he comes back I would love it.

And if he doesn't well then...

Just f**k it.

Reviews

[WayzWithWordz]

wow, it sounds like someone made a deep impact in your life, it may seem like in a bad way to some but to me its a good way because you composed this great poem because of him, i've felt the same way about a woman before and a woman has said some of those lines to me, she said "if you loved me you would want to talk" but i didn't want to talk so i guess i answered that question....but this is a good one i like it, cuz i can relate and i see the blood of your heart all over this...
o yeah thanks for the reviews on my poems also because of you i am posting another one right now
I am A FAN
Take Care