The one thing that was never said both ways...

It was a day like any other normal day until I saw him...

 

 

We had been together for almost 2 years when we had this big fight because of... I dont remember about what anymore to be honest with you. I hated being awa y from him but I knew it was for the best. I mean he was cute and funny but things were just not fun anymore. We stopped talking a little while after we broke up. He was my first love or so I thought at the time until I went into denial and would never speak this again till today when we saw each other again...

 

 

(Hi) I said when I saw her knowing that she might not say hi back...

 

 

(Hey There) I told him seeing the smile on his face and feeling a rollercoaster in my tummy as though I had seen him for the first time and fell in love again.

 

(Long time no see, how have you been?) I asked her even though it took me a few seconds to focus on what I wanted to say to her because I got lost in the depth of her eyes.

 

(I've been good... Really good actually!) I said this just to get to him show him that I didnt need him even thought I could no longer keep myself from thinking about how much I had missed his lips and missed his hand in mine.

 

(Good...) I didnt know what else to say I just wanted to kiss her... But I knew I couldnt because...

 

(What are you doing here?) I was hoping he had his friends there who thought I would be devistated and a mess... I look better than ever but at that moment I felt worse than ever.

 

(I'm here with my girlfriend) I didn't want to tell her but I couldn't lie to her... I really just wanted to say I'm here alone but I couldn't I was stupid.

 

(Oh... Thats good.... How long have you guys been together?) I wanted to cry my world literaly started to crumble I didnt know what to do but ask and realize how long it took for him to get over me.

 

(For 2 weeks now. My sister introduced us) I didnt want to tell her! How could I I mean she looked beautiful and as I said it I saw something in her but I didnt know what it was.

 

(Oh... That's great.) I didnt mean it. I turned away and wanted so badly to just run and not turn back at him. But when I turned back at him I felt as though we had broken it off in a completely diffrent way.

 

(Yeah it... i... it is...) I stammered something that I hadnt done for a long time... And I took that as a sign... I wanted to ask her... ask her if she still thought about me and if cared and I knew I couldnt... I dont know why but I couldnt all I could say was...

 

(What about you?) I looked at the ground and saw that she had on the anklet I had given her for Christmas 2 years before when we were just friends...

 

(No nothing... You know me I was never a guy magnet...) I wanted to know what was going on through his head... I did so badly... I wanted to ask him if he still thought about me and if he still cared and...

 

(Can I ask you something?) I froze waiting for an answer that could break my heart... At 16 a heart break is seen like nothing but these are the relationships that set you up for the future... so I was going to ask...

 

(Sure what is it babe?... Oh I'm sorry... I dont think of you that way... I mean it I mean I have a girlfriend and I wouldnt have a girlfriend if I still loved you right?) It was aful I wanted to kiss her I wanted to tell her the truth I wante to say I didnt mean it I do love you but I couldnt... How couldnt I right?

 

(Yeah... ... ... ...) I turned my head and felt my hands shaking. What now? Think I told myself but all I could do was...

 

(It was nice seeing you again... Take Care...) And I turned to run of I ran and ran from that mall and ended up were I shouldnt have been... His house... This familiar place to me... We had been friends since we were kids and this... his house was like home to me to... I turned the corner to a pretty little park were we had our first kiss... I put on my ipod... Death Cab... What a girl I thought to myself... I sat there at the swings by this time no one was there anymore... Its funny how all the kids grew up so quick and now they were to busy and to cool to be on a swing set... and then...

 

I saw her I knew she would be there she was there everyday for a month after we broke up and I could feel it when she would get there... Thats the funny thing between me and her... I could feel her emotions and she could usually read me like a book... I could feel her giving me the lips through the phone... You know the lips and the eyes that could make any guy melt... Thoes... When I saw her there I just stood not wanting to take a step closer and disturb the work of art I thought of her as so I stood there for what seemed like only a few seconds and then she looked up and saw me... and my heart went out to her and I knew what I had to do since the moment she had walked away... Well ran away... And I was going to do it now...

 

I got up not knowing if I wanted to walk to him or walk away just knowing that I couldnt let him pin me in one spot or he would see me be weak and that is something he had given up when we stopped talking what now seems like years ago... I was turning to walk away when I felt him running towards me and I started to run and I felt myself crying once again.

 

(LISTEN TO ME!) I demanded... I wanted her to just listen and I wanted to make it all go away and not see her cry anymore... So I ordered and didnt ask...

 

(WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? YOU BREAK MY HEART AND DONT CALL ME AND THEN YOU CALL ME BABE AND WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? FALL INTO YOUR ARMS OR FORGET YOU SAID ANYTHING? IT ISNT GOING TO BE THE SAME SO JUST GET OVER IT AND LET ME LEAVE... Let me walk away once and for all will you?) I wanted him to tell me no and hold me the way he used to...

 

( WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I CANT BE THIS BAD GUY FOREVER! I CANT BE THE ONE WHO DIDNT CALL AND BROKE YOUR HEART! YOU NEVER CALLED AND IF IT REALLY MENT SO MUCH TO YOU... YOU WOULD HAVE CALLED!! ITS NOT ALL UP TO ME YOU KNOW?! FORGET IT! THIS IS WHY WE NEVER WORKED! THIS RIGT HERE IS WHY WE NEVER WILL WORK I WAS STUPID FOR THINKING DIFFRENTLY) I turned away I was angry and as we drew closer to each other I could smell her and feel her body heat against mine... And I wanted to kiss her but I wouldnt back down again.

 

I ran after him and grabbed his arm so that he would stop I needed to know...

(What are you talking about?) My heart was raceing I wanted the happy ending I did I wanted him to kiss me and to walk off into the stars and sleep in his arms and wake up next to him... But I didnt know how I could anymore...

 

(Just forget it) And I pulled away from her for one last time in my head I was begging her to go after me one last time and that would be my sign that I hadnt broken it off with my new girlfriend for nothing...

 

(Tell me!) I demanded Hopeing I had worn him down.

 

I kissed her... I just kissed her and I swear that kiss lasted forever...

 

He kissed me... And it was one of thoes kisses that make you forget your name and were you are but your knees are still weak. It lasted forever...

 

Thats how it all started now...

 

Thats how it all started now...

 

We

are

having

our

second

child

and 

we've

been 

married

for

7

years.

Its

the

best

thing

I've

ever

done.