Dark Destined

This is just a description about what goes on also a re-written sort of short bio that i came up with too that has some events different and all. I have yet to start this story.

This is the rough description of the story.

An angel destined to become an Archangel while fighting a strong demon her right wing gets shredded, blood falling down like rain from the torn wing. She falls to the ground   in a forest; a child finds her and tries to bandage her wing using herbs to stop the bleeding, the girl has no home to return to or so she says. It begins to rain and the angel covers the girl with her good wing to keep her dry.  The next day the angel bathes herself in the stream that is nearby to wash the mud and blood covering her. She catches fish and finds berries while the girl collects herbs to use to spice the fish with. The child cries out and the angel quickly goes to find her. When she does the girl has been bitten by a dangerous snake that she didn’t see until it was too late. The Angel catches the snake as it is about to strike the girls throat and crushes its head throwing it away. She then uses some of her strength to pull the venom out of the girl’s leg and puts herbs on the wound wrapping it with a piece of torn cloth from her clothes. She carries the girl back to the clearing where she sets her down to rest and goes to collect wood taking care to start only a small fire and starts to cook the fish when the girl wakes up the angel hands her a cooked fish and they eat barely speaking to one another. The angel cannot retract her wings back into her body until they heal fully. She finds that she has to protect the child when demons attack. Once they know the child knows her they will keep coming after her. When the demons attacks become more direct at the child the angel covers her with her wings holding her to her chest as she uses her strongest attack. A sword that can wield itself and fight on its own her guardian sword.

                                    A sly male demon who doesn’t care to obey rules and orders decides to go out on his own. He goes to find an adventure and stumbles upon a boy who looks out of place in the dark woods he is traveling in. The boy looks scared and stumbles away from the demon tripping on a tree root and hitting his head. When the demon tried to help him the boy tried to crawl away so the demon put his hands on the boys wrists sitting on his abdomen and held him down as he licked his lips.  He licked the boy’s forehead where it was bleeding lightly savoring the boy’s blood. He agreed to help the boy out for nothing it seemed but really he was using this boy as entertainment. He loved to toy with peoples minds and corrupt them.  The boy tells him he is looking for his baby sister who ran away from home because their father beat her and him all the time. The demon grows fond of the boy as time goes by and watches him grow as he fights demons that attack them in the night. The demon even shows concern for the boy or so it seems when the boy is attacked while the demon is away the boy barely manages to drive them off. Upon returning the demon quickly holds the boy close to him and offers him a deal telling him in order to save him he must kiss him which in turn will connect them forever. His saliva upon swallowing heals the boys wounds. The demon admits he does indeed have feelings for him and will never leave his side again.  But if the boy is to survive and keep his wounds from returning two things must be done. The first thing is that they have to kiss often sharing his saliva in order to keep them both strong and healed. The second thing is that if that fails the only way to save the boys soul would be to merge together if that happens the demon will no longer be free and if he is back in his own body it will only be temporary as he can’t keep the form more than a day and can’t go far from the boy.  Eventually when a strong horde of demons come to take the demon back to hell. They then decide to attack when they see the boy to attack both of them an attack that almost kills them both. They decide before it’s too late to try and save themselves and the only way to do that is to combine together. When they become one their strengths become double the strength they had beforehand. They defeat the demons with no problem.

                Eventually the boy finds his sister with a beautiful woman whom he can’t help but have feelings for her. He becomes confused on who to love because all he can feel is that the demon hates the woman and the woman is wary of the boy feeling a dark side of him that both draws her in but sets her blood boiling. When the demon shows himself to her they fight trying to kill each other. The angel thinks that the demon is secretly attacking the boy and using him. She soon finds out that they both have feelings for each other which causes her to feel conflicted because she can’t fall in love with either if she is to become an archangel but her feelings slowly gets the best of her. She doesn’t find out until later that they both feel the same towards her.

This is the re-written story/bio still working on this and would like to get some feedback on which version idea is better and all this also gives names to the characters for the most part as well.

An angel named Aurora is destined to become an Archangel, However while fighting a strong demon her right wing gets shredded. Her blood falls to the ground like rain as she struggles to keep in the sky. She soon falls unconscious as she falls to the ground in a forested area. When she awakens she finds that a young child has found her and bandaged her injured wing. Aurora talks to the girl who seems frightened of her at first, but she soon learns the girl has no home to return to.  She guards the girl through many dangers, from demons to animals. They become good friends the girl looking up to the young angel as a mentor learning more about healing spells and herbs. When demons discover that she is with a child they attack trying to take the child back with them as a means to bring down Aurora. She is overwhelmed and the child is taken from her. She must rescue this child even if becomes clear she may lose herself to the dark forever.

 

A sly male demon named Kuro decides to go out on his own, not caring that it is forbidden to disobey orders. He wants to find adventure instead of being someone’s puppet any longer. He stumbles upon a boy in his teenage years walking in the dark woods unaware of the dangers around him. Kuro confronts him puzzled why this boy is in the woods in the first place. Humans are normally frightened of these woods and avoid them all the time. Kuro seizes this opportunity to lure this boy into bending to his will and becoming his puppet to play with. What he doesn’t know is that he may possibly get more than he bargains for in danger and fun. His feelings for the boy grow deeper as time goes on until he is forced to give up his freedom so that they both may live.

 

Zale, a young human in his teens awakens to his mother screaming once again into the night. She has been doing this ever since his younger sister ran away. The family was poor and could not afford to pay for someone to go looking for her. His father seemed heartbroken at first, but soon washed away his sorrow with mead and work.  He could not take any more of the screaming , so that night he packed a small bag of supplies and ran away to find his sister leaving behind a note and the money he had been saving up to pay someone to look for her.  He decided to look into the woods that no one wandered in thinking maybe his sister used that to her advantage so she would not be found. After days of looking he comes upon a handsome male who turns out to be a mischievous demon. At first he is scared of him, but grows more attracted to him as time goes on. He finds himself falling for this demon, if it is one of the demons tricks he doesn’t know or care. He finds his journey growing more dangerous the further into the forest they go. He soon discovers that his life is going to change forever and will never be the same again. The demon he loves will be with him forever.

 

A mysterious young knight finds Aurora injured leaning against a tree. He asks her about a young girl wandering the woods describing the girl whom she is searching for. He informs her that the young girl’s family has hired him to bring their daughter and son back to them. She tells him that demons have taken the girl and that she tried to protect her, but they were too strong

Author's Note

grammar problems will probably be very frequent because this is a rough draft of the description.

Reviews

[SRP]

I like it, Kitten. It shows a lot of potential. There are five things a story needs, setting, characters, conflict, climax, and resolution. For setting you have a mysterious and vast forest which holds ancient magic and great evils. You already have 5 major characters planned out, the angel, the demon, the knight, and the siblings. You have a few conflicts, the primary one being a search for the girl, I think, as well as other internal nd external conflicts dealing with emotions and dangers. I guess I won't know the climax or the resolution until after the sotry is written, those would be spoilers, but I'mhonestly interested to know.
I have a few suggestions, and they are just suggestions, if they help out then use them, if not don't be afraid of offending me, haha, just some things that I personally would like to see in the story. First and foremost, you should devolop an original system of magic or powers for the angels and demons. Something unique and creative. With angels and demons you coul have a system based on balance and the powers of light and dark or good and evil. I'd recomment something based o spirituality, and the soul. Where powers are derived from strength of spirit and they vary based on the aspects of the one using them.
It would also be interesting to incorporate the politics of heaven and hell into the story. This wold make it more engrosing ad realistic and would add more depth to the story as well as allowing an extra defence against plot holes that might come up. Such as, why the angl isn't getting any help from heaven or why the demon hasn't been hunted don by a far more powerful demon and brought back to hell.
Another cool idea would be to have the girl be special, some sort of piece in a political game or a holder or herald of some ancient magic or whatever you want it to be. The angel then would be wrong in her original assumption that the demons only want the girl because of their connection and that would make her rescue of the girl even more urgent.
I'm not sure how long you're planning this on being, but it could make a great full-length novel, I can't wait to read it and let me know if there's ver any way I could help.