Chapter One: Joe

I lay perfectly still on my bed, spellbound by a memory of my childhood. The nostalgic images wrap my mind in a frenzy I am unable to escape. I hear the waves violently pound the rocks that sit beneath my feet, my mother and father speak distantly about adult matters, matters I didn't understand the, and refused to now. My older brother, Frank was swimming deeper in the transparent ocean, every time i blinked it seemed he got another three meters out. I turn to face my two parents my mother, the capricious women she was was spitting words out with such bitter and hate, i thought she might actually spit. My father had his hands raised in contrite, now that I thought about it, he was never the one who did the yelling, his only contribution to the fights between my mother and him was the martyr decision to take his rest on the couch. I slowly turned my head back to Frank, not wanting to miss any mentioning of me or my brother in the argument. Once I was facing the precarious sea, my eyes failed to find my brother, my eyes quickly searched my further surroundings.

"Mum" the word escaped my lips in a fast panic, but my weak voice failed to interrupt the quarrel between my two parents. "Mum" this time my voice succeeded in it's mission. Both my parents turned to face my small six year old self.

"Yes, dear what do you need?" My mother said impatiently, not necessarily angry at me but at the interruption. 

"Where's Frank?" I knew where he was. My mother dropped any attention she was paying to my father, or me. Her eyes started frantically searching the water distant from her. "Where - Paul! Where was he?" I had seen over a hundred movies of women in similar situations, and I don't think any of actresses would ever nail the fear in my mother voice. My father joined my father in the search of their oldest son. I stood there completely helpless, to this day I still wonder if it was my age and my awareness that I could do very little or if it was the thought of what could happen if the search was unsuccessful that put my body into temporarily coma.

"Frank! Honey! Where are you?" My mothers cries for help were irrelevant, although it was a Sunday afternoon the beach was empty with other few strollers miles away from the hidden spot where my family and I were. My father starting running through the shallow water, arduously fighting the violent waves attempting to stop him. 

"FRANK!" My stomach starting aching with every cry for my brother she yelled. I can still hear her voice shake and crack in fear of not being responded to. My mother finally fell to her knees in defeat.

"Oh please, god please don't take my baby. Please, please" I watched my mother beg for the life of my older brother. 

"F**k, Marie, oh s**t, s**t" my mother and I both turned to my father in reaction to the cursive words that obviously stated that something was wrong. My father stood in the cerulean ocean holding a limp figure, that resembled my once lively brother.

"Oh no, no, God please, no" My mothers eyes shut, as her body gave into her emotions and collapsed on the wet sand, sobbing for her loss.

The rest of my childhood seemed to slip quickly away. After the sudden death of my older brother my parents once argumentative personality were replaced with dull ghost like ones. Every conversation had a heavy elephant weighing on it, every talk I ever had with my parents have the tragedy was followed by a deafening awkward silence.

Author's Note

Please let me know what you think.