Metanoia

A journey into the love of Megan and Keira, and the one action that brought about the end.

Megan and Keira were once on the tongues of nearly every conversation. If their high school were an issue of People Magazine, they were undoubtedly Kim and Kanye. Both had their own respective personalities that set them apart from the crowd, yet together they rocked the foundation of the world they inhabited. When the time arose that they no longer wanted to hide behind false lovers, and chose to stand in that blinding light called popularity, they did so with their hands interlocking and smiles upon their lips.

Their love was something that people talked about with a tumultuous fervor. It was a beautiful thing to behold honestly; the way Megan and Keira danced through the politics of high school was wondrous to witness, as if watching Swan Lake performed by the most graceful of ballerinas. Megan and Keira took the lashings of society, as they knew they would have to, and never let it get in their way. In their hearts they knew it would all be worth it in the end. It was deeply admirable.

Eventually the "scandal" became day-to-day normalcy and people began to see the true love that emanated from them. Megan and Keira were no longer seen as gay then, it was finally understood that it just happened to be a trait they both possessed, like having brown eyes or curly hair. The girls could finally relax completely and not feel hundreds of eyes burning holes into their backs.

* * *

Megan and Keira blossomed into a perfect combination of sporadic bliss by graduation. Everything was falling into place the way they wanted; life was bright and full of unflinching joy. Megan was a waitress at a cafe in the suburbs while Keira worked at a popular entertainment store. Financial stability earned the girls their first apartment and, as they achieved another milestone on their path together, they savored the sweet taste of happiness that only true love can bring.

As college and work made Megan weary by the end of every night, Keira gave her the energy to keep one foot in front of the other. Keira would sing to Megan as she held her, soothing the stress to a minimum. Keira rose the ranks at her job and soon she was the shift manager. More money allowed the girls to branch out and enjoy themselves more. The beach became a monthly release that helped let the monotony fade away; dinners and drinks with friends satiated the boredom from a week's worth of stress; and smaller, more intimate nights spent on the couch with a movie and popcorn lifted them up when they felt life pulling them down.

* * *

Several years flew by before the girls could blink and suddenly Megan was graduating law school with a job waiting for her at a very prestigious firm. Keira couldn't have been more happy for her and they celebrated with dinner at their favorite restaurant at the beach. Wine flowed endlessly, fish and shrimp filled their plates, and the amazing, salty air was absorbed greedily into their lungs. The night culminated with Keira holding Megan on the sand as the beautiful morning sun rose in a clear sky. A sign of bright things to come, they thought.

What they didn't realize was that Megan's new job would consume her life for weeks, if not months at a time. While Megan wore herself down to the bone with depositions and enough paperwork to wipe out a small forest, Keira was left alone in bittersweet turmoil. As happy as she was for Megan to be doing what she wanted, she was consistently saddened by the lack of time she was able to spend with her.

Keira tried everything to keep the spark alive, and succeeded for quite some time, but as anyone can.tell you: time is a cruel and fickle mistress. As Keira pined for the days where Megan was in her arms watching a boring film on the couch, Megan was attending parties and dinners with colleagues. Megan slowly drifted away from her adoring girlfriend and Keira grew slightly despondent.

The monthly beach escape had been forgotten for nearly 2 years when Keira figured it was time to revitalize the tradition. She believed it would have the power to ignite the passion that once allowed them to walk the halls of their high school as the proud and true couple they were. So Keira was going to reserve a suite at the hotel they used to frequent, and buy a bottle of fine wine to share with Megan as they caught up on shows and films they were missing. The only thing left to do was find a date to go on, a weekend was preferable.

One night, as Megan slept soundly beside her, Keira opened Megan's phone to check her work calendar for the next month. When she unlocked it, it was on a text thread between Megan and a girl from work. Without knowing why, Keira found herself reading the messages and ,before she realized it, she was sobbing uncontrollably. Megan was cheating on Keira, and had been for months. Sexts, texts, calls, and even emails were littered with the evidence that crushed her heart like an acme anvil.

Megan opened her eyes after hearing Keira crying and jolted up quickly. A terrified expression covered her face, and it turned to sorrow soon after. Keira dropped the phone and stared into Megan's eyes, the eyes that had once been her most favorite place in the entire world, and allowed her tears paint a story of pain and grief that cannot be put into words. Megan's throat locked up, and she froze in place. Keira got out of bed and left without grabbing a thing.

Keira nearly collapsed while she walked to her car and fell into it eagerly when she opened the door. The key turned and the engine hummed while Keira stared at the steering wheel, her eyes now a red and watery mess. Then, Keira let out the most gut wrenching and painful scream she had ever known, and felt her soul drain away as blood trickled in her throat from the force of the scream. Her heart had been shattered, her life destroyed, and she had no clue what to do.

Megan sat in bed, tears of her own seeping into the pillow she held tightly to her chest. Regret filled every ounce of her heart, every fiber of her being. What had she done? How could she do this to Keira, the love of her life? Megan had no answers for the litany of questions devouring her thoughts.

* * *

Megan, for the first time, dodged work for a few days; claiming food poisoning. She sat around the house waiting for Keira to come home. so they could talk and she could apologize, but Keira never showed. Endless calls went to voicemail, and texts were ignored entirely. Megan tore herself up inside thinking of how much she hurt Keira, to the point that anything but water came right back up and her head was seemingly imploding.

Keira sat in a quiet-as-the-grave hotel room with a carton of cigarettes and maddening thoughts. Keira sat in the ugly hotel chair and one-by-one the cigarettes burned to the filter and she dropped them on the small table in front of her. Though she fought it with all her will, Keira could not help but imagine Megan and the other woman. She would cringe and try to shake the thoughts from her head, yet nothing worked. Keira resigned herself to the fact that the thoughts wouldn't stop, so she decided to let them take control and hoped it would allow her to build enough disdain for Megan so she could end the relationship.

But Keira didn't want to end it, not even in the wake of such a betrayal. She loved Megan more than anything she ever had before, and the brutal dichotomy was ripping her apart at the seams. As Keira's cigarettes slowly piled up on the table, her attempt to hate Megan; Megan's tears soaked her pillow, her punishment for hurting Keira.

3 days of no contact turned into 7. Megan was back at work, though she was blatantly distracted and seeing the woman she had been with was a constant reminder of her horrid indiscretion. Keira took vacation time she'd earned and spent those 7 days in the smoky hotel room. On day 8 however, Megan heard the key turning in the front door lock and her heart nearly jumped out of her chest.

Keira opened the door slowly and was again face-to-face with Megan. Megan shook with a nervous fear and Keira almost broke down in the doorway with grief. Neither said a word when Keira walked past Megan to the bedroom and began packing. Megan approached Keira to place a hand on her shoulder, but pulled it back before contact. The tension in the room gave way to something more quiet and lonely, something that cannot be described.

Keira finished packing and made her way back to the front door. "Keira..." Megan said, choking on the rest of her words. Keira turned and stared into Megan's eyes for the last time. At that moment, Megan saw every ounce of pain she had caused Keira, she felt every bit of it and fell to her knees in a heap of sobs. Keira tuned her back to Megan, the hardest thing she had ever done, and closed the door on their once beautiful relationship.

Reviews

[Hawkmoth]

Well done! I found this deeply moving! The story is well constructed and flows very naturally, and I really grew to care for the characters- you did a good job at translating their emotions into words. Keep on writing, I'm looking forward to reading more of your stuff!

[Austin Cates]

Thanks, I appreciate it!