A story of a girl.

Strong warning...This is written out of depression, therefore it is very triggering.

I remember hearing the yelling of my parents, 

The music in my room sounding them out. 

when daddy left,

All the children looked at me funny.

Was I standing out?

Then I realized,

I'm not a beautiful girl.

My six year old self,

Started a hatred for her reflection.

A hatred so strong,

It grew towards other people.

A hatred, a deep dark hatred,

Grew toward her mother.

The woman she blamed most.

Her daddy never came around,

Until a new woman came around.

Who was she,

Trying to come into the little girls life.

This little girl, only six years of age,

Got picked on, and taunted.

Growing more hatred,

Where was it coming from?

Years passed,

Now the girl is the age of eight.

Laughing with a friend,

About all of the music, and scary movies they watched.

It was a show.

The hatred,

It started to fade.

In a haze, the girl got moved,

Because of her mother and step father she had to leave her only friend.

The hatred started growing again.

A little girl,

With her bright eyes.

Started to blame herself.

For everything that was happening. 

The fighting and yelling. 

It was all her fault,

So one day she picked up a kitchen knife.

Pushing the knife deep into her arm,

Glancing at her crimson, velvet blood.

An addiction started.

Years passed, 

It got worse.

The twelve year old girl,

Still hating herself,Blaming herself, so limited.

She finds herself in a dark room,

Listening to her mother yell at her.

"It was all my fault,"

She whispers to herself.

As she walks to her dresser,

Pulling out her black dress.

A notebook and pen,

Thrown on her bed.

Getting dressed quietly,

Putting her dark makeup on.

She writes her note.

"I know, it was all my fault, Everything." 

she jots down quickly.

"Tell Dad, I love him, and this was all Mom's fault"

The angry red pen leaks out.

Knowing, she won't be missed,

She ties the knot.

Holding her note tightly,

Finally, 

She's free. 

Author's Note

This poem, tells a story...If you have any suicidal thoughts.Talk to someone, PLEASE. You are important.