Secret love and hidden memory

Someone today told me. Write a new poem. Here it is.

                         











 


















Secret love and hidden memory.

I saw her face today.
Made me wander back in time.
Each of us hold our Beatrice's near.
The writer holds on to memories like a drunkard holds on to his wine.

Do our memories become less with time?
Do innocent kisses and embraces of youth become sweeter with age?

Do dreams of beautiful brown eyed young woman leave your thoughts
and you become empty?

Can you escape the dance of long sweet kisses and yearning to touch
tender and warm flesh?

Age allowed us to ponder old memories.
Make us wished we held tighter and done more.

Beautiful faces dance in my head.
Old thoughts forgotten.
Rebirth to make me remember I loved a brown eye girl once.

                                     Coyote
                                     May2012

Author's Note

Any mistakes. Please assist a old Poet.

Reviews

[Liderien]

there is an s on "dances" third line from the bottom. it should either be danced or dance.

The line under the picture could be shortened to fit the poem better.
instead of
""The writer holds on to memories like a drunk holds on to his wine"
The writers hold to memories like a drunkard to his wine.

That is all my friend. Thank you sharing. It brings me great joy to read your writings.

[*~*Butterfly Kisses*~*]

This is absolutely fascinating for me. The questions that one wonders about as time flies and we grow with age, "Age allowed us to ponder old memories, make us wish we held tighter and done more. We sometimes wish to go back in time and cherish what we once took for granted. But I suppose with what comes in age, is also a learning lesson not to take things for granted anymore.

A truthful, wise piece. Nicely done.

[Muse]

you asked for constructive criticism...I don't really have any but one. This is superb writing as usual.

At the end you write:

Beautiful faces dances in my head.

I would change it to faces dance in my head. Easy fix. :)

Otherwise you don't need any help...you are the kind of writer that inspires us all to become better poets. To use more heart...and to pen more soul.

[Sagar Waingankar]

Feelings never go old but do grow old! An insight of what it needs to worn is quite old! Nice write friend!

[A Risen Heroine.]

Beautiful poem, I really like it.
Well done my dear poet friend.

~A Risen Heroine~

[emmajoy]

Beautiful thoughts and not a one to be ignored; memories are what they are, treasure .. keep them in your dream chest, peep in every so often and smile, remembering.

'Can you escape the dances of long sweet kisses and yearning to touch
tender and warm flesh?' Should one want to if it makes you the person you've become .. ?

('wish' instead of 'wished' - but the poem is perfect coz you wrote it with your heart)

[I Shred This Cabbage]

like a sailor still waiting on a telegram from his one true love, hoping to find answers in the winter of life, or some small consolation. Very lovely :)

[Priyankaabhilaashi]

Fantastic show..!!!

like it..

[Ed Hart]

a heart singing its old songs makes the most splendid music

[Leigh]

I try not to correct anyone's mistakes as I make so many myself, a poem that will reach a lot of people, I can relate to this a lot, sadly as even more time passes we can't remember the colour of their eyes.