My siren

Sometime we need beauty and mystery to keep our hope alive.

                  





           














   My Siren

  The cold days of winter leave me longing and yearning for the hot days of summer.
 
  The winter days bring back the memory of our closure of our time together back to my bleeding heart.
 
  I been treading in the corridor of agony and bounded to want the elixir of your sweet kiss.
 
  In hallucinated dreams caused by too much tequila. I'm at your balcony. You come to me in your cotton white nightgown and seduced my soul  and mind with  your beautiful blue eyes. You drop your nightgown and show me your perfect body and open your arms bringing  me into your warm bed.  You put me under your sweet spell.
 
  Tantalizing long and passionate kisses lead us to the hunger and  into  the bliss of love.
 
  The twilight bring lovers entrenched in the fortune of youth and the hunger to dance in the sweet rendezvous of lust and passion.
 
  My surreal dream fall apart when the night fade into daybreak.  The trance of the tequila wear down and the promise of a Siren who titillated my life fades away to keepsakes and sweet memories savor in the manifest dreams of a old man.
 
  I sit by the sea and wait for the sun to rise. I feel the cold of Pacific ocean at my feet.
 
  The corridors of doors left behind crumble with time.
 
  Age taught me to hold my lover tighter. To serenade my lover with sweet music of thankfulness. To smooth lovers with  words of love and passion.
 
  The beautiful woman we hold and sacrifice our soul for. Are the memories that will pacify our heart when the cold of winter comes.
                        Coyote
                     January 19, 1989

Author's Note

A old poem. I hope you enjoy. Any mistakes. Please assist. Never too old to learn.

Reviews

[Warren L.G De Mills]

This was great. Honestly I'm not a big fan of the structure...or lack thereof though. Your request for corrections is necessary. There are mistakes:

"I been treading" should read "I HAVE been treading" or "I've been treading" (5)

This is the main error through out the poem, the inconsistency of your tenses. Some are past some are present. I think some work needs to be done on this. You are capable of better honestly. Although I did enjoy reading it and your language and imagery was good, there are some things that need to be fixed and reworked and I think you could do well with this if you edit it.

Oh and here's an idea that popped in my head, hoped you were gonna do this when i saw the first line but you didn't and I was like ":(" Contrast the longing for summer in winter, with a longing for winter in summer, which then leads you back to your memories. For instance "The cold winters days leave me longing for the warm embrace of the summer sun. The smothering embrace of the burning sun leaves me reminiscing on winter's delight. I fade through the memories of us together etc etc" Just an idea. Hope this helps!

[M.Babu]

"The beautiful woman we hold and sacrifice our soul for. Are the memories that will pacify our heart when the cold of winter comes."

This was my best line...you always manage to convey alot of emotion yet pour in a pint of wisdom...I think Poetic Beauty has summed that up well.

Nicely done.

~M.Babu~

[ecept]

kind of passionate really. Like what you have written. So many emotions to feel.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

This was pure beauty mixed with need and love that fills the reader with longing and need!

[KAREN]

Very passionate and romantic. Beuatiful words that flows and fills the readers heart with awe!

[Samantha ~virginpoet]

amazing as always and I agree with Poetic Beauty

[Ladysue]

so beautifully poetic with a ethereal feel. I agree with Poetic Beauty..you do have that glorious relaxed way of expressing your thoughts...absolutely stunning...

[Dark Beauty]

Wonderful expression that flowed all the way through this piece! Excellent job!!

[Kenneth The Poet]

This is a siren of a peace, the beautiful song of a story it tells is engrossing, imaginative, almost stark.

Beautiful, simply beautiful.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Wow that last line really hit me hard... oh how true... excellent work all the way through.

[Star Wolf]

This is awesome! Loves of the past can have a powerful grip on us today and into tomorrows as well. Very romantic with a tinge of sadness to it.