Sing and dance till the end

Old poem written when I was young and questions all things. I learn we are in-charge of our life. Best walk the good road. Written in 1981.

                       
              Sing and dance till the end

The rain is pouring down.
The dusk of the day had passed and gone.
I tossed the empty tequila bottle inside a open trashcan.
Austin, Texas is quiet.
I sat and waited for the coffee shops to open.
Better to be wet then drive drunk to Fort Hood..

I looked at the sky.
Prayed to God for answers to my questions.
The rain fell upon my face.
I saw a phone.

I went to the phone.
I dialed  the operator.
A young woman answered.
I told her "I wanted to speak to God?
I need the phone number to God?'"

The operator paused a second.
Spoke without much thought.
"God is unlisted. Only a friend can give God a call."

I told her.
"My call is important. I must hear his voice.
I must know he gives a damn."

The Operator spoke strongly.
" God phone number is unlisted. Give him a prayer.
He may be listening."

I told her.
" I prayed. He didn't listen.
I think he has forgotten us. I think he has left us."

The Operator with a stern voice .
"Maybe God is busy. You may get lucky. Keep praying."

I heard a clink.
The line is silence.
I walked the quiet streets of Austin in the rain.
A ringing sound appears in my head.
The sound whispered  sounds and voices.
"God is busy. He is drinking tequila with the Angels in Mexico.
He is saying it is too late for man.
Maybe it is a good day to die is singing in my head."
 
I went to downtown Austin.
I like the lights of the city.
Create a strange warmth.

I like the night people.
Few clean people roamed late at night.
You can buy love for a time. You can buy love for the night.

So many stories.
People confused and lost roaming the destine streets.
I asked a lone man standing in the darkness of a corner.
"Did he know the phone number to God?"

He told me.
"Unlisted, only for the pure and the innocent to know."
He give me a big smile. He whispered. "I heard he drinking tequila with
the Angels in Monterrey, Mexico. He is waiting for the end."
The man took my hand. With fear in his eyes he told me.
"A fine day to die."

I leave the man.
He reached in his coat and gave me a toast with his cheap whiskey.
He yelled at me.
"Don't look for God. You will find him and be disappointed."

I become more confused by the second.
I sat in the park by the Austin river.
The bright light of the city is surrounding me.
I stood on the park bench and I yelled.
"God, do you care?"

I looked down.
A  young woman is watching me.
She was young and her eyes were old.
She asked could she  sit with me.

I asked her.  "Why was she here with me."
She answered. "I came to Austin to find beauty and a better place.
I found only a dirty and a cold world. I see you have reach your end too.
Let sit together."

I brought her close to me on the bench. I held her tight. Her soft sad eyes
looked into my eyes. She told me. " You remind me of a lost love. He got
lost in the booze and drugs. He is gone now."

I looked into her brown eyes. I asked her." Does she know the phone number to God?
She looked at the ground and brought her face close to my face. She told me.
"God has left us a long time ago.  Man's deeds were too much for him. He killed off the sea and the sky. Man's killed his brothers without thought. He twisted-up religion to allow killing. He is in Mexico with the Angels. He is saying it is a good day to die."

I brought the young woman closer.
I felt the warmth of her body near. Her soft hands in my hands bring a spark
of hope for a second. Then I become cold again.

I closed my eyes.
I saw a number. I got up and told her. "I know God's phone number."

She smiled.
A smile of pity. She said nothing as I ran for then phone. I dialed the number.
The phone rings and a operator voice appeared.
"I'm sorry the line has been disconnected.  God has took a trip.
Don't leave no messages. He is in Monterrey, Mexico drinking
tequila at the Holiday Inn waiting for the end of time."
 
I fell down.
The phone is hanging. I looked up.
The young woman reached her hands out to me. Pulled me into her arms.
She caressed my face with tender and soft hands.

She told me. "I'm sorry you didn't get hold of God. I tried to find God many times.
I saw what you saw. I felt what you yearn for. God is busy. He is drinking tequila with the Angels at the Holiday Inn in Monterrey waiting for the end."

She kissed my hands and my lips. Told me. "I know I'm ugly with disappointment.
You are not so pretty any more. Let's trick God and the Devil. Let's sing and dance till the end of time. Let's pray the tequila run out and God will taste the bitterness of this world."

I returned the kiss to her. Told her. "Today we will drink and dance. Don't look like a good day to die today. The Devil has won the battle. We will celebrate this day. Sing and dance till the end. We will laugh and try to find some pleasure."

My brown eyes girl gave me a smile. I heard her laughter for the first time. We walked in the dawn of  Austin morning.

We stop by the Austin River. She told me. "I will walk into hell or heaven with my arms wide open. Come with me my sad man. Let's dance and sing till the end."

Two strangers walked into the city hand in hand. Sometime little hope is better then none.

                                  Coyote
                               1981
 

Author's Note

This was a bad time in a life. Young and trying to understand life. I have 15 books of poetry of questions during this time. Most of the question are still not answered. Any error. Please help.

Reviews

[Becky C Strukamp]

This poem speaks so loud and clear of how one may feel when disappointments, tragedies and such enter our life and we wonder why, why does God let this happen? Why why why. When our lives continue to spiral downward, we sometimes do think God is not listening, You penned this beautifully. I love the way you are trying to get God's number to no avail, you dont give up your journey, you continue, A truely amazing poem. I Loved it. Your imagery again, so vidid, lurring us along with you. Magnificent write.

[Susie Q]

Another good poem, Coyote. Whether we are young trying to understand life or older still trying to find an answer. Sometimes just putting our thoughts into words can help to bring about a sense of relief to heart and mind. My daughter, Christina May Shanaberg, will agree to that. Thanks for sharing this time in your life.

[Silent Serenity also kn..]

Amazing Coyote....I'm craving more actually......I could see this as a book, an adventure for so many to relate to! To ever get all your answers you know that will be impossible! I believe we need those types of questions as you explained to be able to constantly analyse our decisions in life! They always say God has a plan but we definitely don't have to agree with it or even understand it! Just continue to believe in yourself for you are what will be true! Kudos Coyote! Amazing poem! :)

[John Jackson (El Juero)]

Good advice, from a very good man. Thank you, John.

[Amber "Victoriomantic" ..]

Wonderful poem, great repetition, and you managed to maintain the flow which made it a story throughout. Not being religious myself, I may not be able to relate exactly, but the pain and confusion which one must go through when they feel they have lost their God or religious sustenance is very tangible within this piece. Well done.

[Kenneth The Poet]

One of your best, Coyote.

[Poetic Beauty]

this poem speaks of being sad and disappointed. I have found God shows up when you least expect it. He is there when the time is right, but we may not understand. I liked this poem for the it is a reality for many people. We hit those rock bottom moments and search and can't find Him when we think we need him. Then one day out of the clear blue he is there. I loved each line and word in this poem. He is in Mexico drinking with the angels.

[just rose.]

I would love to hear this as spoken word.

[Sunflower 20]

i really enjoyed the metaphor of God having a phone number that no one can find. this read to me like a sad dream, but it finds hope in the end. very well written :)

[Aidz]

A wonderful tale told Coyote, and yes I too was an angry young man, I chose a different path to ask those questions, didn't ask god, didn't believe in him/her, so I questioned those around me like you did, loudly.

Thanks for the opportunity to look into your past

[Tate Morgan]

I love poems that tell stories and though this doesnt have a rhyme scheme it does speak to me.We all search for meaning and for god