You have saved me

For the many people who gave me hope when I had none.

                   

    






















   You have saved me

I remember sitting alone. Holding two brothers photos.
Suicide was their escape from the cold and heartless world.

Two Ojibwa/Mexican boys who saw no road except death as peace.

I caressed my 30-30 rifle.
I didn't see any reason to keep going.
Their death laid heavy on my soul.

The phone  started to ring. I answered the call.

A old voice with kindness. My Grandmother begin to speak to me.
"We miss and love you baby. I want to see you. The family need you. Are you Ok? Grandma need her baby boy alive and strong."

I hung the phone up.
I put the 30-30 in the closet.
My Grandmother knew somehow I needed kind words. She saved me.














   















I was drinking myself to death.
I lost my first true love.
I saw no reason to give a s**t.

My friends were not helping in Germany.
Drinking was our peace.

My time in Germany was getting short.
I decided to say goodbye to my old lover.

I went to her.
I found her crying.

She yelled at me.
Told me he is dead. Are you happy?

I told her I knew nothing and I was sorry.
I held her for three days.

I brought her good whiskey and food.
Insured she was Ok.

She asked "Why was I  being kind to her?
I wasn't kind to you."

I kissed her forehead.
Silence was my answer.
I came to her for a goodbye.
I tried to save her.
Somehow I saved myself too.


Life is a fair journey. We must love and protect our family and friends.
Kindness bring kindness. Forgiveness need time and a lot of love.

We must be saved and we must return the kindness.

Laughter is life. We must hold on to it.
  
                         Coyote
                      March  2011

Author's Note

Any mistakes. Please advice. Never too old to learn. Life is hard. We will need many people to assist and love us.

Reviews

[emmajoy]

Mistakes don't matter when someone writes from the heart. To alter a poet or writer's words is like removing a freckle ..

What a wonderful tribute to those very precious people in your life.. This truly is more than sincere .. more than special. Thank you so much for sharing.

[Calypso]

I loved this poem because I can relate to it. My grandmother took me in when I was young. She's an amazing person and I love her dearly. I love this poem because I know how you feel. My grandmother is my life. I just hope she's proud of me.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

In the journey of life as we try to help someone we love we often find ourselves helping our on self in some way too! Very well written and touching!

[MichelleClay]

What a very sad and moving piece. It is so sad to loose people this way but your words are true that saving those left behind is sometimes the only way to save ourselves. I really loved that concept.

[just rose.]

Sad and beautiful and ultimately, triumphant.

[Kelsie Eileen Stark]

This is very powerful... your line "Laughter is life. We Must hold onto it." Outstanding, this moved me tremendously. Thank you much for sharing..

[LoneWolf]

I respected this more so than some of the other testimonies I've seen. You didn’t over glorify the pain and you didn’t allow yourself to become drunk with melancholy. Many people embrace despair and darkness neglecting the fact that every day brings new morning light. I think it’s admirable that you’ve come to a place of gratitude for life, in spite of the hardships. It’s painful to lose the ones we love, but a blessing to have had them for a season. Thanks for the write it was real.

[TamiViolet]

Your pieces guide us on this journey, Coyote... Your life has been a full one as I read more and more of you.... I enjoy the realistic photos, for they take me there.... Grandmothers, what a blessing indeed!!!

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This is amazing. I was deeply moved and inspired by your words.
I cant say enough about how great this poem is.

[Robin]

I do think once one realizes life is Hard and I mean HARD! it gets easier

another piece from your heart that lets us remind what is real and what is needed.

[jennifer]

I personally could say that this poem had me inspired to read on, I have fimilar family members who had the same problems as you talked about in the poem, so I hope you enjoy all the good reviews