You have saved me

For the many people who gave me hope when I had none.

                   

    






















   You have saved me

I remember sitting alone. Holding two brothers photos.
Suicide was their escape from the cold and heartless world.

Two Ojibwa/Mexican boys who saw no road except death as peace.

I caressed my 30-30 rifle.
I didn't see any reason to keep going.
Their death laid heavy on my soul.

The phone  started to ring. I answered the call.

A old voice with kindness. My Grandmother begin to speak to me.
"We miss and love you baby. I want to see you. The family need you. Are you Ok? Grandma need her baby boy alive and strong."

I hung the phone up.
I put the 30-30 in the closet.
My Grandmother knew somehow I needed kind words. She saved me.














   















I was drinking myself to death.
I lost my first true love.
I saw no reason to give a s**t.

My friends were not helping in Germany.
Drinking was our peace.

My time in Germany was getting short.
I decided to say goodbye to my old lover.

I went to her.
I found her crying.

She yelled at me.
Told me he is dead. Are you happy?

I told her I knew nothing and I was sorry.
I held her for three days.

I brought her good whiskey and food.
Insured she was Ok.

She asked "Why was I  being kind to her?
I wasn't kind to you."

I kissed her forehead.
Silence was my answer.
I came to her for a goodbye.
I tried to save her.
Somehow I saved myself too.


Life is a fair journey. We must love and protect our family and friends.
Kindness bring kindness. Forgiveness need time and a lot of love.

We must be saved and we must return the kindness.

Laughter is life. We must hold on to it.
  
                         Coyote
                      March  2011

Author's Note

Any mistakes. Please advice. Never too old to learn. Life is hard. We will need many people to assist and love us.

Reviews

[emmajoy]

Mistakes don't matter when someone writes from the heart. To alter a poet or writer's words is like removing a freckle ..

What a wonderful tribute to those very precious people in your life.. This truly is more than sincere .. more than special. Thank you so much for sharing.

[Kenneth The Poet]

This is a deeply personal poem, and an awesome one as well.

[Zoe Jay]

Wow, this really is a powerful piece. I see it more as a parable than a poem. It is absolutely beautiful and full of truth. Your writing is always uniquely moving and wise and poignant, Coyote. This story is an example to live by. Energy and consequences go around and around. They don't necessarily always reciprocate on the same person, but if your grandmother had not been there for you, you would not have been able to be there for someone else who needed you, and so the positive energy goes around. Very central to what I believe about the world and how we should live our lives. Absolutely beautiful :-)

[Kevin Horsley]

You are able to write really poignantly, there is always at least one message in what you write. In some cases messages overlap.
This is an astounding piece in what it delivers -
Despair, need, loss, love and hope all at once.

I really enjoyed this.

[a_mystery]

Awesome is the word that comes to my mind when I read your poems. You have depicted your respect to your grandmother and your first love. They have somehow saved you from taking harsh actions. It would have been better if you had included more people who have influenced you. But maybe those tow were most important. As a poem, I loved each and every line of it. Specially :
"We must be saved and we must return the kindness.

Laughter is life. We must hold on to it."

[Emunah June.]

Beautiful.

The road of self-salvation is tough, and most dont make it through alive. Most kill themselves or others along the way, which is why most dont walk it. But for those who walk in search of enlightenment and peace of mind, and make it, those are the people we need to look up to. Great work.~

[My Fair Lady]

Paying it forward... what a great thing. It's wonderful recognition when out of the blue.. someone unexpected comes forward and saves us.. but in the big scheme.. probably saving themselves.. I love this..

[Ruth]

This is amazing! Yes, the people that keep us going are never to be taken for granted! You have a good heart love! Hold that laughter and memories close, they can hide away all too quickly!
This is a fav of mine from you xx

[Eric Cox]

Our families can be unexpected help. This is a very moving piece. Nice pen on this!