You have saved me

For the many people who gave me hope when I had none.

                   

    






















   You have saved me

I remember sitting alone. Holding two brothers photos.
Suicide was their escape from the cold and heartless world.

Two Ojibwa/Mexican boys who saw no road except death as peace.

I caressed my 30-30 rifle.
I didn't see any reason to keep going.
Their death laid heavy on my soul.

The phone  started to ring. I answered the call.

A old voice with kindness. My Grandmother begin to speak to me.
"We miss and love you baby. I want to see you. The family need you. Are you Ok? Grandma need her baby boy alive and strong."

I hung the phone up.
I put the 30-30 in the closet.
My Grandmother knew somehow I needed kind words. She saved me.














   















I was drinking myself to death.
I lost my first true love.
I saw no reason to give a s**t.

My friends were not helping in Germany.
Drinking was our peace.

My time in Germany was getting short.
I decided to say goodbye to my old lover.

I went to her.
I found her crying.

She yelled at me.
Told me he is dead. Are you happy?

I told her I knew nothing and I was sorry.
I held her for three days.

I brought her good whiskey and food.
Insured she was Ok.

She asked "Why was I  being kind to her?
I wasn't kind to you."

I kissed her forehead.
Silence was my answer.
I came to her for a goodbye.
I tried to save her.
Somehow I saved myself too.


Life is a fair journey. We must love and protect our family and friends.
Kindness bring kindness. Forgiveness need time and a lot of love.

We must be saved and we must return the kindness.

Laughter is life. We must hold on to it.
  
                         Coyote
                      March  2011

Author's Note

Any mistakes. Please advice. Never too old to learn. Life is hard. We will need many people to assist and love us.

Reviews

[emmajoy]

Mistakes don't matter when someone writes from the heart. To alter a poet or writer's words is like removing a freckle ..

What a wonderful tribute to those very precious people in your life.. This truly is more than sincere .. more than special. Thank you so much for sharing.

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Life and laughter.. love and caring, sharing. As you have shared with us the story of being close to ending your life .. and your grandmother , a wise woman may have felt your pain across the miles. So glad she called.
Some loves are not meant to be forever, still the pain hurts all the same.
Wonderful, inspiring story.

Chloe

[Brad Baum]

We often give up on hope in times of darkness, refuse to see the light and even recognize its existence. But, as you illustrate, it is always there in some form. Quite an uplifting piece that you have written. I particularly like the line "We must be saved and we must return the kindness". That the passing of the hope does not stop with us. That we are to pay it forward, in some way. Thanks for sharing. Truly a great write.

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

One of the strongest poems I've read, that shows us there is always a little spark of hope when we believe all is lost. You are not only a good poet, you are a good friend and I am proud to know you.

[Tina Kline]

Yes, a little kindness and love can go a long way. I'm glad your grandma was there when you needed her. A wonderful write.

[The Analog Kid]

Isn't it amazing how a few words from your grandmother made a difference? You then learned and shared this with others and us. Thank you for a deeply emotional poem, Coyote!

[John Jackson (El Juero)]

Laughter is life. We must hold on to it.
Yes, absolutely. I have finally learned to laugh at myself, which in turn lightens my spirit. Your loving words are healing. I enjoy reading and learning...keeps my mind alive and happy.
Gracias...

[Jaweena...Eileen Quinta..]

elders are so wise! what a blessing to you to have someone who loved you and expressed it to you. It is those years of struggling and searching that will forever stay with you...the things that you learned from that life experience taught you things that no human could have! That is the way some of us have to learn.
Coyote my brother....I am so happy that you put that gun down. Thank you for telling/writing this. Love the photo!

[ShaneBerry]

these pictures help set the very seriouse and humbleing tone of this poem. this is very personal, something you are very good at doing Coyote. one life, 1 million battles. and here you present the outcome of those who have the strength to help others. your grandmother knew what she was doing :) in the big picture, if she had never made that call, you may have done the deed in your mind, and i honestly believe the world would be a much different place without people like you man. great, true write.

[trainwreck]

What is the picture at the end?
Anyway, this was a sweet and deep write. You craft lifetimes in your words. Lovely job!
Grammar mistake: its either OK or okay.

[Alexis]

"Laughter is life. We must hold on to it."
I really liked that line. It just really stood out to me.
One person can make such a large impact on another. It's amazing. I have a good friend, two actually, who have really changed my life; for the better that is. This was a very heartfelt poem and I thought it was very nicely written. Great write :)