The gray whale

A very hard story. Need good friends to give us reason to be alive.

                   
                      The gray whale
                      
                           (For leona. A missed friend.)

 


 


 








 Empty bottles of tequila and whiskey sitting on the floor. Unshaven man stared at a empty walls. He is sitting at a small table. On the table a 30/30 rifle lays next to the half empty bottle of tequila. The box of shells lay near on a shelf in reach.
  The man wrote in a journal.
"Promises made and broken.
Left forgotten in a shallow grave.
Waiting to rise up and choke the life out
of the remaining dreams."

The man went to the bathroom. He looked into the mirror. He told the reflection in the mirror to f**k off. He goes back to the 30/30 and begins to clean her for the thousandth time. A whisper appear in his head. "Life is sweet. Death is sweet. Life is s**t." He reached for one shell. He loaded the shell into the chamber. He wondered would anyone give a s**t if he was dead?

He heard a gentle knock at the door. He tried not to pay attention to the knocking. The knocking become louder.  He heard a voice. It is Leona. He gets up and goes to the door and open it. Leona hugged him. Asked him was he OK? She told him. "I had a dream you were dead." She walked into the apartment. She walked into the kitchen. She saw the bottle of tequila and whiskey bottles lined up like soldiers on the floor. She saw the 30/30 on the kitchen table. With tears falling from her eyes. She asked him."What the f**k are you thinking? Why is the rifle on the table? He answered "F**k off. Nothing is wrong".

She took the 30/30 off the table. She unloaded the one round. She is crying. She yelled at him. "You have a loaded 30/30 on the table. A half empty bottle of tequila. You never leave the house except for work and you greet me with a f**k off."

Leona called her work. Requested two weeks off. She called John's work and request two weeks off. She told them. A family problem. Need two weeks to sort out. He sat and watched her. He told her."Suicide is easy. Life is hard. If you chose death too soon. May miss the one sweet kiss. One more chance to see something beautiful." Leona wrapped her arms around him. Kissed his face. She asked. "What the f**k are you saying?" She took his hand and brought him to the bed. She held him like a baby.  Fearing he would leave her forever. They lay together in silence.

In the morning. Leona told him. "Time to go. You promise me to be able to see a whale traveling to Mexico. You promise to buy me a Irish coffee in Monterey."
The long drive was too quiet. He looked out the window. She held his hand tightly. She did a silence prayer of hope and a good ending.

She asked him. "Remember when you described seeing the whale traveling to Mexico. You told me you could almost touch the whale? He whispered. "Keep going west. Death don't like the feel of the mystic desert and the  breeze of the sea."

Leona told him. "Almost to Fort Ord. You promise me a strong Irish coffee on the pier. You told me we would dance and drink at the beach." He smiles and told her. "You remembered all my crazy promises. They seem so far away. Why do you want to be with a dead man?"

She didn't answer for a few minute. She whispered. "I need you my friend. I know you feel guilty for your brother's death. Jenny left you when you went crazy. When you needed her the most. But I stays with you. Even when you forgot my face and name."

They arrived in late evening in Monterey. The two friends, like old lover's held hands at the Irish Cafe. He ordered her a Irish coffee. She ask " Give me two weeks with you. We will find hope together." He looked away from her and whisper. "When you lived a bullshit life with fake goals and dreams. The walls will fall in. You will be left alone and empty for wasting a life. Sex, booze and woman can't make you feel complete. Dead babies haunt my dreams. Two dead brother's hanging themselves without a word to anyone. They told the world to f**k off in their way."

After many strong beers. They walked on the calm and lonely beach. She begin to sing. She make him dance by the light of the spring moon.
             " If I were the king of the forest.
              I would stop the hate and dumb s**t.
              Allow the kids to be kids."
He begin to sing.
            "  If I were the king of the forest.
              I would end the wars.
              If I was the king of the forest.
              The world wouldn't be a pile of s**t."
Leona wrapped her arms around him. He brought her closer. He whisper's. "Thank you kind lady for you." Gave her a long kiss.

The Holiday Inn was $200 a night. But you could see for 20 miles into the Pacific.
Leona stood in front of him in a small towel that drops to the floor. She smiles and asked."Anything you like?" He reached out and puts his head into her breast and held her.

In the morning. He buys two tickets for the whale watching cruise. Rarely do you see a whale. But the two hours into the sea in a small boat was the real  pleasure. The boat was rocking with the ocean. He held her close. She asked him."Promise me to live forever if we see a whale together." He kisses her neck and the her lips. He told her. I promise to live on and be thankful for you if we see a great whale.."

A half hour later. The Captain tells the guests. A whale to the left. A  large gray whales appears. It is so beautiful. He felt energy and life coming back to his tire mind and soul. He brought Leona closer. He whispered. "I love you my friend."  She smiles holding his hands tightly. They are within 50 yards  of the whale.

Leona closes her eyes. She does a silence prayer. She thanks the whales for their song. Their song told her to go and save a friend life in her dream.  She hear a whisper in the ocean breeze.

Love comes when it is given without the desire of the love to be returned.

                                Coyote
                              Dec. 2010

Author's Note

Finally a new story. Any mistake. Please assist. Never too old to learn.
Coyote

Reviews

[Mark]

Your words are like whiskey, they burn going in but after awhile they are friends and I've developed a taste for them. I know I sometimes send you corrections, but I don't know my friend, maybe you speak in a language that needs it's own rules. The way you write is raw and abrupt and completely honest. I wouldn't change it and I hope for more.

[Michael Jarrell]

I had a writing teacher once that always told me that killing off the character was the "easy" way out. I was beginning to think that you were going to do that... glad you didn't! :D I loved this piece. In fact, it got me to thinking about myself. Sometimes when I am feeling really depressed and wanting to "give up" I think "Let me spend all my money first, have some fun, and then die." But would I want to die once I have so much fun spending my money? Probably not. I know that's not the point of the poem, but it's what I connected with. :) Bravo!

[YouoweYoupay]

Amazing story. The cold detached emotions were very well described in the beginning I could feel the man's emptiness, not the loss though, I've never lost a loved one. You write so simply yet your words dive so deep into the heart.

Love comes when it is given without the desire of the love to be returned.

I just loved it. Thank you so much. Keep writing!

[Robert]

This is very good, although its very tough to write about suicide. Its a veryg ood love story

[E.H. Monroe]

I see love and grit in a horrifying and beautiful setting. The semi stream of consciousness style is enough to maintain any reader. As subtle as a f*****g bulldozer. Dreamy as sinner in a w***e house.

I salute you.
Gonna read it again.

[Nothing Personal]

Wonderful story. So engrossing and lively. How tables are turned, faith, love and hope is restored. There are minor grammar issues but it hardly hampers the narration and the pace..Such a delightful ending..Great job Coyote..Really loved this a lot

[Helen Woodward]

A beautiful story that captures the importance and place that true friendship has even in a love relationship. I like the relevance you place on the whale sighting it blends well into your plot, inspiring and symbolic of understanding.
I'm not sure I agree with you about love coming when a returned love is not expected, I guess when I love I do expect it to be returned...but I will think some more on that my friend. You are making me think! Always a good thing.
:-) Great effort!

[mir]

Fascinating story and very touching. Lucky, fortunate, and blessed is the person who finds this kind of a friend, lover, or anyone who will stick out the friendship through thick or thin, especially when a friend is needed the most in life. It's amazing what the spirits of someone who cares can do to a "down" person. Excellent write. Clearly understood, thanks for sharing this message.

[Tim Schulz]

I love the way the words sound together, ungrammatical, tense challenged as they sometimes are. This is to writing what Neil Young or Robert Quine are to the guitar... pushing words and language past their limitations to say what you need to say. At least, it works for ME that way.

[emmajoy]

This is a real story, not frillied up, not sanitised .. it's how it is and it's beautiful in the most tender way. Yes, you could correct grammar and spelling but forgive me, this is YOU telling YOUR story in your own special, precious way.

This is reality or could be so very easily; friendship is full of all-the-time love and home truths, without them it's mediocre.

[The Analog Kid]

Coyote,

Just a bit of editing mostly of the use of past tense vs present. What an inspiring write you have here brother. So nice that a friend steps in when help is "not wanted." Love the symbolism of the whale.