My sad friend. Please smile for me. Stay with me by the sea all night.
Your world has fell apart. You don't know right from wrong. Desperate acts had left you feeling dirty and insulated from everyone.
Please take my hand.
Walk with a man who swims in s**t most of his life.
Ain't no real Angels on this Earth. Only us struggling to make amends.
We all must do things we are ashamed of. World isn't clean anymore. Not enough helping hands.
Ain't no pity for the people in plight today. I know we get fatigue and humiliated to believing we are worthless and destitute.
Broken Angel. Please take my hand. Walk with a contaminated man. Jaded kisses and broken promises had left me empty. The not so sweet taste of life has turn me bitter.
The sad woman whisper. "I'm a dumping ground for men who want to use and abuse. I don't mean much to no-one."
I touch her face. I tell her. "We must ascend from the malingering hell. Leave the one's who want you to beg for mercy."
"Ain't no easy road. Sometime we must get up. Tell the world to back away."
"Find a better path to be on. Kinder and better people."
Please my broken Angel walk with me. Take my hand. The new day is rising from the East.
This is so amazingly powerful.. it is ragged, it is real and it is raw... When a man says it, like it is, it should come across as true... When a man is a poet, there should be no need to shout.. When a good man is a great poet, people listen and have no doubt... here is a good example that just goes to prove my point.... AGT's ...Neville
Posted 5 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
5 Years Ago
Thank you Neville. You are very kind to me my friend.
5 Years Ago
I dig your attitude, style and originality, always have my friend and true N
We've all met our share of wounded Angels, and isn't one of the most painful things to see? Someone with all this potential and beauty and yet crushed with the weight of the world.
Such a wonderful, deeply felt poem .. its words would have meaning however old or new.
So much of what you write is true, 'Ain't no pity for the people in plight today.~ I know we get fatigue and humiliated to~believing we are worthless and destitute.' Friend, empathy can cost too much, it means too many people sparing time from their own shallow worlds..
..and yes, the people who so often help are the ones who feel the same, who've gone through hell and are fighting to get out of it , 'Please my broken Angel walk with me.~Take my hand.~ The new day is rising from the East.'
You don't need help in this. You've conveyed such a tender, hopeful, imperfect image of new chances, and repentance. Awesome write. I congratulate you.
Instead of "Your world has fell apart" it would be better to write "Your world has fallen apart." The tenses match better. And "Desperate acts had left you feeling dirty and insulated from everyone" might be better if written like this "Desperate acts have left you feeling dirty and insulted from everyone." Also, "Jaded kisses and broken promises had left me empty" instead of using "had" the word "has" fits better and "The not so sweet taste of life has turn me bitter" instead of "turn" the word "turned" matches the past tense setting you have given. Same goes for this "The sad woman whisper" with the word "whisper," "whispered" fits your past tense.
I love this, even with how sad it is, because it speaks the truth. The world is no longer clean, no longer has sweet people who are innocent of the cruelties around us. Wonderful write. ^_^
i wouldn't change a thing
i like to see raw talent
expressed from the heart
it was genuine
and ironic
a broken angel
needing strength from a frail human
I really love the calming and sultry feeling of this. Its beautiful because even as everything is going wrong two people can turn to each other and find that tomorrow doesn't seem so far away, as long as someone you love is near you, with you and feels what you're feeling. This piece was gorgeous, thank you for sharing, I loved reading it. :)
-Cathrine
Lovely poem, with a great story within. Some of your phrasing is spot on and very well laid out. The only thing that struck me was should 'insulated' be 'isolated'? Maybe not now but it stuck out too much as 'insulated'. I also like the simplicity of the last line, it was a great touch
Broken Angel.
Please take my hand.
Walk with a contaminated man.
Jaded kisses and broken promises had
left me empty.
The not so sweet taste of life has turn me bitter.
Hauntingly beautiful, and old means little when you write with emotion and beauty, broken angels, many walk the earth.
A Poet and writer who love to read and write.
My pleasure is reading about the bad and good in a life.
Also to honor the Poets/Writers of the past by reading their words.
Remember .. more..