Dreaming of Scotland

For a sweet woman. I won't forget.

                       Dreaming of Scotland

She was as pretty as a picture.
Fate had brought her to me at a dark tavern in Germany.
Her raging brown eyes and
auburn hair across gentle and soft shoulders.
Her fragrance of flowers open my senses to her beauty.

Her Scottish accent made me wish to hear her sweet voice.

I was told to be kind to her.
Love was dead to me.
I was infected with rage and hate.

I tried to escape her beautiful face.
Drinking and trying to blind my hunger for happiness.
She found me at the tavern.

She wrapped her arms around me.
Kissed my neck, face and lips.
She whispered "Love is a powerful storm.
Please don't speak and allow us to love."

In the mist of softness and opening new doors to joy and bliss.
Sometime you forget to create a safety net to protect  yourself
 and your sweet love.

A warm Germany summer allow two people to fall into the mercy
of a sweet love. Swim in the gifts young hearts can understand .

Summer was ending.
My Scotland beauty was going home.

She told me of Scotland.
The beauty of the country and the good people.

I told her.
I wanted her forever.
I talked of marriage.

Love took my hand.
She whispered.
"We had a short time to stay together.
I allow you into my heart. Sometime words don't mean a lot.
Love never does died. It only falls  asleep till we can open the
door again."

She went home.
I got lost in the booze and liquor.
Allowed the deserved load of pain to overtake my kindness.

I still went to the small lake.
And I dream of Scotland.

                     Coyote
                     2010

Author's Note

A old story from 1979. If you see mistakes. I appreciate the help.

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I like the general write but the piece has tense issues which need to be resolved. It jumps from present to past tense and back like a cricket on a hot stove. You should pick one tense and try to stick to it throughout the verse. You should try also to avoid punctuating fragments but add them as coherent parts of sentences within the write. An example is this, "Her raging brown eyes." This is not a sentence but a fragment. Since a period ends a sentence it has no place at the end of a fragment, do you see? It would be better to say, "She had raging brown eyes and auburn hair across..." and make both those fragments one sentence.
The sentiments expressed are lovely but the form and structure of the write need work. "To write is human; to edit divine" Stephen King You have such a beautiful and natural gift for words and expressions and you have exceptional talent as a writer but it does not replace skill at a craft which requires it. Good writing is a craft, make no mistake. Tense and syntax and semantics may seem like boring considerations but they are tools. And if you've ever worked on anything you know that you can't do the job without the right tool. Writing is no different. So...familiarize yourself with the tools of your trade and you can become an expert craftsman and wordsmith easily with your already impressive natural talent for the job. Peace my friend, F.G.

[Sunflower/Sara Kendrick]

Good story..The feeling that the story is about opening doors to let love in and being hurt again.. Then in the end being able to move on and being able to look back and remember with warmth with a good ending..I do feel that you could rework it maybe even set it to a set form and it would seem to be a totally different work...I feel that you have a gift that you could definitely develop to a overflowing capacity...Sunflower...

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

a tale of a heart strung through dark and light very well told~ a poignant and beautifully illustrated framework of pain and hope and love and loss~ very well written and related~

[Ryan Falzon - Tymon]

Loved it. One of your greatest work.

[AlieahRose]

AMAZING...

[Poeticpiers]

Bitter sweet like most transient love affairs
Perhaps dreamt of scotland might scan better

[HorrorMaster]

Very good poem. It's super nice

[Dakota]

One of my favorites so far from you I think!

[KL]

"And I dreamt of Scotland" should be the last line.

Otherwise, very nice - listen to what Fabian is telling you about tenses. This is something that is very prevalant in your poetry. Another thing prevalant in your poetry, is your wisdom - you speak with a native chieftan's tone. Slow, and thoughtful, yet direct in ambiguous meaning.

[Ladysue]

Those special beautiful memories never leave us. You captured this so well with a wonderful flow and great imagery. Wonderfully done...

[Bette]

well done, i cant see any. great story