Dreaming of Scotland

For a sweet woman. I won't forget.

                       Dreaming of Scotland

She was as pretty as a picture.
Fate had brought her to me at a dark tavern in Germany.
Her raging brown eyes and
auburn hair across gentle and soft shoulders.
Her fragrance of flowers open my senses to her beauty.

Her Scottish accent made me wish to hear her sweet voice.

I was told to be kind to her.
Love was dead to me.
I was infected with rage and hate.

I tried to escape her beautiful face.
Drinking and trying to blind my hunger for happiness.
She found me at the tavern.

She wrapped her arms around me.
Kissed my neck, face and lips.
She whispered "Love is a powerful storm.
Please don't speak and allow us to love."

In the mist of softness and opening new doors to joy and bliss.
Sometime you forget to create a safety net to protect  yourself
 and your sweet love.

A warm Germany summer allow two people to fall into the mercy
of a sweet love. Swim in the gifts young hearts can understand .

Summer was ending.
My Scotland beauty was going home.

She told me of Scotland.
The beauty of the country and the good people.

I told her.
I wanted her forever.
I talked of marriage.

Love took my hand.
She whispered.
"We had a short time to stay together.
I allow you into my heart. Sometime words don't mean a lot.
Love never does died. It only falls  asleep till we can open the
door again."

She went home.
I got lost in the booze and liquor.
Allowed the deserved load of pain to overtake my kindness.

I still went to the small lake.
And I dream of Scotland.

                     Coyote
                     2010

Author's Note

A old story from 1979. If you see mistakes. I appreciate the help.

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I like the general write but the piece has tense issues which need to be resolved. It jumps from present to past tense and back like a cricket on a hot stove. You should pick one tense and try to stick to it throughout the verse. You should try also to avoid punctuating fragments but add them as coherent parts of sentences within the write. An example is this, "Her raging brown eyes." This is not a sentence but a fragment. Since a period ends a sentence it has no place at the end of a fragment, do you see? It would be better to say, "She had raging brown eyes and auburn hair across..." and make both those fragments one sentence.
The sentiments expressed are lovely but the form and structure of the write need work. "To write is human; to edit divine" Stephen King You have such a beautiful and natural gift for words and expressions and you have exceptional talent as a writer but it does not replace skill at a craft which requires it. Good writing is a craft, make no mistake. Tense and syntax and semantics may seem like boring considerations but they are tools. And if you've ever worked on anything you know that you can't do the job without the right tool. Writing is no different. So...familiarize yourself with the tools of your trade and you can become an expert craftsman and wordsmith easily with your already impressive natural talent for the job. Peace my friend, F.G.

[Broken Girl]

"LOVE IS A POWERFUL STORM". Indeed it is! This writing was lovely. You can not help but getting lost in the story, as if it were your very own... I wanna know more! LOL You should turn this one into a book!

[Angel Bird]

Scotland is so beautiful and mystical, yes I'm dreaming of Scotland too. With your words you evoke so many wonderful images, and one can feel the love and longing you felt back then for that woman in every letter. Heart-warming piece.

Other than that I totally agree with Fabian G. Franklin even though I myself have a piece that should be edited in a very other way, but I wouldn't change a thing in it. That's the way I felt it back then and that's the way it's gonna stay. So it's totally up to you if you leave it or change it.

[Allan Eddings]

It seems Scotland always enchants souls and heart, I wonder what it is about the moor and loch that can create men and women so full of entrapment?

I thoroughly enjoyed this piece, and apart from grammar which unlike some people I do not value much, the oeuvre of a piece means more to me, I would not change a thing.

A.E.

[Talkativeted]

I saw the title of this peom and was immediately intrigued as I often dream of scotland. It is a beautiful place one of which I love to visit. The poem is also beautiful.
Love never does died. It only falls asleep till we can open the
door again. I love this line. It is exactly how I feel about life.
A lovely poem that tells a story. Wonderful. Thankyou.

[Nansi London]

A beautiful piece of art that I enjoyed viewing. Isn't the heart a playfully optimistic thing? Indeed.

[JENY]

short term…love affairs…
Lingers in our mind for a long time…
Perhaps they never fade…
It is because the experience is incomplete….
It is such love affairs…
That inspire us more…
To write beautiful poems….
As you did….
Loved it very much….

[beautiful disaster]

"If you have never loved then you've never hurt" I line from a favorite artist of mine JB. Reality in its truth

[Marie Harrison]

"Love is a powerful storm.
Please don't speak and allow us to love." loved this quote! Spoken from a woman too. She knew how to walk away. This was a very clever and entertaining poem for me. Sounds like you had lots of fun in the military.

[Vonnie15]

"I talks of marriage"... just "talk of marriage"..... good write though:-) very wistful and melancholic and makes me miss the things gone past.....emotion is very real, well done

[Katie Louise Hughes]

I do appreciate how you use your personal experiences and turn it into beautiful poetry that tells a captivating story. I believe your heart shines in this piece, even though it ended somewhat unfortunate. You still have the hope in you- as you Dream of Scotland! Thanks for the write, and thanks again for all the reviews you have given me. :D