Dreaming of Scotland

For a sweet woman. I won't forget.

                       Dreaming of Scotland

She was as pretty as a picture.
Fate had brought her to me at a dark tavern in Germany.
Her raging brown eyes and
auburn hair across gentle and soft shoulders.
Her fragrance of flowers open my senses to her beauty.

Her Scottish accent made me wish to hear her sweet voice.

I was told to be kind to her.
Love was dead to me.
I was infected with rage and hate.

I tried to escape her beautiful face.
Drinking and trying to blind my hunger for happiness.
She found me at the tavern.

She wrapped her arms around me.
Kissed my neck, face and lips.
She whispered "Love is a powerful storm.
Please don't speak and allow us to love."

In the mist of softness and opening new doors to joy and bliss.
Sometime you forget to create a safety net to protect  yourself
 and your sweet love.

A warm Germany summer allow two people to fall into the mercy
of a sweet love. Swim in the gifts young hearts can understand .

Summer was ending.
My Scotland beauty was going home.

She told me of Scotland.
The beauty of the country and the good people.

I told her.
I wanted her forever.
I talked of marriage.

Love took my hand.
She whispered.
"We had a short time to stay together.
I allow you into my heart. Sometime words don't mean a lot.
Love never does died. It only falls  asleep till we can open the
door again."

She went home.
I got lost in the booze and liquor.
Allowed the deserved load of pain to overtake my kindness.

I still went to the small lake.
And I dream of Scotland.

                     Coyote
                     2010

Author's Note

A old story from 1979. If you see mistakes. I appreciate the help.

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I like the general write but the piece has tense issues which need to be resolved. It jumps from present to past tense and back like a cricket on a hot stove. You should pick one tense and try to stick to it throughout the verse. You should try also to avoid punctuating fragments but add them as coherent parts of sentences within the write. An example is this, "Her raging brown eyes." This is not a sentence but a fragment. Since a period ends a sentence it has no place at the end of a fragment, do you see? It would be better to say, "She had raging brown eyes and auburn hair across..." and make both those fragments one sentence.
The sentiments expressed are lovely but the form and structure of the write need work. "To write is human; to edit divine" Stephen King You have such a beautiful and natural gift for words and expressions and you have exceptional talent as a writer but it does not replace skill at a craft which requires it. Good writing is a craft, make no mistake. Tense and syntax and semantics may seem like boring considerations but they are tools. And if you've ever worked on anything you know that you can't do the job without the right tool. Writing is no different. So...familiarize yourself with the tools of your trade and you can become an expert craftsman and wordsmith easily with your already impressive natural talent for the job. Peace my friend, F.G.

[joshua deathdealer]

Its a well rounded write. I like the emotional imagery and depth. Nicely done.

[Sukriti Suki]

I really liked this piece....the flow, the depth, the want, the love all overflowing...Thanks for sharing...this piece touched the soul.

[OT]

nice job - i love this idea - "he whispered "Love is a powerful storm.
Please don't speak and allow us to love." - and other thoughts you jot throughout, a writers-write - descriptions, though never losing sight of the story!! nice!

[emmajoy]

So much pain, so many memories: ' Love never does die. It only falls asleep till we can open the ~ door again."

Your writing always strikes me as being sincere, real -rather than contrived for effect. So many folk write and post for self-promotion, consequently their words become artificial after a while .. whereas you write from personal experience and the happiness or sadness shines out.

[karmax]

A Beautiful story penned. Love never dies, until we open the door again, thus being very true. We need to allow ourselves to love , and love again. You captivate the reader ( I ) well with imagery. Nice flow as well. I like how you jump back and forth between then and now...great penning :)

[ImagineItAll]

BEAUTIFUL wording. Totally captivating and genuine. I was very moved by the entire story, but the line: "Love never does die. It only falls asleep till we can open the
door again." stood out the most to me. So very well done.

[SilentScreaming]

This is a great peice. It holds alot of love and sadness. And is it weird that as i began reading this i heard bagpipes playing from in my livingroom?
Truly beautiful write. Well done.

[cfix]

there is sadness in this as well as it being beautiful. I didn't see any mistakes then again I really wasn't looking for them.

[The Analog Kid]

Still as good as before!