Dreaming of Scotland

For a sweet woman. I won't forget.

                       Dreaming of Scotland

She was as pretty as a picture.
Fate had brought her to me at a dark tavern in Germany.
Her raging brown eyes and
auburn hair across gentle and soft shoulders.
Her fragrance of flowers open my senses to her beauty.

Her Scottish accent made me wish to hear her sweet voice.

I was told to be kind to her.
Love was dead to me.
I was infected with rage and hate.

I tried to escape her beautiful face.
Drinking and trying to blind my hunger for happiness.
She found me at the tavern.

She wrapped her arms around me.
Kissed my neck, face and lips.
She whispered "Love is a powerful storm.
Please don't speak and allow us to love."

In the mist of softness and opening new doors to joy and bliss.
Sometime you forget to create a safety net to protect  yourself
 and your sweet love.

A warm Germany summer allow two people to fall into the mercy
of a sweet love. Swim in the gifts young hearts can understand .

Summer was ending.
My Scotland beauty was going home.

She told me of Scotland.
The beauty of the country and the good people.

I told her.
I wanted her forever.
I talked of marriage.

Love took my hand.
She whispered.
"We had a short time to stay together.
I allow you into my heart. Sometime words don't mean a lot.
Love never does died. It only falls  asleep till we can open the
door again."

She went home.
I got lost in the booze and liquor.
Allowed the deserved load of pain to overtake my kindness.

I still went to the small lake.
And I dream of Scotland.

                     Coyote
                     2010

Author's Note

A old story from 1979. If you see mistakes. I appreciate the help.

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I like the general write but the piece has tense issues which need to be resolved. It jumps from present to past tense and back like a cricket on a hot stove. You should pick one tense and try to stick to it throughout the verse. You should try also to avoid punctuating fragments but add them as coherent parts of sentences within the write. An example is this, "Her raging brown eyes." This is not a sentence but a fragment. Since a period ends a sentence it has no place at the end of a fragment, do you see? It would be better to say, "She had raging brown eyes and auburn hair across..." and make both those fragments one sentence.
The sentiments expressed are lovely but the form and structure of the write need work. "To write is human; to edit divine" Stephen King You have such a beautiful and natural gift for words and expressions and you have exceptional talent as a writer but it does not replace skill at a craft which requires it. Good writing is a craft, make no mistake. Tense and syntax and semantics may seem like boring considerations but they are tools. And if you've ever worked on anything you know that you can't do the job without the right tool. Writing is no different. So...familiarize yourself with the tools of your trade and you can become an expert craftsman and wordsmith easily with your already impressive natural talent for the job. Peace my friend, F.G.

[Pratik]

Its very differently written, not like the other love poems... very direct, without beating about the bush I must say and that brings out the passion it meant to portray.. I liked it a lot .. :)

[sarah]

This is a really great and very interesting I really enjoyed the way this was written and the emotions that come with it. Great write!

[J.V. Stanley]

I allow you into my heart. Sometime words don't mean a lot.
Love never does die. It only falls asleep till we can open the
door again."

Beautiful work here and the above lines really stuck out in my mind. Sometimes as hopeless as love can be, the heartbreak that follows, the disappointment and as much as we try desperately within that time not to love or simply avoid it, it always has a way of waking up inside us unexpectedly. Well penned.

[Grace Elizabeth Fleming]

I do not agree with Fabian that the sentence fragments need correcting. This is a poem after all. I think your use of fragmented sentences to separate thoughts is lovely. It's like looking at fragments of memory. If anything, as a poem, I wish some of the sentences were shorter so that the meter would flow better. That said, great job. This is a bitter sweet vignette into a brief, but powerful romance.

[Coinneach MacAnraoi]

Good poem. Being of Scottish heritage, I always appreciate a nice reminder of my roots.

[Judas Hammer]

awesome piece. I really wish I could have proof read I was too caught up in the work. You really have an original touch to your work. I enjoyed this one as well.

[Linear]

Oh I feel the heartache written so eloquently by your pen, love never dies, but lies inside you like a burning ember never quenched

Excellent heartfelt poetry

[Becky C Strukamp]

What a beautifully written love story. I loved it. It warmed my heart, and I smiled as it brought back to me days of memories. Thanks Coyote. Eloquently penned!!

[Omar Fendri]

this is refreshingly simple and as Ralph Waldo Emerson said 'Nothing is more simple than greatness; indeed, to be simple is to be great. '. This poem's deeply touching and the story you try to paint through those well-written words is an enjoyment. I cherish the description in the first stanza.
'She whispered 'Love is a powerful storm.
Please don't speak and allow us to love.' ' Perfect !

[Butterfly Ninja :3]

It was very pretty
My favorite lines were

I still went to a small lake
And I dream of scottland