Dreaming of Scotland

For a sweet woman. I won't forget.

                       Dreaming of Scotland

She was as pretty as a picture.
Fate had brought her to me at a dark tavern in Germany.
Her raging brown eyes and
auburn hair across gentle and soft shoulders.
Her fragrance of flowers open my senses to her beauty.

Her Scottish accent made me wish to hear her sweet voice.

I was told to be kind to her.
Love was dead to me.
I was infected with rage and hate.

I tried to escape her beautiful face.
Drinking and trying to blind my hunger for happiness.
She found me at the tavern.

She wrapped her arms around me.
Kissed my neck, face and lips.
She whispered "Love is a powerful storm.
Please don't speak and allow us to love."

In the mist of softness and opening new doors to joy and bliss.
Sometime you forget to create a safety net to protect  yourself
 and your sweet love.

A warm Germany summer allow two people to fall into the mercy
of a sweet love. Swim in the gifts young hearts can understand .

Summer was ending.
My Scotland beauty was going home.

She told me of Scotland.
The beauty of the country and the good people.

I told her.
I wanted her forever.
I talked of marriage.

Love took my hand.
She whispered.
"We had a short time to stay together.
I allow you into my heart. Sometime words don't mean a lot.
Love never does died. It only falls  asleep till we can open the
door again."

She went home.
I got lost in the booze and liquor.
Allowed the deserved load of pain to overtake my kindness.

I still went to the small lake.
And I dream of Scotland.

                     Coyote
                     2010

Author's Note

A old story from 1979. If you see mistakes. I appreciate the help.

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I like the general write but the piece has tense issues which need to be resolved. It jumps from present to past tense and back like a cricket on a hot stove. You should pick one tense and try to stick to it throughout the verse. You should try also to avoid punctuating fragments but add them as coherent parts of sentences within the write. An example is this, "Her raging brown eyes." This is not a sentence but a fragment. Since a period ends a sentence it has no place at the end of a fragment, do you see? It would be better to say, "She had raging brown eyes and auburn hair across..." and make both those fragments one sentence.
The sentiments expressed are lovely but the form and structure of the write need work. "To write is human; to edit divine" Stephen King You have such a beautiful and natural gift for words and expressions and you have exceptional talent as a writer but it does not replace skill at a craft which requires it. Good writing is a craft, make no mistake. Tense and syntax and semantics may seem like boring considerations but they are tools. And if you've ever worked on anything you know that you can't do the job without the right tool. Writing is no different. So...familiarize yourself with the tools of your trade and you can become an expert craftsman and wordsmith easily with your already impressive natural talent for the job. Peace my friend, F.G.

[Wicahpi]

I'm so glad in the midst of serving our country, amongst it's
harshness, that you've experienced glory and sunshine in many
different forms. I hope that for my son, too, as he serves.

As always, I delight in the pureness of your past adventures.

[deeps]

This is a beautiful story here. I like this.

[Dinesh Sairam]

"Her fragrant of flowers open my senses to her beauty"

It should be 'Fragrance of flowers..' :)

"Swim in the gifts young heart can understand only"

Very truly said. But the 'understand' part turns into a great irony in the dying stages of youth, I guess :O

"Sometime words don't mean a lot.
Love never does die. It only falls asleep till we can open the
door again."

Woah, your words are so very straight to the point and yet maintain the flow. Yeah, love never dies. It is hidden there in the back of your sub-conscious mind.

Oh, and 'Liqueur' is a type of 'Liquor' :) So it's indeed the right usage.

The last line should be 'And I dream of Scotland' or 'My dreams of Scotland' (But I recommend the former).

A very good write :) Thanks for sharing :)

Keep writing.

[Ed Hart]

oh, the things we have to survive to learn kindness

[Laura]

This was a very beautiful story that you told in the poem. The imagery created a movie in my head, and I was sinking into the story, feeling every emotion that you were describing. And, about the word "liqueur", you did spell it correctly, unless you were going for "Liquor", because there is a difference between the two, but your spelling was correct. I saw some reviews under mine that were asking about the word.
So anyway, the poem is beautiful, you have so much talent in getting people to feel through your writing. Wonderful job : )

Liquor? I always thought that was the correct spelling. I'm not too sure right now, though.
I just want to say that this was a poem that made me want to fall in love. It was a tragic ending, but isn't everything? Tragic, I mean. Look at Romeo and Juliet or if you want to be even more open-minded, just look at life. Life ends with death, and death is a tragic ending. I'm rabbling, but that might be because I'm very, very tired haha
I loved the poem, and I didn't catch the mistakes, because I was either drowning in the story... or I'm just that tired hahah 100/100

[nono]

I'm not sure but i think you spelled liqueur wrong. But I don't know cause it's not a word i spell to often. But i like the poem very much. Interesting ways how the woman was.

[profile deleted]

I talk of marriage instead of talks is the only mistake i see, except for a couple double spaces This is beautiful!

[Leanne Conway]

It's beautiful. =)