Dreaming of Scotland

For a sweet woman. I won't forget.

                       Dreaming of Scotland

She was as pretty as a picture.
Fate had brought her to me at a dark tavern in Germany.
Her raging brown eyes and
auburn hair across gentle and soft shoulders.
Her fragrance of flowers open my senses to her beauty.

Her Scottish accent made me wish to hear her sweet voice.

I was told to be kind to her.
Love was dead to me.
I was infected with rage and hate.

I tried to escape her beautiful face.
Drinking and trying to blind my hunger for happiness.
She found me at the tavern.

She wrapped her arms around me.
Kissed my neck, face and lips.
She whispered "Love is a powerful storm.
Please don't speak and allow us to love."

In the mist of softness and opening new doors to joy and bliss.
Sometime you forget to create a safety net to protect  yourself
 and your sweet love.

A warm Germany summer allow two people to fall into the mercy
of a sweet love. Swim in the gifts young hearts can understand .

Summer was ending.
My Scotland beauty was going home.

She told me of Scotland.
The beauty of the country and the good people.

I told her.
I wanted her forever.
I talked of marriage.

Love took my hand.
She whispered.
"We had a short time to stay together.
I allow you into my heart. Sometime words don't mean a lot.
Love never does died. It only falls  asleep till we can open the
door again."

She went home.
I got lost in the booze and liquor.
Allowed the deserved load of pain to overtake my kindness.

I still went to the small lake.
And I dream of Scotland.

                     Coyote
                     2010

Author's Note

A old story from 1979. If you see mistakes. I appreciate the help.

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I like the general write but the piece has tense issues which need to be resolved. It jumps from present to past tense and back like a cricket on a hot stove. You should pick one tense and try to stick to it throughout the verse. You should try also to avoid punctuating fragments but add them as coherent parts of sentences within the write. An example is this, "Her raging brown eyes." This is not a sentence but a fragment. Since a period ends a sentence it has no place at the end of a fragment, do you see? It would be better to say, "She had raging brown eyes and auburn hair across..." and make both those fragments one sentence.
The sentiments expressed are lovely but the form and structure of the write need work. "To write is human; to edit divine" Stephen King You have such a beautiful and natural gift for words and expressions and you have exceptional talent as a writer but it does not replace skill at a craft which requires it. Good writing is a craft, make no mistake. Tense and syntax and semantics may seem like boring considerations but they are tools. And if you've ever worked on anything you know that you can't do the job without the right tool. Writing is no different. So...familiarize yourself with the tools of your trade and you can become an expert craftsman and wordsmith easily with your already impressive natural talent for the job. Peace my friend, F.G.

[Sonali]

the first line reminded me of a poem Highland Lass,it mentions the beauty of a scottish woman.told a great story but seems u were jumbled up while writing it.

[KatiePie]

This is a gorgeous write, about how no matter what memories, and love stay in our hearts, our souls forever. I really enjoyed reading this and you use such perfect imagery it opens my mind. Great job! ^_^
-Cathrine

[Shalini Dinesh]

beautiful memories stay fresh forever in our mind like it was yesterday, nice poem...

[?]

In the mist of softness and opening new doors to joy and bliss.
Sometime you forget to create a safety net to protect yourself
and your sweet love.

Maybe true, but I believe that sometimes we should just let go and let happen what will happen, and if we or someone gets hurt, well it is in the hurt times that we grow.

Love never does die. It only falls asleep till we can open the
door again."

That is the most beautiful line.
Have only seen one other man in my life time that is as sentive as that and you. Never loose that.
Great story.

[Liza]

this line really penetrated my every sense of being
"Love never does die. It only falls asleep till we can open the
door again."
i admire the way you have dates on i think most of your expressions
I also like how you take me on trips to different parts of the world in your writing
how have times changed...you meet a girl at a bar in 2010 and talk about marriage..its not so romantic...
this flowed nicely and i didn't catch any mistakes.

[.]

and a good story you tell, you have created strong imagery. well written

[Haifa]

It is so nice and sweet poem, sure I like your poem but theres a line which I like for most is
Love never does die. It only falls asleep till we can open the
door again."
Some people thought love dies but I believe love whatever the kinds of love, its forever. Well done

[Aleah]

awwwwws that sounds so sweet and sad

[Iota]

I like how he was resistant to love but love still found a way. If only for a short time it did open the door then and for the future. It is amazing when one person can have an affect on us that lasts a lifetime. I see a lesson in this poem, we are often closed off to love and when we are we only get a glimpse of it or we get to hold it for a short time. Excellent write my friend.