She was a diamond

We need to be thankful when we hold something precious in our hands.

She was a  Diamond
 
                               20 Nov. 1994
 
The drunk man toasts to better days.
We touched shot glasses.
I asked him.
Did he ever see a woman who shone like a diamond?
So bright  with hope and love.
She can bring you out of this hell?
My drunk friend just turns away.
 
I wander to a safe and quiet corner.
I remember her blue eyes.
Clear as a mountain stream.
Her flowing auburn hair.
Her beautiful smile that still can bring a smile back to me.
 
She was a baby in living.
I was soil with hate and disappointment.
Today I wonder why she came to me?
 
In a dark corner of a dancing Bar in Austin, Texas.
She came to me with a sweet smile.
She asks me.  Could I two-step a-bit?.
I told her I do my best.
 
She talks my ears off.
I listen to her beautiful voice.
She was full of dreams and hope.
We became friends.
 
She taught me laughter.
Taught me to hope and dreams again.
She was a diamond in a life.
Brought me out of my self made hell.
 
I may of taught her to view the world with different eyes.
She stood her ground.
Held on to her dreams.
She is something today.
Educated and helping people.
 
I wish to stand at a distance.
Her life loaded with real problems now.
 
I have hope.
A few dreams.
Maybe one day I will look into those blue eyes.
Thank her for her kindness and love.
 
Women are the reasons for good men to hold on to dreams.
 
I'm thankful.
I held a diamond in my hand.
Her hope and love overtook my heart.
                        
                                  Coyote
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Author's Note

A old poem when I was roaming Texas. Any mistakes. I would appreciate the help. A wise man is thankful for the assistance of others.

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I quite liked this one...it was a story within a poem, and I truly loved the sentiment. We often don't know what we have had until we have let it slip through our fingers...then we write about it. Such is the life of a poet i suppose. You have crafted this with stark and gritty imagery that I truly appreciated. Well done.

[StacyPerry]

I can relate to this in a few ways with people I care about and know. Very good write.

[HorrorMaster]

Very good, awesome poem of this. Very powerful

[Star Wolf]

A very tender and loving memory. Its nice to know some people appreciate those who have touched their lives in such a special way.

[Francez]

A beautiful story. We always have those people that have strongly influenced our lives, and they're indeed precious like diamonds.

About the technical aspects:
- You should stick to one tense in your poem, either past or present. For example, if you choose for past, the first line has to read 'The drunk man toasted to better days.'
- I'd suggest changing the line 'She taught me laughter' to 'She taught me to laugh' or 'She taught me how to laugh'. This would flow better with the second line 'Taught me to hope and dreams again.'
- I'd also suggest changing the line 'She was a diamond in a life' to 'She was a diamond in my life' to make the line stronger.
- I think the line 'I may of taught her to view the world with different eyes.' should read ''I may have taught her to view the world with different eyes.'

Overall, good writing! Keep it up!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Woman are the reasons for good men to hold on to dreams.

I couldn't agree more... some people in our lives are meant to stay briefly or even at arms length... it's what they do in the time they are there that is important... maybe one day you will be here angel too.

[Soul Magic✯]

"She taught me laughter.
Taught me to hope and dreams again.
She was a diamond in a life.
Brought me out of my self made hell." a woman like that is definitely priceless. this is a stunning piece... i enjoyed reading this one. thanks for sharing bro

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Full of raw emotion and quite beautiful. I would advise trying to maintain a singular tense throughout the piece. This starts out in present and the next line is past. I would make it all either present or past. I hope that helps. It was a pleasure to read...very nice content!

[Lena M. P.]

You have been blessed to have found so many interesting souls along the road of life. Another good person that you have given a well written tribute to.

[Daniel Gardner]

This is a very loving poem. Its nice that you have travelled and seen so much that you can use it to inspire your writing. The only thing that kinda threw me of was "Her beautiful smile that still can bring a smile back to me." I am not sure why this just seems a little choppy to me and makes me feel that you meant something else. I think you could use another way to write it so that "smile" is only used once in this line. Over all though I really liked it. Great job as always.

[Gomer LePoet]

Geez Coyote. Im a tuff guy and you're trying to make me cry. this is a great piece by you. those diamonds are rare, but they are out there. you should go tell her and be her friend, if she really meant that much to you.