She was a diamond

We need to be thankful when we hold something precious in our hands.

She was a  Diamond
 
                               20 Nov. 1994
 
The drunk man toasts to better days.
We touched shot glasses.
I asked him.
Did he ever see a woman who shone like a diamond?
So bright  with hope and love.
She can bring you out of this hell?
My drunk friend just turns away.
 
I wander to a safe and quiet corner.
I remember her blue eyes.
Clear as a mountain stream.
Her flowing auburn hair.
Her beautiful smile that still can bring a smile back to me.
 
She was a baby in living.
I was soil with hate and disappointment.
Today I wonder why she came to me?
 
In a dark corner of a dancing Bar in Austin, Texas.
She came to me with a sweet smile.
She asks me.  Could I two-step a-bit?.
I told her I do my best.
 
She talks my ears off.
I listen to her beautiful voice.
She was full of dreams and hope.
We became friends.
 
She taught me laughter.
Taught me to hope and dreams again.
She was a diamond in a life.
Brought me out of my self made hell.
 
I may of taught her to view the world with different eyes.
She stood her ground.
Held on to her dreams.
She is something today.
Educated and helping people.
 
I wish to stand at a distance.
Her life loaded with real problems now.
 
I have hope.
A few dreams.
Maybe one day I will look into those blue eyes.
Thank her for her kindness and love.
 
Women are the reasons for good men to hold on to dreams.
 
I'm thankful.
I held a diamond in my hand.
Her hope and love overtook my heart.
                        
                                  Coyote
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Author's Note

A old poem when I was roaming Texas. Any mistakes. I would appreciate the help. A wise man is thankful for the assistance of others.

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I quite liked this one...it was a story within a poem, and I truly loved the sentiment. We often don't know what we have had until we have let it slip through our fingers...then we write about it. Such is the life of a poet i suppose. You have crafted this with stark and gritty imagery that I truly appreciated. Well done.

[J.M. Barrett]

Very sweet. I liked this a lot.
I enjoyed how the poem was told almost in a story-telling sort of format.

"The drunk man toasts to better days.
We touched shot glasses.
I asked him.
Did he ever see a woman who shined like a diamond?
So bright with hope and love.
She can bring you out of this hell?
My drunk friend just turns away."

Great introduction to this narrative.

"I held a diamond in my hand."
This really completed the piece.

May I make a suggestion.
I think it would be very effective if you switched the last two lines.
So that it reads:

I'm thankful.
Her hope and love overtook my heart.
I held a diamond in my hand.

I liked that line so much that I think it would be great to finish the poem with it. :] Just a suggestion though.

I also liked:
"Women are the reasons for good men to hold on to dreams."
It made me feel that women are precious beings to you.

[Elizabeth]

"Women are the reasons for good men to hold on to dreams."

All of the men in my life (my father and brother in particular) have completely soiled my view of men in general. But I think your piece just gave me a glimmer of hope. The way you describe the woman is enchanting. I'm glad she blessed you with happiness. :)

[*Always be Me:)*]

Nice poem. I like it Good Job :)

[Ranjan Biswas]

A really lovely poem, I love it. Keep up the good work.

[Helen Crutchett]

We all need that special "diamond" in our life. One who comes to us unexpectedly and leaves their heartprint on ours forever. Thanks for sharing this beautiful poem.

[NeverSurrender]

Nice poem you've got here. I love that you compare a woman to a diamond and just all the love in this piece.
"Taught me to hope and dreams again." and "I may of taught her to view the world with different eyes." sound a little weird though..
And I think that "Woman are the reasons" should be "Women are the reason".

But other than those few things (we all have them.. :P) I thought this was really good.
I really really like the line "I held a diamond in my hand". Makes the poem complete for me.

Great job

N.S.

[Dakota]

Woman are the reasons for good men to hold on to dreams.

You definately have a way with words!

[The Water Queen]

I love the attention to a woman and how you compare her to a diamond. This is simply beautiful and visualy great. I love the emotions and the philophosy of this. Great write and I know I probably spelled a word wrong.

[harman kour]

its a beautiful write Very touching :)

This is gorgeous. I love saving that word 'gorgeous' for poems I truly love. Wow. Just amazing. It felt as if you actually knew a girl with auburn hair and blue eyes, that happened to change your life. Keep up that fantastic work.