If I knew.

We learn too late to be quiet. Anger and violence leads only to more pain and sadness.

  If I knew
 
 If I knew.
 I would of  loved more and said less.
 
Sweet memories slip into my mind of us.
Two people loving and holding tight like it was our last moment.
 
I remember walking  hand in  hand with you.
On lonely beaches.
Never more happy.
 
 The sweet times are rare now.
 
 Eyes of youth had faded away with life burdens and losses.
 
 I look into the mirror and see a tire man.
 
 I wish to go back and feel again.
 To hunger for sweet  kisses and love til the morning light.
 
Walk down the naked beaches of Monterey coast.
In a mist of silence with a gentle hand in mine. 
 
 I didn't know laughter and dreams would fade away.
 
 If I knew I would of try to stop time.
 
 Hold you like you were my last breath.
 
                          John Castellenas
                            Coyote

Author's Note

Life is long and hard. My Grandfather told me along time ago. Nothing good to say. Say nothing. I tell my children the same.
Coyote

Reviews

[Nautili]

I love the vulnerability of this poem, you speak of naked beaches, and metaphorically your soul is naked in this poem. You admit you are tired, jaded, uninspired. I love when people are just real.
And you want to fix it, to change it, to feel the vitality of the relationship once again. You are not content to just let the passion dissolve into nothingness. Such an honest work.

[Ophielia Nyx]

its hard to hold the tongue.
I think we ruin our own happiness.
I really love the genuine-ness in your writing
I can feel what you describe and it is a great and terrible beauty

my appreciations, -Ophielia Nyx

[H]

I really like this "If I knew I would try to stop time. hold you like you were my last breath." Those last lines are the most powerful to me. Like holding on to youth before the hand of time steals our breath away. Its frightening and lonely but I am intrigued.

[BrightEyes]

How many things would we have done differently "if we knew"? Life is unknown though. We do the best we can in each moment and sometimes we get it right, sometimes we do not. Just as this piece expresses the feeling that some of that time together was wasted, one must not waste the present moment on such regrets. Else it could well become a vicious circle.

[Tina Kline]

An excellent write and very well said. This is a wonderful piece of wisdom we learn too late, it seems. I really enjoyed reading this.

[Arthur Crow]

Certainly a very moving and well expressed scribe.. the imagery was vivid and wonderful to behold. This is the second of yours I have read and I'm most respecful of your talent. Rich and deep!

[deeps]

I really enjoyed this write. It so truthful as well. This is well stated here.

[Leaner Pastures]

"If I knew I would of try to stop time."

I can almost feel the joyful regret in this line. Helps that it hits close to my current existence. I'll be pondering this over time. Thanks.

[J.Black]

It's always the old people who are the wisest! I listen to everything the have to say and keep my own mouth shut. One day after I am done listening to all I will be just as intelligent and hopefully get to share what I've been taught. The last line is my favourite of course. This says so much- from how brilliantly you write, to the way you carry knowledge from one person to another. I adore you, Coyote.

[Wicahpi]

Grandfather is/was wise!
As for this poem it sends a strong message!
I absolutely love the last line!

Well expressed! I hope we all learn from these kind of
mistakes in life; for time is short.