When I am done.

A Black Velvet night. Time for the poetry to touch the night sky.

When I am done..

I became the old man who waiting for no-one. Once I wanted everything and now.

I need little.

I wonder where do the old soldiers go? When they are so tired.

Maybe we are doomed to die alone.

I drink the soldier whiskey alone tonight and I am not lonely.

The Black Velvet is the soldier last friend.

I sat with many soldiers waiting for their last breathe.

Cancer and agent orange was killing them and the Black Velvet made the dying days okay.

I love my books, I love the jazz and I love Marianne Faithful.

Marianne sing me the truth. We will become sad and desire less.

I pour three finger of the Black Velvet into my favorite shot glasses.

And I asked the night. Can I stay strong for the grandchildren?

I raised the first finger of the whiskey and I tell the quiet night.

Please tell my friend lost to war. Johnnie getting old.

He will join you soon at the soldier's table. I drink the whiskey.

Once I believed, life was mine to own.

Now I know, I was just spitting into the wind and I lost.

I lift the second finger of the Black Velvet.

I tell the dark night.

Did I do enough?

I raise the glass of whiskey to the sky and I tell the ghosts of dead friends killed in war.

I outlived my usefulness.

I drink the whiskey.

I hold the third finger of the whiskey and I tell the midnight hours.

Thank you beautiful Marianne for the song.

The song of Winter had overtook me. Old soldier is so damn tired.

I must stay alive till sickness steal my mind and body.

Grandchildren need me to take them fishing and to the lakes.

I raise the glass and I tell the ghost of many, who cannot leave my mind.

I will stay alive for you.  You left me my good friends too soon.

Damn war steal the best from us. I drink the third finger of whiskey.

I filled a glass, half filled with  a glass of water.

I tell the dark night,

the 32 pistol isn't loaded and I won't die tonight.

The ghost of many won't allow me to die.

They whisper to me.

Please tell my children. I loved them so.

I am the leftover man.

I wanted to die in war and

death didn't want me.

Now when I am done.

What will they remember?

My family, my friends.

Did I do enough.

I drink the glass of the whiskey.

And I told the night.

One more day.

Dancing Coyote

Author's Note

Not a happy poem.

Reviews

[Soren]

Dark is the night and so is this poem but I love the dark it brings on dreams.
"Once I believed, life was mine to own.
Now I know, I was just spitting into the wind and I lost." a great line.
"I must stay alive till sickness steal my mind and body.
Grandchildren need me to take them fishing and to the lakes."
The essence of this poem in a couple of lines. We live for others and this is why their loss is felt so deeply. Nicerly done my friend.

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree Soren. The happy faces of the grandchildren keep me going. Thank you for reading and the comment.

[JessyJacob]

thank you coyote, it reflected my life, totally, as it is my biography,,, its still 20 more not sure more than that, living alone is very difficult when the man says i am here you mayyy bbeee my woman for the life, is like hanging in the air, when he is going to cut the kite or hold it forever,,,,, i am not worrried whether he loves me for sure he loves me and want to stay for him, i am not jug holding for every other man, who want to take care of me, it shows as if he is not caring me, i know he is in a mission to come for me, i am just waiting him to finish the task, in that process i am gettign old, maynot be attractive for kids to give birth too, this is the last moment i can giv rise too, i need that second child for him, for his family, thats all i want, neither i enjoyed my married life why cant he give back my 20 yrs of married life where i had only 4 yrs of married life, do i need to start the fasting again.....

[Coyote Poetry]

Dear Jessy. This is my sad poetry. When ghost of friend are telling me. Go forward, not backward. My Black Velvet poetry. I believe you are strong and you will overcome anything. Please dear Jessy. For the children. We must stay strong. I have five grandchildren. They need me to seek life, not death.

[JessyJacob]

same saying seeing from far people can suggest but when you come into their shoes you feel tha pain how difficult it is.

[Chris Shaw]

You have many ghosts that haunt you. You have memories of warfare and death. Not easy to overcome, but your grandchildren need you. Yes they do. Drink the whiskey and enjoy your time with them. You will be treasured by them Coyote.

Chris

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear Chris. I do poorly on the USA holidays. I remember good friends faces. Thank you dear friend for reading and the kind words.

[Chris Shaw]

It is hard. You have lost so many brothers as well as dear friends. The little ones will soften the hurt. So will the whiskey, but not too much :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I rarely drink now. Tonight. I drink. I do like the honest poetry. Maybe Salinger and Hemingway had taught us the truth. Thank you dear Chris. I appreciate your friendship.

[Chris Shaw]

Take care friend. I like honest poetry too.