When I am done.

A Black Velvet night. Time for the poetry to touch the night sky.

When I am done..

I became the old man who waiting for no-one. Once I wanted everything and now.

I need little.

I wonder where do the old soldiers go? When they are so tired.

Maybe we are doomed to die alone.

I drink the soldier whiskey alone tonight and I am not lonely.

The Black Velvet is the soldier last friend.

I sat with many soldiers waiting for their last breathe.

Cancer and agent orange was killing them and the Black Velvet made the dying days okay.

I love my books, I love the jazz and I love Marianne Faithful.

Marianne sing me the truth. We will become sad and desire less.

I pour three finger of the Black Velvet into my favorite shot glasses.

And I asked the night. Can I stay strong for the grandchildren?

I raised the first finger of the whiskey and I tell the quiet night.

Please tell my friend lost to war. Johnnie getting old.

He will join you soon at the soldier's table. I drink the whiskey.

Once I believed, life was mine to own.

Now I know, I was just spitting into the wind and I lost.

I lift the second finger of the Black Velvet.

I tell the dark night.

Did I do enough?

I raise the glass of whiskey to the sky and I tell the ghosts of dead friends killed in war.

I outlived my usefulness.

I drink the whiskey.

I hold the third finger of the whiskey and I tell the midnight hours.

Thank you beautiful Marianne for the song.

The song of Winter had overtook me. Old soldier is so damn tired.

I must stay alive till sickness steal my mind and body.

Grandchildren need me to take them fishing and to the lakes.

I raise the glass and I tell the ghost of many, who cannot leave my mind.

I will stay alive for you.  You left me my good friends too soon.

Damn war steal the best from us. I drink the third finger of whiskey.

I filled a glass, half filled with  a glass of water.

I tell the dark night,

the 32 pistol isn't loaded and I won't die tonight.

The ghost of many won't allow me to die.

They whisper to me.

Please tell my children. I loved them so.

I am the leftover man.

I wanted to die in war and

death didn't want me.

Now when I am done.

What will they remember?

My family, my friends.

Did I do enough.

I drink the glass of the whiskey.

And I told the night.

One more day.

Dancing Coyote

Author's Note

Not a happy poem.

Reviews

[Soren]

Dark is the night and so is this poem but I love the dark it brings on dreams.
"Once I believed, life was mine to own.
Now I know, I was just spitting into the wind and I lost." a great line.
"I must stay alive till sickness steal my mind and body.
Grandchildren need me to take them fishing and to the lakes."
The essence of this poem in a couple of lines. We live for others and this is why their loss is felt so deeply. Nicerly done my friend.

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree Soren. The happy faces of the grandchildren keep me going. Thank you for reading and the comment.

[Sharrumkin]

Perhaps not happy but poems do not have to be happy. They have to be true. This one is true. That is what matters.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Sharrumkin. You are right my friend.

[Pete]

damn that's deep. not sure what else to say. i raise a glass and salute ... :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Pete. Life teaches us. We must remember our friends who cannot speak.

[Lydia Shutter]

How sad this is...the honest emotion hits hard and is so powerful. We all have regrets in life, but the thing to remember is that we are our own worst enemies. Often the people closest to us do not remember the bad things you attribute to yourself. Your children know you love them....I am glad the war did not take you. Lydi**

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear Lydia. I am lucky. Good health and family near.

[W. Barrett Munn]

Not a happy poem but a truthful poem and that means more.

Winston

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Winston for reading and the kind words.

[Neville]

I know it is easy to write something & not mean it .. but I imagine every line and maybe each word you spilt across and down this page hurt like hell .. because I know the truth does hurt and only retired service personnel deny the ache .. until they reach a certain place in life .. and then there is a compulsion to make peace, say their piece and rest easy .. this is not a happy poem .. but I believe it to be both a good poem and a necessary one sir .. Again, with much respect ... Neville

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Neville. Years ago, I went to my friends graves in Michigan. This day, I learn. War is s**t. I appreciate the comment my friend.

[Ted Kniffen]

Well spoken my friend.
There are nights when our ghosts come to visit and remind us of our less than stellar actions ... but thank goodness for Black Velvet or Canadian Club or whatever helps get us through the night.

Thank God for grandkids who we cannot disappoint ...

Thank you for unloaded guns.

Take care my friend , your poetry touched a chord.

Happy Fourth.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Ted for the comment. Only the good die young. I will live forever.

[Weeping willow]

Such a wonderful expression in this meaningful write. Life is very strong when one is young, thinking I'll always go on.Being strong. Nicely expressed ;-}

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear friend for reading and the comment. I do appreciate.

[JessyJacob]

the singer is Adelle?, she sings very classic i like her voice, and albums.

[JessyJacob]

i know when i write somethign truth, people get offended of me and block me,but you dont look so, you just delete my messages, and make me to understand, though you are younger, you have patience to tell others their mistakes, and dont just block, cutting further talk. I know how it feels when people cut other voice, and parallely they say you should talk speak out enjoy your moment.... what is this, thats why i am not able to chat on their walls...

[Coyote Poetry]

I like you Jessy. I am six whiskey in the the wind. Good to be honest and you can't make everyone happy. I am hard skin. I was a soldier for 18 years. Life isn't fair. I had a good life and I lost good friends to war. If you want to write. We must write. Not everyone like negative. If we try to be kind. Maybe we can be okay?

[JessyJacob]

i agree not everyone like negative, but there are limits for everyting, i feel i am in my limits i know my limits, i say facts which are burried deep inside i just made them to show what you are doing is wrong, there people get offended, everytime praising someone shows sometimes offensive comment too, i dont do that, i tell honestly and frankly, people just want to listen what they want, i dont knoww what people hav intheir mind, when they dont say it out. Afterall everryone is loved by God and god loves everyone.