Blood laced pen..

Do we remember the good days only or do the mistakes of life. Make us bleed to paper?

Blood laced pen.

Fight or flee?

love or hate?

stay or go?

Laugh or cry?

I wonder what Hemingway remembered in his last moment. Did he remember war or the face of Agnes?

My pen does bleed to paper. I remember forgotten promises and my sins. Locked away sins. Old sin, old lies and old faces remembered. Just a chapter of a life, adding to another chapter. Teaches us, what is right and what is wrong.

I told the children. Many kind of wars. I have choose war over staying in one place too long. Now my illness and wounds are my decision. I joined the Army twice. I didn't like the liars in real life. I don't blame God and I don't blame the Devil. I believe, we land where we suppose to.

Love and hate, like rolling the dice. You win sometimes and you lose sometimes. My old man wisdom is. "Better to had loved often than to never know the dance of the kiss and the embrace."

I left home at eighteen and I lived on four continents and I drank a whiskey in 48 states. My Gypsy blood make me want everything and some more. I never knew, should I stay or should I go?  In the end. I landed twelve miles from where I was born.

I have laughed often, I have cried often and I learned. A good life is having many friends and children at your feet. When you hold love close. You will know both tears and laughter.

My blood laced pen is content. I followed my father's blood. War, women, drink and laughter. I tell my grandchildren. Better to had lived then wished you did more.

My dear grandfather told me often. "Johnnie, you are lucky. You have traveled the world. You did great things. Old men need these memories.

When I give up and I accept death kiss. What will be my last thoughts be? War or maybe the pretty gals, who gave me the sweet kisses.

Coyote

Author's Note

Thank you for reading.

Reviews

[andrew mitchell]

A thought provoking write John, I wonder if we just surrender to death because there are too many memories, thoughts to ponder on in the final minutes and then there is that matter whether we are sedated or not. And if we die in our sleep maybe we are in a dream state of no particular subject. Nice writing John.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Andrew. I sat with my grandmother and my father. I believe, they had good dreams.

[SleeplessVolcano]

Thoughtful words. We all wish that we land where we are supposed to. I guess all generation suffer a bit of FOMO, right? I do wonder though which two states missed out on the whiskey :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you my friend. I started drinking whiskey when I retired. It make my mind come alive. The funny part about life. It is too late to seek forgiveness.

[Chris Shaw]

When you eventually pass, no one can say you didn’t live your life to the full. Far better than not leaving an imprint at all. But your last thoughts Coyote, they have to be of love. Don’t leave this plane thinking of war. Go in peace.

Chris

[Coyote Poetry]

I believe dear Chris. My last thoughts will be my grandchildren. Thank you for reading and the comment my dear friend.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Hemingway drove an ambulance during World War I. He handed out chocolate bars and cigarettes to the other soldiers. That made him everybody's favorite G.I. But he was wounded by enemy mortar fire while passing around the goodies. In the second World War he served as a war correspondent. He was awarded the bronze star for his writing although he only wrote five articles. I'd guess his final thoughts were of the woman he loved. I don't think of soldiers as heroes. They're just men who chose a certain profession that required them to kill or be killed and they didn't even get workman's compensation for the risk involved. There are no heroes except Superman or some other cartoon character. General Schwarzkopf wrote as much in the title of his book, It Doesn't Take a Hero. "The Bear" followed in his father's footsteps too. As a colonel in Vietnam he thought about giving up the military because he saw our boys being spit on and called "baby killers" when they came home. No matter what your take on war, there are no heroes, just living and dead and some of the living more dead than alive post combat. The government call the time spent deployed a "tour" like they are hell's travel agent or something. All I've seen are a lot of scared, confused and damaged kids come home to grow up to be scared, confused and damaged old men. There's got to be a much easier way to travel and sightsee. Just my thoughts. I enjoyed the read.

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree Fabian. No-one win in war. War is just reasons to test weapons. if the old men fought wars. They would be no war. Thank you for reading and the comment.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

You asked some very intriguing questions. oh what it would be like to get into thehead of a great writer like hemmingway

[Coyote Poetry]

It would Dale. Salinger tried to commit suicide twice. I hope I am alive when they release in hidden books. Thank you for reading and the comment.

[Dave Brown]

War, women, drink and laughter
not necessarily in that order
If someone could do some Putin shootin perhaps the war thing could fade away, but we are a race of dummies whose lasting accomplishment is killing each other while ruining the planet.
it puts the 6 to 1 humiliating loss "my" team suffered the other night to be as insignificant as it could possibly be
Enjoy your day

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Dave for reading and the comment. Damn wars keep coming. More men and more women learning how to kill before they can learn how to love. Since the days of the Romans. Men do love war. I wish I knew how to stop war my friend.

[Dennis Wolf]

Don't know what then, but it does seem like we have a tendency to write down our sins and failures and regrets, not just those cheerful nights and the drunken haze, and the suggestive curves that got so many eruptions out of us... Haha

I suppose, facing death I've seen an assortment of memories of all kinds go by... But that was more like taking inventory before I'd put my life out... I can't say what happens when it comes on its own.

Guess we'll find out when it is time.
Nicely written

[Coyote Poetry]

We will Dennis Wolf. I have learn. We pay for every sin and we are rewarded for every good deed. Thank you for reading and the comment.

[Dennis Wolf]

Sure thing.

[D. Mansfield]

Ahhh, thank you so much for the glimpse into what I already knew was an interesting life. I feel like I know you now. We have done a few of the same things, probably many more. thnak you for this

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you D. Mansfield. If we live long enough. We become more wiser. Thank you for reading and the comment.