The crying woman- chapter thirteen.

We become what we suppose to be. Can't save someone. Who don't want to be saved.

                              Crying woman- chapter thirteen. Maybe last chapter???

I have lived in Reno three months now. I don't work Sunday or Monday and I still send money to my mother in California. She had the cancer and I pray the treatments can help her. My ex-husband won't allow me to speak to my daughter. Lawrence gave me the paperwork. The house I live in. Is my house now. I still can make Lawrence smile and I have learn new bad habits. I drink more and I love the opium. I need the opium now, I do before I can sleep. If I don't, I can't sleep. I don't mind the sex. Once I thought love was everything. Love didn't save me, love broke my heart, my body and my mind once. I am a lion now. I befriend people with class and cash. I have learn many things in Reno. I can do the tango, a skilled belly dancer and I learn. Women control all things. Marcello and I are special friends now. I have learn men and women like so many things. I love to dance now and kind Lilith come over on Sunday mornings. We stay bare-assed, drink and we do the opium. Thomas rarely visits. He told me once. I am in the way pretty lady and he is my Monday delight when Lawrence is gone on Monday. I cry sometimes. I know I miss my daughter's smile and my mother's laughter. The crying woman was right. Reno is the devil's den. It will take and take till you forget your face and you give-up everything you loved. I haven't give-up yet. I want to find my daughter, give her everything I have and owned. I work less now. I am call a high class call girl. Pretty words for high class w***e. I fear one day, my daughter will see what I am? Nothing but flesh and bones to be used and left. It is okay. I have accepted my life.

Done. Thank you Carolina. Please don't forget me. I need someone to remember me.------

I  put down the thirteen page and I remember my friend Cheryl. I wondered how she lived? How did she die? I packed my bags and I loaded my truck. I went to the coffee shop looking for Carolina. I knew I would find her. It was ten am and I saw her sitting alone, watching the people going by. I went to her and I saw in her eyes. They were filled with sadness and loneliness. I asked her. Can I sit with you Carolina? She asked me. You didn't want me last night, Johnnie, I ain't pretty enough for you? Please sit with me. I told her. You are so beautiful, so filled with anger and sadness. I wanted you to feel safe. She looked into my eyes. I loved how you caressed my face and my hair. You sang me a love song, didn't you? Could you sing for me now? I sang to her. "We are travelers, born alone, we will learn to walk with another. We will know love, we will know heartbreak. Maybe if we are lucky. Someone will be kind to us?" She smiled and she told me. I wished I found a good man like you when I was young and brave. Maybe love would have touched my heart? I asked her, could we take a walk and talk. We could go to the river and we could drink our coffee there. Pretend we are old lovers. I want to know you and I can stay in Reno another day. Maybe I can take you home to your mother? Your thirteen pages gave me a glimpse of you. I want to know more dear Carolina. She laughed at my words. She told me. You damn soldier/poets believe you can save the world. Save the lady in distress. You can't. I can teach you pain and suffering now only. I have no home in California. My mother died of cancer two years ago and my ex-husband is living in Chicago, I believe. In the Devil's den, no angels sweetie. If you stay with me. Will you befriend me, write me love letters and tell me I am the only one? I told her. Yes I would.

She gave me a real smile and I asked for a simple date. I want to hold you hands, steal soft kisses and I want to tell you a thousand times. How beautiful you are. I want to make you feel young and adored. I held her right hand and I told her. I have sin, drank too much and I have knew anger. You and I are more the same than different. She laughed loudly and she told me. I love you Johnnie. I understand why the Devil don't want you. You are a hopeful and dreamy man. Maybe foolish? You make me believe kisses are sweet as September wine. I would spend a day with you my dear soldier and you promise not to break my heart and steal everything I own. She laid her face into my chest and I caressed her like a child. I kissed her forehead and her lips softly. I whispered to her. You and I. Just dancing Raven upon the dark night. Maybe we can find a safe place dear Carolina. If I can save you, I will save myself dear lady.

Coyote

Author's Note

Last chapter and thank you for reading.

Reviews

[Hayllie]

I really can't find the best words to ddescribe this, because tho this has been sad, it is so beautiful! I love the words: Once I thought love was everything. Love didn't save me, love broke my heart, my body and my mind once." I don't know why but this hit home with me so perfectly. Thank you for such amazing writing and emotion!

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear Hayllie. The story is based on a friend who was murdered in Reno. I try to find where she died alone and who knew her. No-one did. So I decided to ensure she won't be forgotten.

[Hayllie]

Well it's truely beautiful!