Bittersweet goodbye
A Poem by Coyote Poetry
Goodbyes are necessary. Need closure to all things.
Bittersweet closure…
I walked up to her house in late June 1980. I celebrated one year with this young woman and in the comfort of her small apartment. We learned passion, love, disappointment and loneliness. An angelic face answered the door and she asked me. Why did I come? She fell into my arms.
I was leaving the Army and Germany in one week. Three years in the beauty and elegance of Germany was coming to the end. I came for closure. My beautiful Daniela took me to heaven and hell. We entwined two lives for a year and her beauty and energy for living enchanted my heart. We reached the pinnacle of passion. A million sweet kisses and thousand words of love. Now only emotions left are sweet dreams and words written to a journal.
Now she is crying. Her new love is dead. I whispered I didn’t know and I didn’t want anyone to die. I went to the Army P.X. and I brought her favorite rum to her. I played her Leonard Cohen and Elvis music and I allowed her to hold on to me.
Silence was necessary for us, sometimes words don’t mean much. They only swim in sadness, allowing the pain to do the fatal mercy of killing off the last of your hope and joy.
A young woman broke my heart. The elixir of sweet love has turned bittersweet. Now forgiveness and kindness are all
we had left. Sweet and beautiful Daniela. She asked me, did I come to save her? I whispered I came to say goodbye the right way and to tell her thank you. Her blue eyes looked into mine and she asked for what? I condemn you to grief and damnation.
I kissed her forehead and I told her. The only offense we would have, dear Daniela is, we didn’t tried to love. I remember breathtaking kisses, the warmth of two bodies becoming one for a time, nights of love and passion
You will always bring a smile to my sleeping heart. When my body and mind are old. Your beautiful face and our midnight dances. Those stories won’t ever leave my heart and dreams.
I sat and baby sit Daniela for three days. I caressed her like a child. We drank rum and we listened to her favorite music. We slept in the same bed and I tried to make her okay. She needed more than I could give her and I told her. If you need me. Please call me and I will always love you my dearest Daniela. Life isn’t fair and we must remember the good times. Even when the bad days are drowning us. She told me. Thank you Johnnie, I thought I was alone and thank you for being kind to me. I left her with new records of Leonard Cohen, cases of cigarettes and more rum. I told her. Sometime all we have is prayers and the remnants of hope. We are dancers on a edge, barely alive. Please Daniela, find something to keep you busy. Great sadness is tattoos to our heart and minds forever.
I left her with no words of love. Just a bittersweet goodbye.
Coyote
July 1982