Too late for forgiveness...

Very old poem with a re-write.

(My brothers Scott and Chuck. Scott committed suicide in 1987, Chuck committed suicide in 1988.)

Too late for forgiveness

A Poem by Coyote Poetry
 A sad one. If you feel death is more important then life. Please call me. Maybe I can help.

 Too late for forgiveness…

My second brother put into the cold earth in 1988. Death by their own hands. The hangman rope more tempting than life. Left many to swim in bad decisions and not enough kind words.

The things I believed in. Became useless and not fruitful anymore. Words said without thoughts or kindness.
Left my soul in blackness. I wished too late to take back words that degrade a life of a brother.

I learn the important things we must believe are  simple and plain. I learn we must rise and fall. Cry and laugh. Beg and demand. I chisel my brother names into a old Oak tree. I asked the Spirit of life and death to forgive me for being a b*****d instead of a friend/brother. Silence and loneliness left me be to the solitude of pen and paper now.

I learn we are all mortals. Too blind to see beyond our own glory, our won story. Till names of the dead are carved into your chest. Today I remember two strong boys who showed no fear. The hidden demons no-one saw. Took them to a rope and no goodbye.

Their death made me more gentle in action and in words. The dream of wealth became less needed. Now I offer a open door to friends and family. I will listen to someone who is struggling and try to help. I don’t believe you can be forgiven.

Lonely graves of two scared boys are permanent scars on a mind and heart. No-one cared that they saw death sweeter then life. I wished I’d listen to a wise grandfather. “Nothing good to say. Say nothing. Negative words and actions can caused permanent damage.”

Better to be a friend then be standing by a casket saying a final goodbye to someone you loved.

                               Coyote

Author's Note

Written in the early nineties.

Reviews

[Stella Armour]

Your grandfather's words were right, but often unkind words are said to others in the heat of the moment and cannot be taken back.
I would think John that your unkindness was only a small contributing factor in their unhappiness, poor boys must have been in a delicate place from many angles to have taken this way out.
We cannot take back the wrongs we have done, but we can learn from them to make the future and the future of others a better place.

[Coyote Poetry]

When we are young. We don't know. People are fragile. Thank you dear Stella for reading and the kind words.

[Stella Armour]

A pleasure John ..

[Gee]

For those left behind to pick up the pieces suicide seems to be the most selfish of acts, but try to imagine what turmoil must be the mind of the one taking their own life. I have seen the aftermath of suicide and the inability to both understand and cope.
Hope you are well Coyote

[Coyote Poetry]

Was a long time ago. They are always on my mind. I post to remind people. We need to listen more, talk less. Don't lecture. Be a safe place to go. Thank you my friend for reading and the comment.

[Gee]

My pleasure

[Betty Hermelee]

I feel much guilt, remorse, sadness in this piece. Anger too, regarding some words between you and your brother which now you regret. Your grandfather said "few words" and you didn't listen. But you have learned your lesson and you are opening doors to kindness You have now turned to paper and pen to untangle your thoughts, perhaps an ode to your dead brother. Very well written John...also very tragic.
Yours, Betty

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear friend. You are right. I became kinder and I learn to listen.

[Betty Hermelee]

I did too!