Something is wrong with me.

Bukowski had stole my soul.

                  Something is wrong with me.

Something is wrong with me. I am like a Bukowski  poem gone wrong.

Bukowski told us, do what you love, even if you must be alone, you must go hungry, be homeless and know hard days. Go all the way or just become a mountain that don't move.

I have become the mountain now, never moving, accepting life as-is.

Once I wanted to save my world, write the great novel and live near the sea.

I befallen and I can't find my real face.

I feel I am becoming more stone and rock than human skin.

Once I drank to feel alive, once I sought war to know I was alive.

Love was never my strength, patience is my enemy and kindness is forgotten.

Bukowski would tell me. "You did a fool's dance for the rich men.

Skinned off your real face and be-face with liar eyes.

Now accepting, just enough.

Remember Johnnie, never trust a man who doesn't drink.

Drink the strong whiskey till you can see,

then, your sleepy eyes can be awaken by the taste of the whiskey.

You will see, you are swimming in s**t."

Something is wrong with me. I have become the Hemingway's ghost.

I need the tropical sea, quiet places and polite woman.

I have none of these.

I need to follow Hemingway's advice. Finish one project and work on one thing only.

End at good open statement so you can find the flow of thoughts again. I need to bleed

to paper.

I met Bukowski once in California in the early nineties in a Tavern. I had a lot of cash and I bought the 

whiskey and we drank. He liked me and he told me. Write hard words, honest words. Make

the people feel your suffering. I didn't know who he was that day. His last words were very cool. He told me,

"you write like s**t, but suffer some more and you will write better."

Maybe I am where I suppose to be? 

Maybe I wasn't brave enough?

Maybe I didn't drink enough?

Dancing Coyote

Reviews

[JE Falcon]

Dancing Coyote, it is always the Bukowski's that get the free drinks and the fame for writing lies and spelling truth. Or is that selling truth? --- When it comes to being a famed poet, it is 50% fate, 20% being in the right place at the right time, and 30% good relatable writing. With me, I've never been where I should have been at the right time, so fate was somewhere else when I sat down at the bar (make that Bars). I'm still working on the 30% after ample suffering, and I gave up the drinks because they were never free. --- So, take heart and be you. Like every great pioneering poet, we have to die before we can find greatness. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are right my friend. In life. Bukowski lived okay. He didn't complain. His books sell better today then in the past. Today my life is okay. I have good health and five grandchildren. Thank you my friend for reading and the comment.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

I love this
I love it so much
I trust you are well
I’ve been out of action in the writing sense busy busy busy I’ll try to get bk to it I miss it so

[Coyote Poetry]

Hello dear Julie. I hope you are doing well. Be safe and have some fun.

[Akshay Rawal]

I believe we all go through this phase of inaction, where we just stop and get huddled up by our endless doubts and questions and fears, which we set to eliminate in our lives in the first place. Bukowski had many critics, he was unconventional and brash but he gave less damns than anyone else.

This poem oozes of the frustration one has towards not following their passions. This poem hits me somewhere, sitting through days slacking, exhausted, doing nothing. Becoming a mountain that's unable to move, to cause change in people's lives.

I have a question though - I don't drink. will you trust me? Lol, maybe not, but I understand :D

[Coyote Poetry]

I drink little now. House filled with grandchildren. I did like Bukowski. He wrote what he wanted. If you disliked. He didn't care. Us, who write. Must be like Bukowski. Have hard skin toward negative people. Thank you Akshay for reading and the comment. I will semi-retire in October. More time to read and write. I have five stories to finish. We must make time for the things we enjoy.

[Akshay Rawal]

I'm glad that you'll find more time to commit to writing and reading. Kinda excited to read more from you as I have liked your earlier work as well. Looking forward to it :)

[Tomás Ó C..]

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes" the late great Brendan Behan said.

I'd like to think we can write without suffering, such misery only benefits the drink vendors.

A very Catholic take: to be worthwhile life must be a suffering experience. I'm Catholic, but never a fan of that thinking!!!

[Coyote Poetry]

I don't know my friend. I believe what Bukowski was telling us. Open your eyes and live. Maybe not suffering but nice to had a wild ride. Thank you for reading and the comment.

[...]

I think alcohol is little bit overated at art . Bukowski himself actually stop drinking. He said he just woke one morning and he feel he don't need alcohol anymore. I think it's also all right to write like s**t . Everyone need time for improvement. I think you got quite lucky to meet with him. How many people can said they drink with Bukowski. Everybody have something wrong but also something good. We are itself living art and there is few rough sides and few polished and all together it's make us who we are.

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree Martin. I did poetry reading on the California coastline. Writing is a constant effort to create something wonderful. Bukowski told me the truth. I appreciate his honest words.

[MOON]

Something is wrong with me. I have become the Hemingway's ghost. What a poignant line. Suffer some more , enough already.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you my friend. I appreciate the comment.

[Ruth]

There is always room for doubt in life and yet the universe has a sneaky habit of placing us on the path we are meant to venture eventually I believe...I would say you are a deep, old soul and such wanderers are seldom lost even though they may have felt so or do feel so...another epic flow of pen Coyote :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear Ruth. I appreciate the kind words.

[Chris Shaw]

Nothing is wrong with you. You are your own man. Why imitate someone who could only write when he was drunk? Women suffer, they don't turn to the whiskey bottle. You are who you are and I feel proud to know you and read you. Keep doing what you are doing. Bukowski probably thought everyone's writing was s**t.

Chris

[Coyote Poetry]

He was okay. He lived his life, his way. In 1992, I did write like s**t. Us, who love to write. Always seeking improvement and the opportunity to learn something. Thank you dear Chris for reading and the kind words.

[Chris Shaw]

Always welcome Coyote. Pity he isn't around to read your words now.

[Ted Kniffen]

Two of the masters John, who came to no good end, but they certainly lived life on their own terms.I think after reading this, that it is possible to find your real face again. You my friend are not a s**t poet even if Bukowski told you that, you are still here and still pouring your heart out on the page, and that's a good thing.

Well done friend.

[Coyote Poetry]

Bukowski told me in 1992 and he was right. I needed to live more. I did. Thank you Ted for reading and the comment. I wish I knew who Bukowski was in 1992. I would have drank with him and listen.

[Ken Simm.]

Very hard but true. A piece we can only understand through experience. Some things we are taught somethings we must learn. This is it. The past is a forign country however.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are right Ken. Life is lesson and more lessons. Thank you for reading and the comment.

[Laura Kate]

This is extremely clever, and got my wheels turning very quickly.

I for one have the impression that you drank enough, because the seas you speak are turbulent, mixed with just the right amount of whiskey that keeps your readers swimming joyfully in flow right until the end. In doing so, you're pretty brave, and Yogis say that we are always right exactly where we need to be. Even now. Reading this. :)

Once I wanted to save my world, write the great novel and live near the sea.
- This gave me goosebumps. I was just thinking before opening your poem, that I really ought to get back to the novel I have been wanting to finish for years now. I don't want to find myself in my 90s with this regret.

Someone recently told me ' The first right time to do that was 20 years ago. The second right time, is right now'.

Thank you for sharing this, I enjoyed it thoroughly.
Laura.

[Coyote Poetry]

I hope dear LouBelle, you finish the novel. I applied for social security and I will have time to finish my stories. Finding time to write is hard. We must make time.

[Laura Kate]

Please do finish them :)