Something is wrong with me.

Bukowski had stole my soul.

                  Something is wrong with me.

Something is wrong with me. I am like a Bukowski  poem gone wrong.

Bukowski told us, do what you love, even if you must be alone, you must go hungry, be homeless and know hard days. Go all the way or just become a mountain that don't move.

I have become the mountain now, never moving, accepting life as-is.

Once I wanted to save my world, write the great novel and live near the sea.

I befallen and I can't find my real face.

I feel I am becoming more stone and rock than human skin.

Once I drank to feel alive, once I sought war to know I was alive.

Love was never my strength, patience is my enemy and kindness is forgotten.

Bukowski would tell me. "You did a fool's dance for the rich men.

Skinned off your real face and be-face with liar eyes.

Now accepting, just enough.

Remember Johnnie, never trust a man who doesn't drink.

Drink the strong whiskey till you can see,

then, your sleepy eyes can be awaken by the taste of the whiskey.

You will see, you are swimming in s**t."

Something is wrong with me. I have become the Hemingway's ghost.

I need the tropical sea, quiet places and polite woman.

I have none of these.

I need to follow Hemingway's advice. Finish one project and work on one thing only.

End at good open statement so you can find the flow of thoughts again. I need to bleed

to paper.

I met Bukowski once in California in the early nineties in a Tavern. I had a lot of cash and I bought the 

whiskey and we drank. He liked me and he told me. Write hard words, honest words. Make

the people feel your suffering. I didn't know who he was that day. His last words were very cool. He told me,

"you write like s**t, but suffer some more and you will write better."

Maybe I am where I suppose to be? 

Maybe I wasn't brave enough?

Maybe I didn't drink enough?

Dancing Coyote

Reviews

[JE Falcon]

Dancing Coyote, it is always the Bukowski's that get the free drinks and the fame for writing lies and spelling truth. Or is that selling truth? --- When it comes to being a famed poet, it is 50% fate, 20% being in the right place at the right time, and 30% good relatable writing. With me, I've never been where I should have been at the right time, so fate was somewhere else when I sat down at the bar (make that Bars). I'm still working on the 30% after ample suffering, and I gave up the drinks because they were never free. --- So, take heart and be you. Like every great pioneering poet, we have to die before we can find greatness. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are right my friend. In life. Bukowski lived okay. He didn't complain. His books sell better today then in the past. Today my life is okay. I have good health and five grandchildren. Thank you my friend for reading and the comment.

[light and ashes]

You are not stone. You have too much passion and you have depth. You also have deep kindness. I can read it in your words. There was a lot wrong with Charles Bukowski, even though he was an amazing writer. I like this. I can't wait to shelve some of your poetry on my shelve.

[Coyote Poetry]

Early next year. I will seek publishing. Thank you my friend for reading and the comment my friend.

[light and ashes]

Well, let me know. I want to be one of the first to buy your work. Keep me posted.

[Arundass TP]

read fully; totally a new way of writing poem. long sentences. great work

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you for reading. I was told. I m the epic writer. I have accepted my burden. I appreciate the comment.

[Beccy]

These are very introspective line Coyote and all the stronger in their message because of that.

Sometimes, and whilst it might not 'pay the rent,' it is vital to show our real face. I have always believed that the humdrum of daily life is primarily dictated by both the need to put food on the table, and the requirement, (rather than the desire,) to conform, 'fit in,' as it were with societal convention. I also believe, that in doing so, we cause untold damage to our true inner selves; And your lines;

"I befallen and I can't find my real face,"

and;

"You did a fool's dance for the rich men.
Skinned off your real face and be-face with liar eyes.
Now accepting, just enough,"

rank among the most accurate observations of how we daily suborn our true selves, that I have ever read.

Oh, and how wrong And Bukowski was in his observation of your poetry.

Beccy.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear Beccy. Bukowski didn't offend me. He told me. Don't give a s**t about other folks opinions. Write, what you believe and know.

[Unspoken poet]

Maybe I am where I suppose to be?
Maybe I wasn't brave enough?
Maybe I didn't drink enough?

Love this part, this is so well written, love the imagery

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you my dear friend. I semi-retired and I have time to reflect. I know you can't go backward, but maybe. We can be wiser and kinder.

[.]

That line.... I wanted to save my world, write great novel... Then can't see my real face.... A beautiful mind got interrupted by so many things.
... Then probably suffering can put it with the mirror it once lost.... Lovely to read....

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you my friend. I believe, we land where we suppose to.

[.]

Exactly.... May be we are destined to that way...

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

“I need to bleed..to paper”- yes this is the drive of the true writer. Wow Coyote- you met Bukowski! He saw the writer in you and gave you encouragement...and you lived..and wrote better. This poem is an authentic, profound journey. It is a Masterpiece of insight, literary skill, humility, grace and wisdom. Stark self-assessment in a poet’s questions and realizations. Cognizance and acceptance of reality. Whatever you may THINK you are right now in these apocalyptic times Coyote,- I KNOW you are a giant with your words And your heart. No one can do what you do- period. Drop mike. It’s shell-shock you feel now because of world and life situations. I feel it too. We did what we did and learned what we learned. “Once I wanted to save my world”-yes. Now we have to stop, breathe, and save ourselves however we can. You were one of my first friends here and you have my love, admiration and respect always. May God always bless and guide you.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear Annette. I read Bukowski later and I learn. Writing is hard. Bukowski told the truth and wasn't beloved in his lifetime.

[X]

Great last words...looks like you still have a chance at the great novel...just suffer some more....what else is there to do in life 😎👌🏻💯♥️

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear Kira. Next month, I will finish some stories and two books. I struggle with endings. We can suffer and we can know happiness. I appreciate the comment.

[X]

It goes hand in hand happiness and sufferings...you wouldn't know one if you didn't experience the other...at my old ripe age I am shooting for happily eva after :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I found my happiness. Maybe the place I suppose to be. A grandfather of four grandchildren. I made many wrong turns to get here. We all do. Be safe and do something you enjoy today dear Kira.

[Just Kim]

WOW!!!

Once I drank to feel alive, once I sought war to know I was alive.
Love was never my strength, patience is my enemy and kindness is forgotten.

Also love this part so much, drank to feel live, or probably numb for a while as well
Sought war to know you were alive, Deepness as well as sadness there.

very coarse words my friend.

[Coyote Poetry]

I turned 62 on August 11th. Did some deep thoughts and I read the old writers. Bukowski and Jack Kerouac books. Thank you dear friend for reading and the comment.

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Powerful and strong message here.
Sometimes life make us become what we don't want to be. Sometimes, we have to give live all that it takes. We are living in a world of uncertainty. We just have to be strong enough to keep on going.

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree my friend. We must go forward and never give in to the naysayers. Thank you for reading and the comment.

[Insight "MH"]

Pain is a strong motivator, it hits the core of mind and soul, it's a mental and psychological aching process, and it will not go until you face it with harnessing it and transforming it to a new form of energy, taking advantage of the emotional surge. Well done Coyote, you really made me self reflect.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you for reading and the comment. I have been listening to Bukowski lately. I liked his honest words.

[Insight "MH"]

You are welcome.