Something is wrong with me.

Bukowski had stole my soul.

                  Something is wrong with me.

Something is wrong with me. I am like a Bukowski  poem gone wrong.

Bukowski told us, do what you love, even if you must be alone, you must go hungry, be homeless and know hard days. Go all the way or just become a mountain that don't move.

I have become the mountain now, never moving, accepting life as-is.

Once I wanted to save my world, write the great novel and live near the sea.

I befallen and I can't find my real face.

I feel I am becoming more stone and rock than human skin.

Once I drank to feel alive, once I sought war to know I was alive.

Love was never my strength, patience is my enemy and kindness is forgotten.

Bukowski would tell me. "You did a fool's dance for the rich men.

Skinned off your real face and be-face with liar eyes.

Now accepting, just enough.

Remember Johnnie, never trust a man who doesn't drink.

Drink the strong whiskey till you can see,

then, your sleepy eyes can be awaken by the taste of the whiskey.

You will see, you are swimming in s**t."

Something is wrong with me. I have become the Hemingway's ghost.

I need the tropical sea, quiet places and polite woman.

I have none of these.

I need to follow Hemingway's advice. Finish one project and work on one thing only.

End at good open statement so you can find the flow of thoughts again. I need to bleed

to paper.

I met Bukowski once in California in the early nineties in a Tavern. I had a lot of cash and I bought the 

whiskey and we drank. He liked me and he told me. Write hard words, honest words. Make

the people feel your suffering. I didn't know who he was that day. His last words were very cool. He told me,

"you write like s**t, but suffer some more and you will write better."

Maybe I am where I suppose to be? 

Maybe I wasn't brave enough?

Maybe I didn't drink enough?

Dancing Coyote

Reviews

[JE Falcon]

Dancing Coyote, it is always the Bukowski's that get the free drinks and the fame for writing lies and spelling truth. Or is that selling truth? --- When it comes to being a famed poet, it is 50% fate, 20% being in the right place at the right time, and 30% good relatable writing. With me, I've never been where I should have been at the right time, so fate was somewhere else when I sat down at the bar (make that Bars). I'm still working on the 30% after ample suffering, and I gave up the drinks because they were never free. --- So, take heart and be you. Like every great pioneering poet, we have to die before we can find greatness. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are right my friend. In life. Bukowski lived okay. He didn't complain. His books sell better today then in the past. Today my life is okay. I have good health and five grandchildren. Thank you my friend for reading and the comment.

[Miss Sharon]

I LOVE this write! (I need to follow Hemingway's advice. Finish one project and work on one thing only.) These words were written just for me! LOL ~Sharon

[Coyote Poetry]

Me too dear Sharon. Even in his youth. He worked on one project. Hello dear friend and thank you for reading and the comment.

[jennifer little]

wow great poem great flow good job keep up the good work and never stop writing

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear Jennifer. I appreciate the kind words.

[jennifer little]

yoru very very welcome

[Mauricio Montoya]

no one is wrong, don't beat ur self.

[Coyote Poetry]

Just old thoughts and I believe. We get what we deserve. Thank you my friend for reading and the comment.

[sette]

really heavy emotions of sadness, regret and melancholy but still life can be like that there are moments when you feel you have to look back with anticipation but ended up troubled perhaps that is what life is all about continuously challenging a person

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree my friend. No easy life for no-one. Thank you for reading and the comment.

[m.s.early]

I think of Tolstoy at the Crimea.

Or the movie "Crossroads" when Seneca tells Macchio, obviously irritated...

"You can't play the blues... Until you've lived the blues"

Suffering is subjective. A papercut is the worst pain one has felt if one has never felt pain until then.

But no less liscened to write it.

Whiskey works until it stops working. And then suffering isn't nearly as romantic.

This hit me in a soft spot. But I'll take my "hard times on the pea farm" (to quote the movie) over watching men blown to peices at the Crimea anyday.

Maybe better to relate than to compare. And maybe gratitude for our suffering being only great as it was.

Very emotive peice. You intimated it well.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you for the many quotes. We are always learning good lessons and bad lessons. If we are lucky. We gained some wisdom.

[Audrey M.]

"you write like s**t, but suffer some more and you will write better." LOL : D

I loved the whole thing but this line stuck out for me. I was curious as to why he told you that. Had you shared your words with him to make such a statement? From a writer's position speaking of my own experience, I'd appreciate someone telling me that as opposed to someone telling me how great I was and had never read a word. It's a start to improvement. I guess just writing has been on my mind lately.

[Coyote Poetry]

He told me the truth my friend. I was writing without knowing great pain. I did find. The great writers sought education of the ugly and the dirty things. Hemingway saw war and in Paris. He wrote the greatest novels. Salinger live in three years of hell in WW2. He saw life with damaged eyes. The WW1 and WW2 poets and writers told us the bloodiest of war. No-one listen. I pray we learn soon. Only the poor and the innocence pay the price of war and hate. Thank you my dear friend for reading and the comment.

[Cassie]

Painful, this is a place many find themselves but we keep moving since we are here

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear Cassie and I do agree.

[lightsong]

nothing is wrong with You, the wrong is in the bitter hateful world we became to live in it, You are a writer, a kind-hearted person, a real man, and that's why You may go through all of this, and as a writer, it's normal to take a small feeling and make it extreme for the sake of creation, exactly as Bukowski told You. "feel I am becoming more stone and rock than human skin." when a human being faces lots and lots inside and carrys it alone, they can reach that point but it never means that they lost their tender side, it means they have more control on it than before, to use it carefully when it's needed instead of letting the emotions control us. Bless You my friend and may your days be bright and creative always ✨

[Coyote Poetry]

Just old man thoughts. We look back and we wished we done more. Thank you for reading and the comment my friend.

[Betty Hermelee]

Write hard words; first you are like a stone, no face no heart no kindness, just a lump who can''t even put pen to paper until you move from your old face to your new and remember Hemingway's advice and Bukowski's' advice; "you did a fool's dance for a rich man", now pay the price! or find peace!
I liked this very much.
Fondly, Betty

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear Betty for reading and the comment. I do appreciate.

[Betty Hermelee]

You’re very welcome