Damn those eyes

Poem for a story

                       

                             Damn those eyes

My life had no beginning, no ending till I saw you. You were so beautiful.
You made the drink taste bitter and my hunger to die.
Forgotten.

Those kind and gentle brown eyes made me know some kind of peace.
I wanted only.
To have your eyes upon my face and to hear your words whispered to me in the darkness of the lonely night.

I asked you.
Are your my savior? Are you my siren to lead me to the dead seas of emotions?

I  told the Pacific.
Damn those eyes.
Damn her beautiful face.

I need you near.
I need you always.
Please my dear love.

Come with me.
Come with me to where lovers don't lie.
Come with me where we are true and free.

Beautiful eyes of golden brown whispered.
Damn your sweet words.
Your words like sweet candy and dangerous hurricane.
Make me want to taste your salty skin and for us to find the utopia of love .
Where we cannot return.

You made great promises and maybe I just bewitched you and I'm just a wish of myth and tale.
Where love promises fade to nothing in the morning light?

I looked at her and I whispered to her.
Damn those eyes.
I rather live and die in those eyes.
I will take the chance and
if you are my savior, my murderer.
I accept the final journey.

                           John Castellenas

Author's Note

Just words

Reviews

[AliceBarnes]

Words cannot express how beautifully written this was, I loved it! I honestly can't say that this could have flowed more nicely nor written any better. I loved that you used brown eyes, since brown eyes are seen as a bit boring compared to other colours its really nice to see that you used that colour. The length was very good too, I know that may sound rather weird, but I believe poems or chapters of books can become too short or too long to really grab a reader's interest - and this was just right, it left me feeling speechless with how good it was. I am going to have to add this to my favorites because I know I am going to want to read this again in the future. There is just something so captivating about the way you have written this, I adore you writers style. I particularly loved the lines "I told the Pacific. Damn those eyes. Damn her beautiful face." because, oh my goodness, the imagery was just spot on, it made me think of the sea and then of the brown eyes, and then of a women's beautiful face and it was just magical. I really liked how you ended the poem as well "I will take the chance and if you are my savior, my murderer. I accept the final journey." it was such a brilliant place to leave it because it made me realize that it was the end just by the wording, but it also ended on such a beautiful note that it really put the icing on the cake for me. I really look forward to reading more of your works in the future.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Alice. I appreciate the comment. You made my day.

[Gozer]

I have read your art at another site (some time ago) and was impressed with your skills then as well. You definitely use metaphor well and create stirring and stark imagery with your words. It is good to see a familiar entity at a site new and foreign to me. Clever work,Coyote.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you for reading and the comment. I do use three writing sites now. I appreciate the comment.

[Effector Prime]

More than jost words. You know that. The words and the... the eyes, the explosive... wow! that they have on you...
bo' then you jost hear yourself in your head. helplessly alone, mercilessly withdrawn; say those Three Beautiful Words. Thank you for this wonderful rendition of that... ubiquitous moment shared by everyone, oh everyone how can it not be Everyone, Everyone with eyes... 9memories come crashing down on me... Indeed I had wished I could have live and died in them

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you my friend for reading and the comment. I do appreciate.

[Effector Prime]

You're most welcome compadre.

[Rashi Jain]

I have never seen anybody writing about eyes so gracefully.
I asked you.
'Are your my savior? Are you my siren to lead me to the dead seas of emotions?
I told the Pacific.
Damn those eyes.
Damn her beautiful face.'
These lines just memorized me.❤

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Rashi. I appreciate the kind words.

[Rosalind Gale]

A study of exact wording, a poet of true colors - romantic, sure. Though more than that, a sultry sexiness- thank you, poet,
-x-

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Rosalind. You are very kind and I appreciate the comment.

[Monday Parker]

DAMN!!!!! So romantic...So sweet...So well written. Good job. I love this.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you for reading and the comment. I do appreciate.

[apennylate]

*Welcome to "Pure Rhymes" Thanks for joining, great to have you...!*

Those damn eyes... Sirens of the soul, demons of the flesh... A languid journey through the center of a hurricane... Needfully penned...

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you my friend. I appreciate the comment.

[apennylate]

A pleasure, Poetry

[marlayesterday]

I love this so hard. :) You captured this so well.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you for reading and the comment. I do appreciate.

[Anahat]

Ahh! What a lovely piece of writing. Loved it as always :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Anahat. I appreciate the comment.

[Sriparna]

Beautiful poem.love the mood and attitude of the poem. Romantic and creative as well. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you my friend for reading and the comment. I do appreciate.