The Poet's love- struggle and understanding.

For Susana Chavez Castillo- A honored poet. Killed for her true words.

             

                          The Poet's love-struggle and understanding.

Paloma watched Johnnie at the Trujillo festival.  He looked so tire now. Once a strong and brave soldier who lived and he would of died for her. He protected and saved her life twice. She remembered he left the service and stayed with her in Trujillo for six months in 2011. This was five years ago. They found each other six times. Each time she needed him and he would come to her. Demanding nothing and loving her when she felt worthless and dead. Now she knew. She would never leave him again. Johnnie looked at her and he saw tears falling from her brown eyes. He went to her and he kissed her tears away and he whispered. I love you my beautiful lady of kindness and I will survive. I saw hell and back many times. Nasty cancer can't kill me my love. Only the good die young. She asked him to leave the Trujillo festival.

They arrived at the American Motel. Johnnie stripped down to his boxer shorts and he tossed the blanket to the ground. Eighty plus degrees this night. Paloma goes to the bathroom. She washes her face and she cries alone. She remember she wouldn't stay with Johnnie. The Mexican police stole a part of her and she rejected his offer five times. She had known love and she never gave anyone 100%. Johnnie always kept in contact. He found work he liked and he worked and he saved his money. She released her Summer dress of flowers and she inventoried her body. She liked her curved and her breasts still stood without need of bra. She laughed at herself and she went to him.

She walked nude and proud to the corner of the room and she brought four books to him.  He smiled watched her perfect legs and tender body with great pleasure. She tossed them on the bed and she smiled. I begin writing again in Spain because of you. After you saved me in Mexico the second time, I told you. I would never write again or be published. I blamed myself for putting myself in peril and you and Leo. You told me often. You would never kill and for me. You did terrible things and you murdered 12 men. She fell upon the bed and he caressed her scars on her back. He kissed the scars and he told her. Life is hard and we must learn. Treasure the good days and forget the bad. She looked at him and she whispered. Those scars kept me from loving anyone. I left you five times and I know I broke your heart five times. Johnnie smiled and kissed her often and he picked-up the books. He looked at each one. Each book with 40 poems each and each dedicated to her friends. One book was for Leo, one book for Lawrence and two book for Johnnie. He touched the title of the book called. "The Poet's love". For Johnnie, my true love.

He open the book and he read four poems aloud from the book.

----------------------Hills and valleys
Lovely man with the heart of gold.
He wouldn't allow me to fall alone.
His faithful heart took the darkness of life away from me.
He smoothe my mind and heart with gentle song and kind words.
He sweet kisses and tender hands made me feel alive.
Even when I was cold and silent.
He loved me.
His love demanded little and he wanted only for me to sing and laugh again.
                     Paloma

----------------------Drink of me
I was dying and wanting death.
Dear soldier with kind voice and gentle hands sang to me.
"My pretty senorita.
Life is long and the wine is plenty.
No night for dying my beautiful Paloma.
Your body will heal and your heart will learn peace one day.
Drink of me. Steal my laughter and hope.
Yesterday is gone and today you shall heal.
Stand tall and proud without fear."
I told him. Something cannot be fixed or be healed.
He kissed my hands and fingers.
He whispered.
Dear Paloma. You ain't dead yet.
Ain't defeated yet.
Write a storm to be told and please tell the world.
Better to be fearless and to stand for the weak.
You did great things.
You had saved the helpless children.
Bleeding for the right must be done.
Better to live for something then die for nothing.

                 Paloma

-------------------------------The Poet's love
Dear Poet.
You are my life giving blood.
You have saved me and I'm blessed to be able to look into your hazel eyes.
You taught me.
Love is life and life is love.
I was going to exiled life and give-up.
You wouldn't allow me to die.
You made me understand, we must endure pain to know sweetness.
We must know lost to know victory.
I'm the Poet's love and thankful."
             Paloma

------------------------ Forever

Tattered heart and mind always knew.
Dear Johnnie.
You were my shelter and protection in the wild world.
I have loved you for 20 years.
You bled and killed for me.
You wouldn't allow me to die.
You gave me all your love to me and you accepted little.
You whispered to me often.
You are my muse and you show me the fruit of love.
I have loved no-one but you since the days of Trujillo.
Today dear Johnnie.
You are faraway from me and when I found you again.
I won't betray my heart again. We will live and die together.
I won't allow you to leave my life.
You and I.
By the veil of the sea.
We will undress our fear and we shall become one.
I love you my Johnnie
                 Paloma
 ----------------------------------


Johnnie brought he closer and his tears fell. She touch the tears with gentle hands and she whispered. I will never leave you. Here in Trujillo, in Michigan or in Spain. I want us to grow old and be silly together. We have ran away too often. This is our time. You and I. Me and you. He brought her closer and he told her. After I and Leo saved you the second time in Mexico.  I would of die if you gave-up and died. I stayed with you for six months. Remember you begged me to stay. I went back to Mexico and did bad things. If someone hurt you. I wanted revenge. I believe my heart is cold now dear Paloma. She kissed him a hundred times and she cried. She told him. I made you drown in blood and I'm loaded with hidden memories and pain. I went back to Mexico the second time for Susana Castillo. I had to do a final goodbye. You told me to wait and I was capture again. I'm so damn sorry for being foolish.  Johnnie cupped her breasts and he put his face into her hair. He told her. I loved you for your bravery.  You were fearless and hard headed. You followed your heart.  She smiled and she whispered. Together we will find peace. I'm the Poet's love and I know. No-one can hurt me no-more. Please stay with me forever. Johnnie brought her closer and he whispered. I will never leave you again my love.

                                    John Castellenas/Coyote

Author's Note

New chapter

Reviews

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

Sometimes we don’t understand why things work out like they do but what’s meant to be will always find a way, sometimes the hardest darkest paths lead to the best destinations and the mud and muck has many life giving properties, so special is this story🌹

[Coyote Poetry]

Not history. Johnny would be dead and Paloma would had suffered. The story for Susana Castillo Chavez. A Mexican Poet killed and hand cut off for trying to help the Mexican girls on the border. Susana Castillo Chavez is real. Her death broke my heart. The video is her reading poetry.

[‘Thoughts In Time’🌹]

Yes I know each word is true and it’s written from the deepest part of you , who could doubt🌹

[Dave]

John - you write so powerfully! I can feel the love, feel the pain. I am so glad the two of them are together.

Take care - Dave

[Coyote Poetry]

Better to not die alone my friend. Thank you Dave for reading and the time.

[Rye]

Such a touching read here and lovely. such a longing I felt throughout

[Coyote Poetry]

I appreciate your kindness. A long tale and your kind words and comment make me happy. I will print and edit deeply. These chapters are free-flow thoughts.

[poetgurl]

Wow, another amazing chapter, you have a lot of details in this I see, which is really good and a good solid imagery. Wonderful.

[Coyote Poetry]

I knew of Susan Castillo Chavez. The more I learn. The more sadness I felt.

[Neville]

I dont know how you do it my friend, each of these chapters build upon the other, which of course is to be expected but they dovetail so seamlessly they are a pleasure to read.........N

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Neville. I do appreciate the comment. You are very kind.

[Tomás Ó C..]

Ah... I dint realise this was a novel... Ill get to read the other chapters soon!

[Coyote Poetry]

It is. Almost done. Based on the Poet killed in Mexico in 2011 name Susana Castillo Chavez. For writing about the 1000 Mexican girl stole, used in slavery and murdered.

[Tomás Ó Cárthaigh]

Wow... such a tragic tale, well worth bringing to a bigger audience. Mexico has such a tragic tale to tell.

[Coyote Poetry]

Yes you are right my friend.

[Tony Jordan]

This reminds me of many similar tales of the demise of a poet. For my own heart there is always Allende.
Poets have ideas and ideas are dangerous to despots and dictators so they must be contained or eradicated. Susana Chavez RIP.

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree. Many great writers and poets had die for the right things. A silent voice. Leave us wishing we were braver. Thank you Tony for reading and the comment.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

"Write a storm to be told and please tell the world"- in this book you have done exactly that Coyote."Sangre de silencio"- no more- Shout to the world about the abuses to women, like Susana did. Paloma and Johnnie together again, nevermore to part. They will heal each other's scars. LOVE THIS!! Kudos my dear friend!:)

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Annette. I appreciate the comments and kind words. We must remember Susana Castillo Chavez.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Thank you for letting us share this with you Coyote!

[Einstein Noodle]

after so many tries and so much passion and violence..i hope they make it ;) i liked the interjection of her poetry .. especially the first one ... some repetition in the following poems that perhaps could be trimmed a bit ...but as a whole it all works for me .. thank you for the closing paragraph as the lovers are together .. forever ;) ..i got kind of a kick out of this line "I will never leave you. Here in Trujillo, in Michigan or in Spain." ...i mean "Michigan"??? not Paris ..or Berlin or Brussels?? ;))))
E.

[Coyote Poetry]

Johnnie went back to Michigan. Paloma is from Spain and Trujillo is safe ground. Trying to save a world that doesn't want to be saved. A dangerous dance. The story based on Susana Castillo Chavez. A Poet killed for writing about the enslavement and abuse of Mexican girls. Thank you dear friend for reading and he comment.

[Einstein Noodle]

oh my goodness! i had no idea of the history in this one .. going to have to go a googling right now ...thanks sir!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome my friend.