The Poet's love

A new story

                             The Poet' love


The old Poet loved the country of Honduras. He had came here often in his life and he loved the Honduras coastline. Trujillo and Tela had been his safe haven for 30 years. He had lived his best and worst days near the Caribbean sea. Now he came back to die. He was at the American motel in Trujillo sitting with three old friend. They were enjoying the view of the Caribbean sea, drinking sweet red wine and discussing the Poet's ending.

Paloma, a writer and poet from Spain, she told him. You are drinking the Honduras rum as your pain killers. Slowly fading away my dear friend Johnnie. Johnnie told her. There are worst ways to die. I can slowly die drinking the Honduras rum and I have my three best friend near. Lawrence, a retired doctor from Honduras, told him, with sadness in his voice. You have been waiting for death. You treat death like a welcome guest. My old friend. Death is the end. I know of no-one who have seen heaven or hell.  Leo, a painter of the sea, women and the landscape whispered. Paloma and Lawrence. I left my home in Mexico with deadly cancer 10 years ago to die in Trujillo. Today I'm alive because of the kindness of kind Trujillo women and the fresh and clean air. If Johnnie want to die. With death. We do not decide. Better to lived a life, free of fear. Some comical god-like thing made man. Weak, foolish and dumb. Men don't appreciate the gifts given. Just create havoc.

Johnnie smiled and he asked the group. Remember when we found each other in 1986. Paloma, you were the most beautiful woman I ever seen. I remember you at the nightly festival sponsored by the Doctor in Trijillo.  I saw you standing alone and I was memorized by your long flowing auburn hair and your long perfect tanned legs. You awoke me with a sweet whisper. Your dark brown eyes made me weak and speechless. I still remember the whisper. You asked me. Was I in love or in lust? I told you. Both.  Leo smiled and laughed. He told them. I remember them days. Paloma was my first nude paintings. She was a dark skin goddess and I asked her to pose. She asked. Cloths or nude. I told her both. Paloma smiled and she told him. I have one of those paintings still. You made me perfect and feel wonderful and beautiful. I was a college girl seeking reasons to live. Johnnie taught me poetry and you taught me the beauty of the world. You never attempted to touch me. I learn years later. You loved another.

Lawrence smiled and laughed at the conversation. He told them. Those were the good days dear friends. I found Johnnie first in Tela. I was the village doctor and I loved to  speak English or French.  I saw Johnnie sitting alone drinking the Honduras rum and he was watched the water dance on the shore from the hotel tavern. I invited him to my table. We were joined by six Tela young women. Tropical beauties with wild eyes and who loved to dance. Me and Johnnie talked till dawn. I remember Johnnie was escaping a broken heart and I told him. We have six Honduras beauties near us. I believe men are not suppose to love one woman.   Woman are something to behold. Can't hold too tightly and you can't hold on too loosely. When the gift of love, embrace and kiss is given. Just be thankful. I remember when you met Rosa that night. She rested on your shoulder and she waited for you to see her. I remember you looked at her and you learned I was right. When a woman pay you attention. Be thankful.

Paloma smiled and she told them. Men rarely know what they want. Once, me and Johnnie were suppose to get marry. Johnnie left for some war and I went home.  I learn a Poet's love. Male or female. Just addition to a journal to be locked away and re-read when needed. Johnnie, we tried three times and now I found you again. Are we destiny or just finding dead-end? Is our love real or just some fantasy for a poem or tale?

Johnnie took her hand and he told her. You were my first and you shall be my last love. I remember the night I met you. You stole my heart and my voice. We danced till the music was no-more. I still can see your Summer dress and how your eyes made the moon and stars seem so small. We stayed in the hotel for three days. Coming out for food and drink only.

Leo told them. No-more love stories today. Tonight the moon is full and I can hear the Trujillo songs by the beach. Me, Lawrence, you and dear Paloma will dance, drink and sing till we cannot no-more. Tonight is for living. Not for dying.

                               John Castellenas/Coyote

Author's Note

New story.

Reviews

[BlackPrince]

Dear Coyote,
I love the story from the first chapter I read so far.
You certainly have a poetic eye and it shows in your descriptive skills.
However, as a fellow writer, I'd like to remind you to carefully consider your punctuation (question marks, full stops, speech marks and so on...) and grammar and vocabulary (plural, singular and so on...).
I can see you definitely have no spelling mistakes,
but there are vital grammatical changes you have to make, since I believe that writing is something you clearly love. But, of course, it's understandable if English is not your first language.
Because, I personally believe, here on Writers Café, we're not here to only flatter each other, but we are here to read and appreciate each other's work; in that process, we have to be honest in our reviews of each other's work and be constructive in our criticism. By pointing out errors, with good intentions at heart, we can help each other grow to be the best writers we can be.
Focus on these and your writing will come to life in a major way.

Examples:
in your first paragraph,
'He was at the American motel in Trujillo sitting with three old friend.',
you will notice 'three old friend'. 'Friend' needs an s because it's plural, since there's more than one friend. The correct way would be:
'Three old friends'

In your second paragraph, you wrote,
'Paloma, a poet from Spain, she told him. You are drinking the Honduras rum as your pain killers. Slowly fading away my dear friend Johnnie.'

Right there you are introducing speech between characters, and therefore you need to introduce speech marks.
The correct way generally, and since Paloma is speaking, it should be:

Paloma, a poet from Spain, she told him, "You are drinking the Honduras rum as your pain killers, slowly fading away, my dear friend Johnny."

Or another way would be:
Paloma, a poet from Spain, told him, "You are drinking the Honduras rum as your pain killers. You are slowly fading away, my dear friend Johnny."

In the above example, in the first line, you mention Paloma's name, which is a personal pronoun; and, therefore, you don't need to add 'she'.
Look at the difference:
Paloma, a poet from Spain, she told him...
Paloma, a poet from Spain, told him...

Also think of it like this, what you would rather say in a conversation:
Paloma told him.
Paloma she told him.

[Coyote Poetry]

I finally finished the story. 50,000 words and I will find me a editor now ASAP. I do appreciate the help. I free-flow write. I wrote six chapters in one day. I do appreciate your time and the help. I do need. Thank you.

[Lyn Anderson]

You inspire me. I love the way this flows. Your writing has come far since I first met you. I would say there are only minor tweaks in tense and plural usage needed. Your words are wise and honest and beautiful.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Lyn. 15 chapters for this one. I appreciate the comment.

[Dave]

John - your characters are so alive! I just finished your first chapter, but I'm rushing off to the next.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Dave. I appreciate your time. I finally finished this story last week.

[Karen Redburn]

There is much sweet reminiscing in this poem. The regret is only a slight whisper. I can picture these characters sitting together near the beach and ocean. The characters are likable and have stories to tell. Will be back to read more, cheers!

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Karen. 16 chapters. I finally finish yesterday.

[Karen Redburn]

You're welcome, and happy you finished the story. Will make for some great reading! Congrats on finishing and can't wait to dig in to this story a little more.

[Rye]

Honduras rum as your pain killers. Must be some sort of strong rum, This is very good I love the intro. Nice and feels like love. wonderful.

[Coyote Poetry]

Honduras rum is very strong. I was station in Honduras for one year. Thank you dear Poet for reading and the comment.

[emmajoy]

' Is our love real or just some fantasy for a poem or tale? .. Johnnie took her hand and he told her. You were my first and you shall be my last love. I remember the night I met you. You stole my heart and my voice. We danced till the music was no-more. I still can see your Summer dress and how your eyes made the moon and stars seem so small. We stayed in the hotel for three days. Coming out for food and drink only. ~~~ Leo told them. No-more love stories today. Tonight the moon is full and I can hear the Trujillo songs by the beach. Me, Lawrence, you and dear Paloma will dance, drink and sing till we cannot no-more. Tonight is for living. Not for dying. '

Those words are but part of your tale.. and in themselves display amazing skill and true emotion, between friends, between lovers. In your own special way you speak to everyone, invite readers and listeners.. and then thank folk so sincerely for their reviews. How generous is that! Thank you.

[Coyote Poetry]

This is my work now dear friend. I have written 12 more chapters and tonight I will finish. I'm on vacation. The story is for Susana Castillo Chavez. Mexico Poet killed for trying to help the Mexican women on the border. Thank you for reading and the comment.

[poetgurl]

Leo told them. No-more love stories today. Tonight the moon is full and I can hear the Trujillo songs by the beach. Me, Lawrence, you and dear Paloma will dance, drink and sing till we cannot no-more. Tonight is for living. Not for dying.

Love this part, this is a wonderful and descriptive write. nicely written

[Coyote Poetry]

I will finish this book this month. Four more chapters. If you have time. Please read and please tell me if worthwhile. I'm writing the story for Susana Castillo Chavez. Mexican Poet killed and murdered for trying to help the women of Mexico.

[Smoking Man]

Beautiful opening chapter which had me hooked from line 1.
I'm seeing the imagery and romantic scenes as if I was there.
The descriptive passages are truly breathtaking,kudos to you.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you for reading. A story I wrote for Susana Castillo Chavez. A Mexican Poet killed for standing for the missing women on the Mexican border. Not a sweet story, a realistic story.

[Neville]

Okay, have to admit, I wish I had read this chapter before the last but hey, my fault entirely, great stuff here

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Neville. I'm writing the story for the memory of the Poet Susana Castillo Chavez. Killed in 2011 for trying to help the young girls on the Mexican border.

[Neville]

Yep gotcha, N

[Jon Roggie]

There is something about your writes. I can hear a touch of Steinbeck, but also other influences. They have given you a voice. One which is your own.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Jon. I appreciate the kind words.