I need you, I don't need you.

Just words

                                             

I need you, I don't need you
-----
                                   Damn if you do, damn if you don't
Perfect beautiful girl came to me in the midnight hour. Eyes of hazel green, robust and young body demanding my attention. I knew the ending before the beginning.  She was wildflowers free in heart and a crashing sea in the need of the love. She wanted everything and wanted nothing. I was just a place to rest, till her heart languished new kiss and embrace.

We shared cigarettes, the vodka and juice and the midnight dance. She hypnotized me with sweet words and make me wish for false redemption. The redemption of believing our words whispered in the chaos of passion and sweet kiss.  Were promises made to be obeys.

Longs night led to late afternoon during the cold days of January. We played lovers and for a second. We were the lucky ones in the agony of love for a time. I watched her gain strength and her eyes becoming wild and uncontrolled. I knew she was a wild storm ready to run. I didn't hold her too tightly. I learn a long time ago. Wild birds cannot be caged-up. If you cage-up a wild and free spirit. They will die.

Rumors came to me. My midnight guest was roaming again. I drank the vodka and juice and I told myself. I knew. Damn if you do, damn if your don't.

I wrote her a poem and I gave the poem to her in the early Spring.
--
                 Dance with me

In the name of love.
Love saved me.
Love is not owned.
Love is the kindest gift.
Sometime love is forever and
sometime love is chaos and wish.
Both sweet and needed. Both painful and wonderful.
I love you Jen and I know.
I was the lucky one.
I'm not jealous of your new journey.
I understand the need of new kiss and embrace.
Please dance with me again and please don't forget me.
--

Love don't die easy. Many cigarettes, the vodka and juice and the need of separation is felt.
Hard to know who escaped. Jen wanted everything and I wanted her. Two people running toward different locations. Today the poet write words that still cut deep. Old Poet smiled and whispered to the morning sun.

Damn if you do. Damn if you don't.
             John Castellenas/Coyote








                  

“Moonseeker”, 2016-2017, Yuriy Ku Drop

Author's Note

Just words.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I always love contrasts in writing becuz life is so full of contrasts, it's a great way to SHOW instead of telling how it can be: "damned if you do & damned if you don't". I like the way you use vodka & juice as a repeating refrain of self-soothing. The embedded poem is very good, so true-to-life, especially the last 3 lines of it, which are so relatable. Great job, as usual, my friend! (((HUGS)))

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear friend. I appreciate the comment. Life teaches us. Real love rarely touches us.

[Tony Jordan]

Truly bitter-sweet John.
A beautiful embedded poem in this write with such a human wish - remember me...
The title reminded me of a book called 'I hate you; don't leave me' about a person who couldn't abide the people they loved but couldn't face being without them.

Great write John.
:)

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Tony. I appreciate the comment.

[Ed Hart]

there are worse things to make a memory of...

[Coyote Poetry]

You are right my friend. Sadness been long gone and the memory become more sweet with time.

[mercy party]

i fell in love with a stripper once too. band on tour, a nice place where indiana meets kentucky. stopped in with a day to kill and for some air conditioning. we went to chucky cheese and she wrote me a love letter. your poem made me remember it even happened at all!

[Coyote Poetry]

I'm glad I create a good memory. Small moments in time become nice memories for us.

[Ardra]

She was wildflowers free in heart and a crashing sea in the need of the love. She wanted everything and wanted nothing

Beautiful...as usual... she seemed like a wild fire set loose :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are right. A wild fire cannot be contained. Thank you Ria for reading and the comment.

[Silmara McGarry]

Wooow... Such great enjoyable read!!!!

*Sometime love is forever and
sometime love is chaos and wish.* (Superb)

A big well done from me!
All best friend,
:-)
Sil

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Silmara. I appreciate the kind words.

[PhoenixDown]

Damn ...either way.
Damn Coyote....

Bravo, my friend.
Stellar. Love don't die easy:
hell no it don't. & thus acts as a test in and of itself. Gorgeous write as always.

Phoenix

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you my friend for reading and the comment. Love always die painfully.