I need you, I don't need you.

Just words

                                             

I need you, I don't need you
-----
                                   Damn if you do, damn if you don't
Perfect beautiful girl came to me in the midnight hour. Eyes of hazel green, robust and young body demanding my attention. I knew the ending before the beginning.  She was wildflowers free in heart and a crashing sea in the need of the love. She wanted everything and wanted nothing. I was just a place to rest, till her heart languished new kiss and embrace.

We shared cigarettes, the vodka and juice and the midnight dance. She hypnotized me with sweet words and make me wish for false redemption. The redemption of believing our words whispered in the chaos of passion and sweet kiss.  Were promises made to be obeys.

Longs night led to late afternoon during the cold days of January. We played lovers and for a second. We were the lucky ones in the agony of love for a time. I watched her gain strength and her eyes becoming wild and uncontrolled. I knew she was a wild storm ready to run. I didn't hold her too tightly. I learn a long time ago. Wild birds cannot be caged-up. If you cage-up a wild and free spirit. They will die.

Rumors came to me. My midnight guest was roaming again. I drank the vodka and juice and I told myself. I knew. Damn if you do, damn if your don't.

I wrote her a poem and I gave the poem to her in the early Spring.
--
                 Dance with me

In the name of love.
Love saved me.
Love is not owned.
Love is the kindest gift.
Sometime love is forever and
sometime love is chaos and wish.
Both sweet and needed. Both painful and wonderful.
I love you Jen and I know.
I was the lucky one.
I'm not jealous of your new journey.
I understand the need of new kiss and embrace.
Please dance with me again and please don't forget me.
--

Love don't die easy. Many cigarettes, the vodka and juice and the need of separation is felt.
Hard to know who escaped. Jen wanted everything and I wanted her. Two people running toward different locations. Today the poet write words that still cut deep. Old Poet smiled and whispered to the morning sun.

Damn if you do. Damn if you don't.
             John Castellenas/Coyote








                  

“Moonseeker”, 2016-2017, Yuriy Ku Drop

Author's Note

Just words.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I always love contrasts in writing becuz life is so full of contrasts, it's a great way to SHOW instead of telling how it can be: "damned if you do & damned if you don't". I like the way you use vodka & juice as a repeating refrain of self-soothing. The embedded poem is very good, so true-to-life, especially the last 3 lines of it, which are so relatable. Great job, as usual, my friend! (((HUGS)))

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear friend. I appreciate the comment. Life teaches us. Real love rarely touches us.

[bhavya]

Sometime love is forever and
sometime love is chaos and wish.

Yes.. one needs to give in everything one has.. again and yet again to love.. to un-love.. to remember, to forget.

Lovely poem

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Bhavya. I agree with your logic.

[Hebe]

Beautiful piece John ...enjoyed reading every word. Lovely memories to hold on to and daydream. Your stories always have a magical quality.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Hebe. I do appreciate the comment.

[Ken Simm.]

We can't write unless we go through things such as this. Heartfelt and obviously autobiographical John. Something you do so well. Impressive and sad.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Ken and you are right my friend.

[h d e rushin]

In that way John Ford influenced the mise-en-scene of all theatrical productions that would follow,. and like John Ford this poem combines a narrative with the physical setting like
watching a movie. In other words, "to make a prairie
you need just one clover
and a bee". Or to make a wild encounter happen you need just "wildflowers free at heart and a crashing sea". (lovely)

"in the name of love"
love saves all of us.......wonderfully written...dana

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Dana for reading and the comment. I do appreciate.

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

Loved the graphic with your penned words!
Nice reflection on a romance and the details of it.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Josie. I appreciate the comment.

[Valentine]

What is that old saying? Love is the best when it is given away! Nice write, Valentine

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the quote dear friend. Thank you for reading and the comment.

[andrew mitchell]

A fate more than often that comes true, where one is an untamed, young spirit looking for adventure to be free to discover, where the other has seen all in searching, and finally knows what he wants, but Time issues these cruel twists of fate, when moments are doomed from the start, this knowledge acquired from past experiences. A clever profound write John.

[Coyote Poetry]

Yes, you are right Andrew. Some woman are forever and some woman are strangers in the night. Thank you Andrew for reading and the comment.

[andrew mitchell]

lovely work, i thought of all my passing losses that i could not snare be it wrong timing, seemingly all the time lol

[Coyote Poetry]

It does my friend. I told people often. Woman decide if they want to stay or go?

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Two running towards different locations. yet parallel lines eventually meet, or maybe it is just an illusion of our minds trying to connect two lines that never reach an ending? Beautiful

[Coyote Poetry]

You are right. Just a illusion unless the woman want to stay. Thank you for reading and the comment.

[ms. barrie]

beautifully written, captivating, heartfelt imagery, capturing bittersweet love.

i liked the presentation and your brilliant word weaving, not to mention: i love Gordon Lightfoot as well.

thank you for sharing your stunning ink ~ xo

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear friend. I appreciate the comment.

[ms. barrie]

you're most welcome, the pleasure was all mine :)

[Surya]

John, truly it reminded me of a book named "half baked love story", an Indian named anurag garg wrote it.And it connected with me as well, I know how it would be if a loved one leaves us......
Not as a writer, not a writer though, it grabbed my heart and reminded of her, though i never forget her.
Thank you john for sharing it with us...

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Surya. I appreciate the comment. All of us had loss something that could not be held.