I need you, I don't need you.

Just words

                                             

I need you, I don't need you
-----
                                   Damn if you do, damn if you don't
Perfect beautiful girl came to me in the midnight hour. Eyes of hazel green, robust and young body demanding my attention. I knew the ending before the beginning.  She was wildflowers free in heart and a crashing sea in the need of the love. She wanted everything and wanted nothing. I was just a place to rest, till her heart languished new kiss and embrace.

We shared cigarettes, the vodka and juice and the midnight dance. She hypnotized me with sweet words and make me wish for false redemption. The redemption of believing our words whispered in the chaos of passion and sweet kiss.  Were promises made to be obeys.

Longs night led to late afternoon during the cold days of January. We played lovers and for a second. We were the lucky ones in the agony of love for a time. I watched her gain strength and her eyes becoming wild and uncontrolled. I knew she was a wild storm ready to run. I didn't hold her too tightly. I learn a long time ago. Wild birds cannot be caged-up. If you cage-up a wild and free spirit. They will die.

Rumors came to me. My midnight guest was roaming again. I drank the vodka and juice and I told myself. I knew. Damn if you do, damn if your don't.

I wrote her a poem and I gave the poem to her in the early Spring.
--
                 Dance with me

In the name of love.
Love saved me.
Love is not owned.
Love is the kindest gift.
Sometime love is forever and
sometime love is chaos and wish.
Both sweet and needed. Both painful and wonderful.
I love you Jen and I know.
I was the lucky one.
I'm not jealous of your new journey.
I understand the need of new kiss and embrace.
Please dance with me again and please don't forget me.
--

Love don't die easy. Many cigarettes, the vodka and juice and the need of separation is felt.
Hard to know who escaped. Jen wanted everything and I wanted her. Two people running toward different locations. Today the poet write words that still cut deep. Old Poet smiled and whispered to the morning sun.

Damn if you do. Damn if you don't.
             John Castellenas/Coyote








                  

“Moonseeker”, 2016-2017, Yuriy Ku Drop

Author's Note

Just words.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I always love contrasts in writing becuz life is so full of contrasts, it's a great way to SHOW instead of telling how it can be: "damned if you do & damned if you don't". I like the way you use vodka & juice as a repeating refrain of self-soothing. The embedded poem is very good, so true-to-life, especially the last 3 lines of it, which are so relatable. Great job, as usual, my friend! (((HUGS)))

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear friend. I appreciate the comment. Life teaches us. Real love rarely touches us.

[Mariwel Lao]

The poem is like a "wake up call", that love isn't perfect, even in fantasy there's still struggle to face but the most important thing is how that love specially the one we love impacts us. How worthy it is to bleed and to be hurt in the name of love.
I really appreciate this kind of writing. Well done! :)

[Coyote Poetry]

If you love. You will know sweetness and pain. Gain and lost. Thank you Mariwel for reading and the comment.

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

" If you cage-up a wild and free spirit. They will die."
--This is a heartbreaking little aphorism.

I also love the paradoxical nature of your message - you need love, but at the same time, you don't need to be bogged down by a tantalizing woman since you're kind enough to let her go.

[Coyote Poetry]

Some people cannot stay. But some time with is enough. Thank you dear friend for reading and the comment.

[Harley Quinn]

Amazing! Very well written. I loved every sentence. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Erica. I appreciate the comment.

[Kasey Nichole]

Wow. This was absolutely amazing and very touching yet relatable. You have the ability to make the words on the page flow so nicely, great job. I was completely captivated the entire time. I look forward to reading more of your work.

Great job!!!

-K

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Kasey. You are very kind.

[emmajoy]

'Love is not owned. - Love is the kindest gift.
Sometime love is forever and - sometime love is chaos and wish.
Both sweet and needed. Both painful and wonderful.'

What truth in those phrases yet how dramatic they are! But, because of your honest way with words, you display both the wildness and gentleness of Love - an emotion that overtakes logic of the Now.. can be fleeting or permanent. Whichever, tis always remembered, its mark remains.

Another great post, John. Plus fine visuals that enhance the readers' understanding of the When.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear friend. I appreciate the comment.

[B]

Love is the kindest gift
I love every word
You always have this retro feel to your pieces
the music and artwork
pretty cool ;)

[Coyote Poetry]

I'm old. I guess I'm retro. Thank you for reading and the comment. I do appreciate.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Interesting story, your manner of writing made it easy to read. It felt so honest and real.

"I knew she was a wild storm ready to run. I didn't hold her too tightly. I learn a long time ago. Wild birds cannot be caged-up. If you cage-up a wild and free spirit. They will die." - Perfectly said. Tyfs.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you my friend for reading and the comment. I do appreciate.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

You're most welcome!

[BlaqkShadow]

I adore the way you've set this out, the layout and the choice of words is just beautiful. I felt a real heat from your poem and read it three times over! I had a hard time choosing a favourite line but I think it's " She was wildflowers free in heart and a crashing sea in the need of the love. She wanted everything and wanted nothing" It's so evocative and descriptive I simply adore it! Favourited X

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you my friend. I appreciate the comment.