The cold blooded lover

Old memories lay heavy in hidden places.

      The cold blooded lover

My bad karma led me to you in 1986. You were tire and wore-out and needed a gentle touch and kind smile. I have not forgotten your wanting hazel eyes and your beautiful face. I was trying to drink myself to death and you wanted someone to truly love you.

Desperate and pouring emotions dancing with the Devil, allowed the will of the heart to bathe is wishes and lies. The hope and wishes of needy people lead to the tragic tale with only poor ending and many tears.

I loved your hazel eyes and wild spirit. You looked at me like I was your salvation and a safe place. Our love wasn't allowed. You belong to someone else and I was just a cold blooded lover looking for one reason to be alive.

We found each other in the East side bars of Detroit.  The whiskey, wine and beer made us indulge in hell-bend carnage and arise hope in the dark water of impossible.  We open doors that should of been locked and secure.

I remember your face. Your begging smile wanting me to tell you. Come live with me and leave this depression life. The strong whiskey made us feel safe in the twenty dollars hotels and we infused ourselves with desperate and passionate love. Where lovers find peace in midnight hours. A second of  shelter and peace, then daybreak bring real world and real face.

Tonight I watched the midnight moon and  I remember you. How I left you like everyone else did. You ran for the west coast and found more greedy men and early death.

Today no-one speak sweetly of you. I wondered how you died and did you ever find love? I whispered to the sleeping Gods. Please take a lost angel into heaven. She did not know tenderness or kindness with us here in this world. She was too sweet and kind for us greedy men. She gave everything and she accepted little back in return.

I remember you. I remember your hazel eyes and your beautiful face. I remember a beautiful woman who knew hard roads and little kindness. I love your memory and I wish I was kinder. Old age had taught me. Gifts of love are rare and they are our sweetest days and night.

Lovely one. I remember you.

                           John Castellenas/Coyote

Author's Note

Just words.

Reviews

[Drama Child]

"The hope and wishes of needy people lead to the tragic tale with only poor ending and many tears." Favorite line, and so strongly written and true. It sounds so much like a "if only" story. If only... you asked her to stay with you, if only... she realized her true worth and could have seen herself like you did.
Beautiful Writing!

[Coyote Poetry]

Some people find bad roads and the wrong people. Break your heart when they find dead-end. Thank you for reading and the comment.

[sheandherself]

Wow, this is so touching.
I've been through this. I've heard similar words, and had the thoughts.
"I remember you" sent shivers down my spine. Brilliant.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you. In the end. We shall remember all things.

[Papaya]

So very well written. I think that we have to have these moments in life. It's part of our education.
Everyone is someone we learn from.

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree my dear friend. We learn too late. We should of slow downed and listen. Thank you for reading and the comment.

[barleygirl]

Bone-chilling in its honesty, this intensely-written chapter in almost any life really harkens back to some more desperate times, as well as the regrets that linger on much longer than the encounter itself. Usually your love encounters are written with lighthearted fun, but this one is a departure for you, I think . . . and it's good to share the harsher side of life too. This makes me want to tell one of my own sorry stories from long ago . . . *sigh!*

[Coyote Poetry]

All of us have sorry story to share. We must learn what is worthwhile or not. Thank you my friend for reading and the comment.

[Lydia Shutter]

Live and learn.....in hindsight we realize all the mistakes we made and wish we had a "do over". Sadly, there is no reverse button in life. Yes, gifts of love are rare and we must cherish them when they are at our doorstep. Melancholy recollections, John. Lovely. Lydi**

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Lydia and you are right.

[Lorry]

Sometimes we get the pleasure of knowing someone like no other and sometimes that can also be the downfall. Seeing the real person and knowing too late we could have and should have been better to them than what we were. We live and we learn, just a pity it's usually learnt through pain. Beautiful flow and tone to this piece, really feel the regret.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Nemo. Old regret should make us kinder.

[D]

Just words you say...Yes they are, but then again, words like these are more.
I can relate all too well, to the piece..
It has a haunting glow to it, something beautiful and sad at once, which isn't really easy to create...
Well penned my friend.

[Coyote Poetry]

Bad decisions teach us. Walk softer and be kinder in actions. Thank you Kossuth for reading and the comment.

[D]

You are very welcome :)

[Pryde Foltz]

Tonight I watched the midnight moon and I remember you. How I left you like everyone else did. You ran for the west coast and found more greedy men and early death.

Great story-telling, Coyote:)

[Coyote Poetry]

Real life teaches us to appreciate things and make us wonder. Did we do the right things? Thank you Pryde for sharing the excellent poetry.

[Diamond]

So heart touching. If only the forgotten and forsaken love is so fondly remembered, the world can be a more peaceful place to live in. Beautiful ideas and I felt that the thoughts have flown smoothly in your words. Thank you for sharing it.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Queen and I agree. I appreciate the comment.

[Lola_Bee]

Just realistically beautiful words! very haunting yet settling. love piece

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Lola. I appreciate the comment.

[gentlekindness]

Beautiful John. Echoes of sadness and loss haunt us in our aging. Knowing only now the value of things we once took for granite.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are right my friend. Regret stayed with us. Thank you for reading and the comment.