We fall together into the midnight hours. We allow the silence of the long night to hold deep embrace. Old lovers like us, don't need words. We need tender caress and sweet long kisses to warm-up the heart and soul.
The true lover knows. Love is many years together and making the memories of two people who held on tightly in the bad days and made the good days last longer.
In your eyes. You tell me with gentle caress of the love look. Love is alive and good. I love the silence of the night with you. We become one in body and heart. Not fearing the good bye, but loving the hello.
John,
Truly, your refrain of "just words" falls on mute ears, as this is a deeply entreating piece in homage and deference to a couple's longtime familiarity, entwined by the comfort and beautiful warmth and tenderness of their enduring and endearing moments preserved and made possible by the reality and wonderment of their love for and to one another.
Techy stuff: Something to consider, might be allowing a deeper, more smooth flow and more impacting poetic voice by putting into play fewer periods (stopping points), utilizing commas and well-placed line-breaks, and in a size larger, less common font in italics, for example, to gift it a softer feel. Here, I'll try and illustrate this for you by an easy edit of V1 (of course, unfortunately, the font I cannot change for you here):
⁓-⁓-⁓-⁓-⁓-⁓⁓-⁓-⁓⁓-⁓-⁓⁓-⁓-⁓⁓-⁓-⁓
We fall together …
into the midnight hours,
allowing long night's silence
to hold deep embrace.
Old lovers (like us),
don't need words,
we need tender caresses
and sweet, long kisses
to warm-up the heart and soul.
⁓-⁓-⁓-⁓-⁓-⁓⁓-⁓-⁓⁓-⁓-⁓⁓-⁓-⁓⁓-⁓-⁓
Just an idea shared from one love-smitten bard to another, John, to help broaden your already excellent skills a bit. : )
This is a most fetching piece, with a marvelously encouraging ending for us incorrigible romantics to hang our hearts on … my biggest smile of grateful thanks to you for sharing this lovely work, My Very Talented Friend! ⁓ Richard
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you Richard for reading and the help. I do appreciate.
8 Years Ago
Teaching and helping's in my blood (if it actually does any good) … LOL!
John,
Truly, your refrain of "just words" falls on mute ears, as this is a deeply entreating piece in homage and deference to a couple's longtime familiarity, entwined by the comfort and beautiful warmth and tenderness of their enduring and endearing moments preserved and made possible by the reality and wonderment of their love for and to one another.
Techy stuff: Something to consider, might be allowing a deeper, more smooth flow and more impacting poetic voice by putting into play fewer periods (stopping points), utilizing commas and well-placed line-breaks, and in a size larger, less common font in italics, for example, to gift it a softer feel. Here, I'll try and illustrate this for you by an easy edit of V1 (of course, unfortunately, the font I cannot change for you here):
⁓-⁓-⁓-⁓-⁓-⁓⁓-⁓-⁓⁓-⁓-⁓⁓-⁓-⁓⁓-⁓-⁓
We fall together …
into the midnight hours,
allowing long night's silence
to hold deep embrace.
Old lovers (like us),
don't need words,
we need tender caresses
and sweet, long kisses
to warm-up the heart and soul.
⁓-⁓-⁓-⁓-⁓-⁓⁓-⁓-⁓⁓-⁓-⁓⁓-⁓-⁓⁓-⁓-⁓
Just an idea shared from one love-smitten bard to another, John, to help broaden your already excellent skills a bit. : )
This is a most fetching piece, with a marvelously encouraging ending for us incorrigible romantics to hang our hearts on … my biggest smile of grateful thanks to you for sharing this lovely work, My Very Talented Friend! ⁓ Richard
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you Richard for reading and the help. I do appreciate.
8 Years Ago
Teaching and helping's in my blood (if it actually does any good) … LOL!
This is an awesome description of that comfortable place when words aren't needed between long-time friends/lovers. Lots of times "silence" is used as a weapon or it's interpreted as a hurtful thing. It's refreshing to read about how silence can be one of the most comfortable places in a relationship or friendship. As I get older, I feel less of a need to express everything that goes thru my mind. I admire relationships where the two people are totally content without words. You've summoned some of the most beautiful parts of growing old and/or being together a long time.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 2 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you dear friend. Love is a constant garden. Needing attention daily to keep alive.
A short, sweet and simple poem. A few of the lines were vague, but they worked in this poem, because you're diving deep into describing a simple action action that means so much more. The only real criticism I have is that a few of the same words popped up in the lines. With bigger works of writing that's not an issue. But this is a short poem. If the same descriptive words are being used , then all the lines sort of meld together into one feeling, which is maybe what you wanted. To me, if you added a little more variety in the language, then your lines would pop out even more, though. Thank you for sharing this with us all. I have to say, it looks like you have one of the biggest followings on this site. You're officially on my radar.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you Timothy. I appreciate the honest comment. I agree. Need to not double-up on words with a s.. read moreThank you Timothy. I appreciate the honest comment. I agree. Need to not double-up on words with a short poem.
These moments are the moments I live for... Love is beautiful and you describe it so well. Great work.
"The true lover knows.
Love is many years together and making the memories of two people who held on tightly"
I love the notion of holding on tightly to something worthwhile, while sharing both good and bad memories.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
A good life need two people willing to fight the battles of life together. Thank you Nessly for read.. read moreA good life need two people willing to fight the battles of life together. Thank you Nessly for reading and the comment.
I think this captures real love very well. Your honest and straightforward style is always a refreshing read. Makes me pang a little for something I never found but I enjoyed the read. :)
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you Mark. Love need action and reminders. Love is like a garden. Need water to stay alive.
8 Years Ago
Love does need those things, but first and most important I think, it requires 2 people who KNOW how.. read moreLove does need those things, but first and most important I think, it requires 2 people who KNOW how to love. My wife had a personality disorder and was incapable of loving. She simply didn't know what that meant. But, who knows? Some day maybe I will find a woman who does. i'm not worried about it anymore. I am grateful for the bountiful life I have been given and if I have no more than that, it is enough. :)
A Poet and writer who love to read and write.
My pleasure is reading about the bad and good in a life.
Also to honor the Poets/Writers of the past by reading their words.
Remember .. more..