You can't return from where you left.

Old poem from 1993 with a re-write

                              You can't return from where you left

(A Poet, is one, who believes and one who cannot bring himself to believe.--Tadeusz Rozewics)

I'm watching the waves dance on the Monterey Bay in my favorite Irish Pub. The drink is good and the company demand little and asked no questions. I'm 3000 mile away my Winter woman and the distance isn't enough to erase her memory. Even the powerful Pacific ocean can't make me forget her beautiful face and her long legs. The tragedy of touching bare skin and tender fingertips against us. We demand and need more. When we bathe in the sweetness of kisses and promises made. When we whispered hidden secrets never to be born again. Drink and song will not allow us to forget.  I'm California dreaming and I'm wishing for things lost and cannot be found.

I roamed to one of the Sin cities. I love Reno, Nevada. People are pretending to be someone else and few show real face. I play the games and I drink the free drinks. Beautiful women are everywhere. Lofty ladies wanting payment for sharing warmth with no true payment. I refrain from them because in their gestures of kindness make me  see your soft face near and I drift back to your memory. A woman with your clear blue eyes sat with me, she made me feel weak and I felt like a man lost in a nightmare of never knowing peace. I want to call you, but I know. You cannot return from where you left.

I escape to New York city. I'm trying to find Cohen in the city of 10 million souls. I read poetry in dark poetry houses. They call me the dark Poet. Women wearing black and their body are landscapes of wild and perfect skin come to me. They liked me and I liked them. People who need little can find peace in the salvation of embrace without cost. I read my poetry to generous audience and an pretty girl asked me after. If you loved her so. Why did you release her? Your poetry sweat of her memory. I told her. Sweet love is for the lucky. Dead love and forgotten places are forever tattoos on our skin and heart. I sat alone in the darkness of the New York city night. I whispered. I have not forgotten your face.

I returned to Michigan. I went to her home and I sat in the car. I saw her from a distance and I knew. Neglected love crumbled and we eat the past with delicate spoon. I left my dear love without a words or goodbye. I sat in a Ann Arbor tavern and I whispered. To you my love, you are my only sweetness felt in a life filled with madness and wild journey with no ending.

                                    John Castellenas/Coyote

 

Author's Note

Just words

Reviews

[Ehra Khan]

This is an absolutely divine piece of work.I haven't been here in a long time and this is the first thing I read. It's got so much emotion, depth and truth in it. The essence of true love has been described beautifully. And the vocabulary is fab! I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing! :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Inaya. I'm glad you are back. I enjoyed your poetry also.

[Ehra Khan]

Thank you too:)

[Jon Roggie]

I feel this. I want to think of some kind of eloquent comment, but it would just take away from what I feel. Travels can make a story, and memories the same. Nice write.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Jon for reading and the comment. I do appreciate.

[Jon Roggie]

My pleasure, and in a couple of weeks I get to watch the waves at Monterey.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are very lucky. Maybe next year for me.

[barleygirl]

Your sad tale of wandering & longing reminds me so much of my own life. But growing older is such a gift, becuz now I understand some things are never meant to be, no matter how alluring in the moment or how they continue to tug on our hearts years later. I was drawn to this poem becuz of the title. I so much believe this, but I still keep trying to go back. I love the way you paint this honest human paradox (((HUGS)))

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear friend. You are right. Life is journey and lesson.

[Meghan Ann]

I really like the line about eating the past with a delicate spoon.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Ann. I was reading Donne last week. His old words stayed with me.

[JBoone]

This is really good. I feel this way towards an old love as well. I could not have described it better.

[Coyote Poetry]

Old love become less painful and allow us to memories to write about. Thank you for reading and the comment. I do appreciate.

[I am that I am]

Perhaps we cannot return from where we left because we never have truly left. Beautiful words, Coyote Poetry.

[Coyote Poetry]

In some situations, maybe. If we escape down a long highway and we don't look back. Can't return to same place. Even our elders and grandparent will change. Time changes everything. Thank you for reading and the comment.

[I am that I am]

Time will eventually break down every physical thing. We are from the dust and return to the dust; and we are just a grain of sand in the realm of time and space. We may move from physical place to physical place, but the heart of man stays where it wishes; sometimes in memories long gone and places since changed. The heart of man can change as well; as time changes everything. Man is but a leaf in the wind that is quite easily taken with the breeze. Nothing is impossible. I enjoyed the piece, a look into the past can bring one to accept an ever changing world. The past is depressed, the future is anxious, and the present is peaceful; through the eyes of man. Great work again, and thanks for sharing your thoughts. I live close to Ann Arbor as well.

[Coyote Poetry]

I lived in Ann Arbor in 1986-1991. A beautiful city. I need to visit tree city again and you are welcome.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Sounds like something Thomas Wolfe would say...

[Coyote Poetry]

Thomas Wolfe is like all the great writers. Hold memory and regret closely. Return often to create and find a final peace if possible. Thank you Fabian for reading and the comment.

[Stan Lee]

Your writing is so heartrendingly poignant John. In life there are not always happy endings just stains that fade slowly over time. Every point you make here is very truthful. The effort to move forward when you cant move back. Beautiful writing John. Love it.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Andronica. I appreciate the comment.

[Pryde Foltz]

I have never known drink to allow me to forget much ... some elation and then wham ... here comes the longing. So difficult when you can't be with the one you love. I know this firsthand. A lovely write as alway, Coyote:)

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Pryde. You are right my friend.