Jennifer

Jennifer

A Poem by Coyote Poetry
"

Just words. I found the poem in a 25 year old journal. Had to re-written.

"
  Jennifer

I called my Jennifer from the pay-phone in downtown Monterey in early Spring 1992.  She had been haunting my memories and I needed to hear her voice.

She came here last January from Michigan. We walked the city of Monterey, drank Irish coffee and we held hands like forever lovers. She pretended we had hope and chance. I knew from her sad eyes, when the plane left the ground for her home. I was alone.

Jennifer answered with a surprise. I told her. I needed our last words to be good words. I didn't want a empty-ending without a proper goodbye. She was my world for 5 years and love bleed to no ending when the doors were never closed.


She held silence and she answered. "Dear Johnnie. You want the world. I'm with a child and I'm not free to roam and discover the wild world. I was a dead weight for you. My screw-up life would of dragged you down with me."

I told her. You would never be a burden for me. I will give you the world if I could, but I'm okay dear Jenny. In Monterey I'm coming alive gain. I suicide the big storms of Winter, almost was killed. I have been free-climbing the western coast. Testing my limits. Everything I do. I wish you were with me.

Jenny voice became sad. I knew she had to say goodbye and she told me. "I'm glad you are reaching your dreams. You were locked-up here in Michigan. Now you know the taste of freedom. Please live for me too."

I told her. Jennifer, please come to Monterey. Come walk with me on the pier of Monterey, let's find the place of love again.  Let's sing and dance on the bay and find new hope and joy. We can rebirth old dreams and create new ones. Please come to me and become like children with love, walk barefooted on the sand and built sand castles together. Let's drink sweet wine and find our laughter again. You can find your hunger to love and laugh again with me in Monterey. We can sit with your daughter Tiffany and watch the sun fall into the sea nightly.

Jenny laughed at my words and she told me. "Johnnie, you are too sweet and forgiving. I loved you once. Was a young heart who was protected by you. Today. I'm bury in things I can't control. I can't come to Monterey dear Johnnie. I have traveled too far to know peace."

I whispered. Monterey is so beautiful and alive. Please come to Monterey and I can help you. I need to see you one more time. I need to see your face and to hear your words. Today you have fear and maybe you can learn to know happiness and joy again.

Jenny told me. "I can't come to Monterey. You have found the proper way to live. I have accepted my self-made prison. We held love once Johnnie. Love cost plenty and I don't have anything left. I love your memory and kindness. It is time for you to leave me behind. Please enjoy Monterey for me and don't kill yourself. I love you Johnnie and good bye.

I sat by the Seaside beach. I watched the sea dance with the rise of the midnight moon. I said a silence prayer. Please lord take care of Jenny and Tiffany.
                              John Castellenas/Coyote






© 2015 Coyote Poetry


Author's Note

Coyote Poetry
Some sadness can stay with you forever.

My Review

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Featured Review

John, this is heartbreaking and my heart breaks to read that this is something you've gone through. You describe the experience in such detail... your thoughts, your feelings, the moment.

Some sadness does stay with us forever, and I think it is because we've lost a part of our heart when we gave it to them.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

9 Years Ago

You are right but does become less with time and distance. Thank you Lara for reading and the commen.. read more
Clara

9 Years Ago

You're welcome! :)



Reviews

I love the raw honesty and emotion in this.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

9 Years Ago

Real life is cold and raw. Was my dream once. I learn dreams are just wishes. Life is in the front o.. read more
Cherry Pepperweb

9 Years Ago

Yes, I think you're right. You're welcome Coyote.
Always sad when we lose someone dear.. Being stuck in one city... Had a Jenny but also a place like Monterey was to Jhonnie :) short and sweet! Nice one ;)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

9 Years Ago

Thank you Ralph. Love is never fair. It seem we are in the wrong place to find a lifetime of a happi.. read more
Your right, it is carried with us forever. An imprint on our heart. Bittersweet, I think it is called, and we often relive them, touching each word, each moment, wishing to rewrite an ending.
Thank you, for sharing this part of your heart Coyote.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

9 Years Ago

Thank you Renee. I appreciate the comment.
Man, great story. Its beautiful. I really felt the emotion and truth to it, I lived that history too, loved Jennifer through you. Did this really happen?

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

9 Years Ago

Yes it did. Met her In Ann arbor in 1986 and after three effort. Life separated us for good. Like th.. read more
A powerful and moving write.
Life moves so fast something or the other is missed..
Thank you for sharing this thought provoking piece..

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

9 Years Ago

Thank you Jyoti. I appreciate the comment.
Jyoti_Ablaze

9 Years Ago

You are welcome.
Woah, this was so powerful and it's something that anybody can relate to at one point in there life.
The way you wrote this, John was so vivid... And I agree with your description box, some sadness can stay with you forever.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

9 Years Ago

It does. The poem is from a 25 year journal. Memories written down become permanent story. Thank you.. read more
Re-entering the world of love can cast fear into some peoples hearts. Do I dare to be hurt again or to hurt someones else? Sounds like to me Jenny is content on her self-imposed prison. Nice story Coyote!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

9 Years Ago

You are right and thank you for reading.

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Added on September 6, 2015
Last Updated on September 9, 2015

Author

Coyote Poetry
Coyote Poetry

MI



About
A Poet and writer who love to read and write. My pleasure is reading about the bad and good in a life. Also to honor the Poets/Writers of the past by reading their words. Remember .. more..

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